Glitter and Gold
by Suz Singer
Summary: "I am flesh and I am bone - rise up, like glitter and gold - I've got fire in my soul," Vex has been the terror of the galaxy as Snoke's apprentice and executioner. Many years under Snoke's thumb has made Vex obedient. All she's known in her life is pain & darkness, but she can only take so much. A creature such as Vex has never known love, but love is what cracks Snoke's grip.
1. Chapter 1

Glitter and Gold ( _formerly known as The Light Within)_

 **Chapter 1**

 _22 ABY – Core Worlds Region_

Vex Valorum had been at the mercy of Snoke and the First Order since she was five years old. It had started when she'd shown signs of being Force-Sensitive – she'd levitated a trinket instead of getting up and grabbing it. Her mother and father saw her do it – and two days later, Stormtroopers took Vex from her home and brought her before Snoke.

Her parents hadn't fought for her. Didn't say a word. Didn't move as the Stormtroopers carried her out of the apartment as Vex screamed. In fact, Vex now knew that her parents had called them there.

They'd never wanted her. Her name was _Vex_ , after all.

Her father, Vane, was the last scion of the Valorum House – famous for its politicians and wealth. Vane had been meant to follow the footsteps of his ancestors, but that had quickly changed when his father and grandfather – one a senator and the other a former Supreme Chancellor of the former Republic – were assassinated when Vane was just a child. He'd instead taken control of the family's lucrative starship business.

Her mother, Venesia, was the daughter of a commander of the Galactic Empire. She'd lived a privileged life under the Empire's rule – one she was not willing to give up. Not long after the Empire fell in 5 ABY, Venesia married Vane in order to maintain her lifestyle. There was no love or romance in their life – Venesia married him for the money, Vane married her because he was expected to. Then in 10 ABY, Vex came along, unwanted and unloved. The first girl child to be born of the Valorum line in centuries – a blight on the family name.

So she'd grown up, ignored her by her parents. They simply went on with their life as if Vex didn't exist. She'd been cared for by a Twi'lek woman named Ayla'Lyn – the only person in Vex's life that had loved her. _She_ was the one who'd screamed and fought when Vex had been taken away by the Stormtroopers. She was the one Vex had cried for.

And she'd cried for hours as the Stormtroopers took her from Coruscant onto the _Supremacy_ , Snoke's flagship. They hadn't hurt her. In fact, they'd tried to comfort her. Vex would always remember that. But she'd been just a child, consumed by fear and grief – fear of what would happen to her and grief that her parents hadn't tried to save her from what she'd perceived to be bad men.

And when their commander, a ginger-haired middle-aged man had brought her before Snoke, she had clung to his leg instead of coming forward as Snoke had commanded. Vex was terrified of the old man with a misshapen face and booming voice. The ginger-haired man had pried her off his leg and sent her towards Snoke with a light push.

" _Come here, my child,_ " Snoke said softly, holding out a liver-spotted hand. Vex had shuffled forward, sniffling and clutching the fabric of her torn and dirtied dress until she stood before him and his throne. " _Closer, young one,_ " he'd cooed.

Fearfully, Vex had inched forward until she was within reach of his wrinkled, but strong hands. He took hold of one of her tiny, pale hands and held it gently in his. " _What is your name, child?_ " Snoke asked.

"Vex," she'd said in a trembling voice. She dared not look him in his eyes. She remained still, consumed with fear.

" _Vex,_ " Snoke tasted the word on his tongue. He smiled, leaning forward and tilting her chin up to catch her gaze. " _A ferocious name for what will be a ferocious warrior,"_ Her hazel eyes looked into his milky-blue ones. " _There is fear inside you, my child. And power…_ "

"I want to go home," Vex said weakly, lower lip trembling.

Snoke only smiled again, an ugly thing that promised pain if she ever asked again. Vex sensed it, lowering her gaze to the floor again as Snoke withdrew his hand. " _My child,_ _ **this**_ _is your home, now,_ "

And with that, Vex had become the adopted child of Snoke. His first apprentice, before Kylo Ren and his Knights. Fools that they were, they had volunteered for the cause. _Vex_ had been given no choice in the matter.

From the moment that Vex had been taken onto Snoke's ship, no-one had asked her what she wanted. Instead, they'd just given it to her. They fed her what Snoke said. Took her where Snoke said. Replaced her old dress with dark clothing Snoke had picked for her. Instead of Ayla'Lyn, Vex now had a droid that watched her every move.

Snoke had given her a week to settle in before her training began. His gentle voice from their first meeting was gone now, instead replaced with a harsh tone that only frightened her. When she did not succeed in completing a task Snoke set her, her droid caretaker shocked her. Vex cried herself to sleep every night.

Over the years of her training and what some would call captivity, Vex tried to escape many times. Each time she was caught within an hour, before she could get close to getting off the ship. Snoke made sure Vex knew exactly how much he disapproved, exactly how angry he was. By the time she reached ten, Vex knew it was useless to try.

Her childhood and training served to condition into Vex the belief that it was simply easier to do as Snoke told her. When she refused an order, it was not only her who suffered.

The first time he'd asked her to kill, Vex had refused. Every fiber of her being told her it was wrong. She didn't want to. But then she found her body, her limbs, moving without her permission. " _You will do this, Vex, whether you want to or not,_ " Snoke had said, voice taut with anger. His hand was outstretched, his control of the Force manipulating her.

Her hand reached for her lightsaber without permission, igniting the blade no matter how she strained against it. Those arms, _her_ arms, sliced the man's head from his shoulders, never once pausing despite her struggle. _Then_ her body had suddenly been hers again, and she collapsed to the floor, crying helplessly.

She did not know how much danger she was in until she heard the whisper of his robes dragging against the floor. Snoke had risen from his throne. Vex was lifted from the ground by her throat, facing his enraged expression. " _You disappoint me, Vex,_ " Her fingers clawed uselessly at her throat, letting out tiny gasping breaths. She wasn't getting enough air. " _Disappoint me again, Vex, and it'll be isolation for you_ ,"

With that, she was dropped back to the floor beside the lifeless man. " _Rise, as the fearless warrior I trained,_ " Snoke ordered. Vex carefully climbed to her feet, stuffing the sadness and anger down deep inside her. She faced her master with a blank expression, tears still making tracks down her face.

After a moment of his gaze combing over her, he let out a sigh. " _Sometimes I forget how young you are, my child. Only twelve years old. I see you becoming more powerful every day, and I crave_ _ **more**_ _. Forgive this old man, Vex. Next time will be easier, I promise,_ " Snoke said, holding out his arms to her.

Nothing inside of Vex's being wanted to go to him. But if she didn't, it would be worse. She knew that. So she shuffled into the circle of his arms, allowing her to enfold her with his embrace. Perhaps he thought he was comforting her. Reinforcing their relationship of father and child. Vex knew better. She knew he only did this to remind her of the fealty she owed him.

Loyalty without question.

At the age of twelve, Vex began to wish she could die.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 2**

 _23 ABY – Outer Rim Territories_

Kylo Ren and his knights had become Snoke's newest apprentices this year. They had come to join the First Order after they'd slaughtered everyone at Luke Skywalker's Jedi Temple – children and all.

More than a year after her first kill, Vex was now a practiced hand at murder. But even _she_ found them repugnant.

Snoke seemed entirely enthralled by them, Kylo Ren especially. She minded little when Snoke's attention shifted from her to him. Kylo Ren seemed smug over the matter, but Vex only wanted to laugh. Soon he would realize the pain of Snoke's instruction. While his focus was on them, Snoke hadn't forgotten her. Vex still had to train with him for at least an hour every day – and then she had to spar with them.

The first time she'd sparred against one of the Knights of Ren, she had not-so-accidentally killed him. She could not stop the smile that had unfurled on her lips as his body twitched at her feet.

The others had stared at her in shock before Kylo Ren had begun to advance on her. It was Snoke's laughter that stopped him in his tracks. He stretched his hand out to her. Vex turned off her blood-red lightsaber as she stepped over the body to approach her master.

As she passed Kylo Ren, she made sure to catch his eyes with her own. There was anger there, hurt. _He will never love you like you want_ , she whispered into his mind. He reeled back in shock, lightsaber extinguishing at his side. Vex turned her gaze forward and closed the distance between her and her master, placing her hand in his.

Snoke drew her closer, a smile on his lips. " _My ferocious child_ ," he cooed. " _How did it feel, striking him down?_ " he asked.

"Good," Vex answered, searching her emotions.

" _What did it taste like?_ " Snoke asked, smile widening.

Vex took her time answering, considering the question. "Sweet. Like Chantilly crème," she answered.

Snoke laughed again, cradling her face in his huge hands. By now, she knew to never shrink away. " _Like Chantilly crème,"_ he repeated, mirthfully. " _Why do you think it tasted so sweet, unlike your other kills?_ " he asked. Vex shrugged. " _Reach inside yourself with your emotions, Vex. Tell me,_ "

Vex obediently closed her eyes, searching down inside herself for the answer. _He was bad,_ her instincts told her. "Because I hated him," was the answer Vex gave.

A smile of pure joy crossed Snoke's ruined face. " _Hate is sweet, is it not, my child_?" he said. Vex nodded lightly. " _I am so proud of you_ ," Snoke continued, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

He pushed the emotion out at her, pride and cold satisfaction surrounding her. It took every fiber of her being not to flinch.

"You aren't going to punish her, Master?" Kylo Ren asked suddenly, as if confused. The oppressing cloud suddenly dispersed around her. Snoke released her, and Vex stepped to the side so he could face Kylo Ren.

Her hand still lay atop Snoke's as she stood beside his throne. He liked the pretense of affection between them. Her eyes found the new apprentice before her, expression fading into blankness.

" _What would you have me punish her for, boy?_ " he asked, voice low and dangerous.

"She killed Cado!" Kylo Ren exclaimed.

" _Lady Vex has only done what I have taught her, Kylo Ren. She hated the boy, and he was too weak to defend himself_ ," Snoke said. " _My child is only thirteen years old. If she can defeat a boy almost twice as old as she… it is he to blame,"_

"She killed one of your apprentices!"

"You murdered the younglings of your last Master, Kylo Ren," Vex pointed out.

Suddenly his angry eyes were fixed upon her. "They were weak! Killing them was a mercy!"

"Is that what you call murder, Kylo Ren? A mercy? Then, by your logic, all I offered your friend Cado was mercy," Vex retorted.

Snoke's laugh broke through the tense moment. " _Would you like to kill Kylo Ren, my child?_ " he asked. Kylo Ren looked between the two of them with alarm.

"Yes," Vex answered bluntly, fingering the lightsaber hanging from her belt.

Snoke laughed again. " _Not today, my sweet. Kylo Ren's power may even rival yours. We will keep him,_ " he said. Kylo Ren's shoulders slumped with relief, expression pulling down in a frown. " _Leave, all of you! I will speak with my beloved apprentice alone,_ " he said.

Kylo Ren and his knights left eagerly, _quickly_ , after what Vex had done, and what Snoke had said. "Master, what is it?" Vex asked, turning back to face him.

" _It is time, my child, for you to take a command position,_ " Snoke said.

"I don't understand," Vex said, brows furrowed.

" _You, my dearest apprentice, will begin training with your own legion of clones. They will be yours alone to command_ ," Snoke said.

"Mine?" she asked in confusion.

" _Yes, Vex. Your loyalty is without question, my child. You have shown yourself to be obedient and dutiful, despite your young age._ "

"What will I do? With a command?" Vex said, beginning to look worried.

Snoke smiled, tapping her face " _You will carry out my orders – special missions I can trust no other with_ ,"

Vex tried not to show the hope that consumed her at the thought of being able to leave the _Supremacy_. She hadn't left the ship since her parents had given her over to Snoke. "I do not know what to say, Master," Vex admitted.

" _Say nothing, my child, and be thankful. In a month, the clones for your unit will arrive and you will begin to train them."_ Snoke said. Vex gave a nod. " _They will be of an age with you when they arrive. Their growth is accelerated, they will age quickly as you train. By the time you're ready in a few years, they will have reached adulthood. By then, you will be ready to leave the_ Supremacy _on your own ship for your first mission,"_ he continued.

"My own ship?" Vex was taken aback.

 _"I've already commissioned it, my child. The_ Vexation _will be ready when you are,"_ Snoke said.

"Thank you, Master," Vex said, awestruck and unsure of what else to say.

" _Go on, child, go about the rest of your day,"_ he ordered, gesturing for her to go. Vex left his side, heading for the door. " _One more thing, Vex,_ " he said. Vex paused turning back towards him. _"I care not about the rest, but if you kill Kylo Ren, I will be very displeased with you._ " He warned.

Vex dipped her head in acknowledgment. "I understand, Master." she said. He waved a hand at her, dismissing her from the room. Vex stepped through the doorway, the doors hissing shut behind her.

Kylo Ren waited for her outside in the hallway. "What did he say to you?" he demanded, expression creased in anger.

Vex lifted an eyebrow. "He gave me a command," she answered honestly.

His response was visible. He grit his teeth, squeezing his gloved hands into fists. "The Supreme Leader gave _YOU_ a command!? A little girl!?" Kylo Ren said.

Vex rolled her eyes and nodded. "It seems our Master has more faith in me than you, Kylo Ren. After all, I did not betray my first Master," she pointed out.

Kylo Ren's hand darted towards his lightsaber – Vex threw out her hand and his froze mid-movement. He let out a furious growl, face turning red at the exertion of fighting against her power. "Do not be foolish, Kylo Ren. Just because the Supreme Leader forbade me from killing you does not mean I cannot defend myself," she said.

"You'll regret this, Vex," he hissed.

Vex only smiled in response. "I only do as my master commands, Kylo Ren. If you wish to take it up with him…" she suggested. He paled. She released her hold on his arm, and Kylo Ren swiftly turned and marched away without a word.

Within the month, Kylo Ren was the only Knight of Ren left.

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 3**

 _27 ABY – Mid Rim Territories_

Vex trained hard with her battalion every day without fail. She had started with just ten men when she was thirteen, and within a month, twenty. Four years later, she had five units of twenty clones under her command. They were one of the most elite emerging battalions, with their dedicated training and ability to move seamlessly as a group.

Vex knew what it was like to be volunteered for a cause you didn't choose. The clones had been bred for this, yes, but Vex thought it still held true. Her first order of business in training her clones was to teach them to support each other and how she wasn't above them. Vex got down and dirty to work through the training maneuvers with them every day – emphasizing that she would support them as they were there to carry out her orders.

She wasn't like Kylo Ren, who threw fits and killed Stormtroopers in the midst of his tantrums. Vex kept a cool head in most matters – she'd never yet lost her temper in front of her troops – and didn't plan to. She cared about them, in her way, as confused as it was. They treated Vex almost like a little sister – they were protective, they teased her – they were her escape from the misery of her life.

They were ready for deployment, ready to receive their Stormtrooper uniforms – the ones Vex had specially designed for them. Their body armor would be black with a red chest-piece. On the right shoulder would be Vex's insignia – a red flower outline encased in a black circle.

Any day now, her ship, the _Vexation_ would arrive, and her battalion would leave for their first mission. Vex was both apprehensive and elated at the idea.

Kylo Ren had already been out on missions – but he _was_ older than her at twenty-two years old versus her seventeen. It was a small comfort knowing that he hadn't been given a command post or unit as she had.

Vex was in the middle of working through an exercise with Unit Delta when her commlink chirped. She paused, answering it. " _Lady Vex, Supreme Leader Snoke awaits you in his throne room._ " Commander Hux stated over the link.

Armitage Hux was the son of Brendol Hux, the man who'd led the stormtroopers to take Vex from her home all those years ago. Vex thought Armitage was a twat, but they shared a mutual dislike of her father. With that common ground, they worked well together. They also commiserated over Kylo Ren's bratty behavior when the occasion called for it.

"Alright. I'll be right there," she said, terminating the link. Then Vex was promptly hit in the face with a towel.

"Thought you'd want to clean up before going to the Supreme Leader," SN-1347 said, smirking from a few feet away.

Vex rolled her eyes as she dried her face and neck. "Thanks," she said dryly. "Carry on – I'll return if I can," she instructed, jogging towards the door.

"Be careful," another cautioned. One of her younger clones, CC-1431 always seemed wary of when she was called away. He was one of her favorites.

Vex flashed a grin back at them. "Always am," she said, pressing the button to open the doors. She stepped through and into the nearest elevator. She took the few moments inside to right her appearance – quickly re-braiding her hair neatly and straightening her clothes.

The elevator opened a short way from Snoke's throne room, so Vex took the last few moments along the path to draw deep, calming breaths to prepare herself. This was not their time for training – she didn't know what she'd be walking into.

Vex entered Snoke's throne room to see two people kneeling before her master. A man and a woman. " _Come to me, my child,_ " Snoke said, holding out a hand to her. After a moment, she stepped forward and past the kneeling couple to stand beside him and lay her hand on his upturned palm.

"What is it, Master?" she asked, her curious gaze darting to the man and woman who knelt before him. They never moved. Never looked up. When she looked closely, she noticed the woman's hands were trembling.

Snoke's expression was split by a smile. Vex knew his expressions by now. _That_ one was not one of pride or joy. He was up to something. Something unpleasant, she was sure. " _Your ship, the Vexation, has finally arrived, Vex. I thought you would take interest in meeting the man who had it built."_ Snoke said. Vex lifted an eyebrow, glancing back to the pair before her. " _Do you not recognize them, my child? **Rise** ," _Snoke ordered.

The man and woman stood. The man did not offer his hand to the woman despite her apparent unsteadiness. Vex's lips thinned. As she examined them, they kept their faces downcast still – refusing to look at her.

They were both weak-looking, in luxurious clothing. They were thin and well-kempt, clearly unused to any sort of physical labor. There was something about the two that tugged at Vex's unconscious, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She turned back to her master, shaking her head lightly.

 _"Tell her who you are._ " Snoke ordered.

The man lifted his head, looking at Vex for the first time. The blue of his eyes were familiar. She knew them – saw them in the mirror every morning. Vex tensed, the hand at her side curling into a fist. The woman looked up more reluctantly, shaking out a mane of burgundy hair not unlike Vex's own. Her cheekbones cut across her face, giving the woman an almost exotic look with her tanned olive skin. Traits Vex shared.

"I am Vane Valorum. My wife, Venesia," the man said, gesturing to the woman. Vex turned back to Snoke, eyes wide. His hand tightened on hers.

"We are your parents," Venesia said, voice trembling.

" _Yes, my child. These are the people who threw you away._ " Snoke said. " _The ones who brought you into this world and then so cruelly ignored you. Betrayed you._ "

Vex sucked in a deep breath, her fist tightening as Snoke's grip on her other hand tightened. "We did what we thought best," Vane said, though his expression was uncertain.

"You thought it best you abandon your only child?" Vex said, her hand slipping from her master's grip. Her grip on her temper was tenuous at best, and she was spiraling towards the edge – closer to breaking than she ever had before.

Vane and Venesia simply stared at her. "It's the truth, isn't it? You never wanted me, so when you saw what I could do you knew you could get rid of me!" Vex shouted.

"That's not true!" Venesia said.

"Then tell me, _mother_ ," Vex spat. "I'd love to hear how you thought you were helping me,"

Venesia heaved a sigh. "When I saw what you could do, I knew you could hurt someone. Hurt yourself. And you were always such an angry little girl-"

"-I was angry because you ignored me!" Vex cut in.

"We didn't call for the First Order, Vex. We put out word to see if Luke Skywalker would take you on," Vane said. Vex's lips parted, mind whirling. "The First Order arrived first. We knew it was useless to fight," he continued.

"This isn't what we wanted for you, Vex," Venesia said softly.

 _The First Order raised you, my child. Nurtured you. Trained you into the glorious warrior you are today,_ Snoke's voice whispered into her mind.

 ** _But they didn't betray me,_** Vex thought.

 _If you had joined Luke Skywalker's temple, you would be dead,_ Snoke reminded her. Vex closed her eyes tightly, sorting through her emotions. After a few moments, she opened them, gazing at her parents.

"Is that the truth? Is that what you would say if you didn't fear for your life right now?" Vex questioned, anger in her voice. Vane and Venesia mere looked at her, saying nothing. "That's what I thought," she laughed bitterly.

Vex stepped down from the platform to approach her parents. They shrank back. "Whatever you did or didn't do, it changes nothing. I am _still_ here, Supreme Leader Snoke's apprentice and a Sith lord. You still mistreated me when I was yours. Whatever you wanted for me – _this_ is what you chose. You no longer have a daughter, and I no longer have a mother or father," Vex said, hands clenched tightly at her sides. "Go, before I change my mind!"

Vane and Venesia scurried from the room eagerly, not looking back once. " _Well, I can't say I didn't hope you'd kill them,"_ Snoke admitted in a regretful tone.

"Why did you make me face them, Master?" Vex questioned – dropping to her knees before him.

Snoke reached out, brushing a hand over her head. " _A test, my child. I was curious to see if you could put aside your own wants and emotions. As much as I hate to admit it, I know you do not share all of my ideals. I had to know if you could put that aside in order to carry out my directives,_ " he explained.

"Did I pass?" Vex asked.

Snoke smirked. " _Yes, my child. Tomorrow morning you will ship out on your first mission."_

"What is it?" she said eagerly.

Snoke chuckled. " _There is a small group of resistance fighters on Gan Moradir. You will lead your battalion there and wipe them out,_ " Snoke said. Vex nodded. " _Return to your unit and prepare them for leaving tomorrow first thing,"_ he instructed.

Vex started towards the door, only for his voice to stop her. " _One more thing…"_ she turned back to face him. " _Commander Hux will join you as your council. He will be there to supervise and help if necessary."_ He said.

"Thank you, Master," Vex said in surprise. She couldn't deny that it was a relief. She had not left the _Supremacy_ in the twelve years she'd been Snoke's apprentice. Having Hux along would be an annoying yet useful safety net.

Snoke's ominous voice followed her as she left the throne room, issuing orders to her units through her commlink. _Do not fail me, Vex Valorum._

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	4. Chapter 4

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 4**

 _27 ABY – Gan Moradir_

One hundred Stormtroopers, her whole battalion, stood before her in black and red body-armor, her sigil on their right shoulders. They were in perfect formation, their blasters in hand. Their eyes – well, the eyes of their helmets were fixed forward, on her. It was silent, for _once_ , as they waited for their orders.

With Hux standing behind her, Vex was glad to know her men knew their place. In private, she didn't mind the banter or questioning. But in front of others such as Hux, it was undermining. It made her look weak before them, listening to the word of those supposedly lower than her.

Vex stood on a raised platform before them, arms crossed over her chest. She wore new clothing she'd commissioned for this purpose. It was similar to her older clothing – tight and dark, making for easy movements and vented to let heat escape; but with armor woven into the cloth. Her burgundy hair was braided and pinned up to stay out of her way, her face painted with dark make-up that framed her eyes and covered her lips. She had been given no mask to hide her features as Kylo Ren did.

"Supreme Leader Snoke has given us our first mission. Now is the time to prove yourself! Prove _ourselves_! We will carry out his orders to the letter with efficiency and care and secure our place as an elite battalion of the First Order!" Vex called out, voice amplified by a device she held to her mouth.

"Our mission is simple. There is a small group of rebels controlling Gan Moradir. They have taken over the old Imperial base from the days of the Empire. We are to exterminate them and take control for the First order," she explained.

Behind Vex appeared a screen schematic of the city and old Imperial base. Vex turned to the side so she could see it as she spoke. "Unit Alpha will accompany me as I head for the control room. Units Beta and Delta will sweep through the rest of the base and clear it. Unit Echo will form a perimeter outside and make sure there are no surprises from the locals. Unit Coda will stay with the ship and keep watch on outgoing or incoming ships. No-one leaves this rock until we've finished our mission," Vex instructed.

"Am I clear?" she asked. Her battalion called out, thumping their fists against their chest piece. "Make me proud, boys," Vex said. "Report to the boarding ramp. We move in five," she ordered, turning to Hux behind her as the room filled with the sound of tramping boots.

"Did I miss anything?" Vex asked, handing the voice amplifier to Hux.

He looked her up and down, expression dispassionate. "No, Lady Vex. You've done well. I only hope your Stormtroopers are as well-trained as they appear," he said, almost as if the praise pained him.

"They are," Vex promised. "Keep your commlink on, Hux. I want to be able to contact you if this goes sideways," she requested, spinning on her heel to leave.

"As much as I hate to say it, I don't think you'll need my help. I will, of course, be available in case you do," Hux remarked behind her.

"Thank you, Hux!" Vex called out, glancing back but not breaking her stride. Hux lifted his hand to offer a swift salute before heading to the control room.

Vex met Unit Alpha, her oldest troops, on the boarding ramp. "You ready for this?" she asked, stepping close to the unit's commanding officer, SN-2846.

A chuckle was filtered through the mask. " _Born_ ready, Lady Vex. We'll have your back, you know that," he said.

Vex nodded sharply. "I do," she confirmed.

"You are worried." SN-2846 said. It wasn't a question.

She nodded again, her eyes fixed before them. "If I do not please the Supreme Leader…" Vex said quietly. She did not need to finish the sentence. He knew exactly what she meant. He'd seen the scars she'd been given as a result of displeasing her master.

SN-2846 began to reach out to her, hand stilling after a few inches. Unlike the training room, or in private, it would not be looked well upon for him to touch her. She gave a nod, acknowledging the gesture. "Lady Vex, every man in this battalion is loyal only to you. Would lay down their lives for you. We will follow your every order to the letter and ensure you stay in the Supreme Leader's good graces," he said.

The reason for this, SN-2846 left unspoken. Vex knew. To protect her from Snoke's anger. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, before opening them again. "Your loyalty means much to me, SN-2846," she said before stepping away from his side.

Vex moved to the front of the boarding ramp, before her battalion. "My friends, today we will prove our worth to the First Order and the Supreme Leader. I know you will not fail me," she called out to them. Again, they acknowledged her words with a call of their own, and thumped their fists against their chest-pieces. "Lower the ramp!" Vex shouted. The ramp began to lower immediately, so smoothly that they could not feel the movement beneath their feet. The landing pad was clear of life. Vex led her battalion off the ship and onto a planet for the first time in twelve years. She took a moment, soaking in the sun above her head, and the wind whistling through the air, stirring a few stray strands of the hair.

"Let's do this," she said, raising a hand and beckoning them forward.

* * *

Vex had completed her first mission successfully. There was a sense of relief thrumming through her that she could not deny, but there was sorrow there, too. Guilt. Vex had killed twenty-three people today. Her battalion altogether had killed more than a hundred. Fifty had been rebels. Fifty had been civilians that had come to the rebels' aid.

An example had been made. Vex had begun to tell her men to spare as many as they could, but then she remembered her master. Remembered what he'd want her to do. Vex had ordered them to be stopped at any means necessary. To use lethal force if necessary. Her men had deemed it necessary. She trusted their judgment.

Fifty innocent civilians had died because they'd stood up to darkness. Vex wished she was that brave.

For her first mission, it had been executed perfectly. Not a single trooper had lost their life today. Minor injuries easily fixed. But there _was_ one blemish upon the day. Vex had been elated as they left the empty old Imperial base, only for a surviving rebel wielding a _fucking_ _bowcaster_ to shoot her.

Caught by surprise, the first projectile pierced her through the shoulder, wringing a cry of surprise from her throat. Her men immediately started shooting, going after him. Vex pressed one hand to her bleeding shoulder, throwing up her other hand to freeze the rebel in place.

"Don't kill him!" she called out, halting her men in place.

"Lady Vex?" one of her commanders asked.

Vex ignored him, striding towards the rebel, the man frozen in fear. "Fool!" she shouted, gritting her teeth as pain radiated up her shoulder and down her arm. Blood spilled from between her fingers. "If you hadn't needed to act the hero, you would have gotten away!" she said, huffing out a bitter laugh.

One of her men came to her side, tying a cloth around her shoulder as a make-shift bandage. "Lady Vex, we need to get you back to the ship so you can be treated," he said.

"Fine," Vex grumbled, turning away. "Stun him and bring him along. I'm sure Kylo Ren would love to torture him," she ordered, stomping in the direction of the ship.

"Yes, ma'am," a chorus of voices echoed behind her.

A small group of her men surrounded Vex – close enough to catch her if she fell, she noted. Despite the pain, despite the blood dripping down her arm, Vex was fine. Irritated.

This wound would be something Snoke would surely notice, and point to as a mistake. Regardless of the impeccable execution of her mission. She'd been wounded, as a Sith lord should not have been. Not by some idiot rebel with a big gun. Vex's hands curled into fists at her sides.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**


	5. Chapter 5

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 5**

 _27 ABY – Mid Rim Territories_

Vex knelt at the feet of her master's throne, eyes lowered as her injured arm sat stiffly by her side. "The mission was successful, Master. The rebel base was wiped out. We had no casualties on our side and only minor injuries reported," she spoke through gritted teeth. On board her ship, one of her cross-trained troopers/medics had patched the wound – but she'd need further treatment on the _Supremacy_. She needed real medics for her ship – or at least a few droids.

" _You've been injured_ ," Snoke pointed out, lazily gesturing towards her arm. Vex gave a sharp nod. " _Pray tell me, child – how did you allow this to happen?"_ he questioned.

Vex sucked in a deep breath. He made it sound as if it was purposeful, but, of course, the fault _did_ lay with her. "I was leaving the base after we'd cleared it. The moment I was in open air, a surviving rebel jumped up and shot me with a bowcaster. I suppose he hid from my troops until that moment," she explained.

" _And you did not see him coming? You did not stop the blast before reaching you?_ " Snoke said in a disappointed tone.

Vex shook her head. "I did not sense him among all the others, Master. Somehow he escaped my men –"

" _So you lay the blame with your troops. With you training them so personally, Vex, I was led to believe they would be as thorough as you._ " Snoke spoke, sitting back in his throne.

Vex sighed. "They are mere men, Master. They are fallible. Among the seventy-three rebels that inhabited that base, seventy-two were already dead. The last must have slipped away in the chaos." She said.

" _Seventy-three? You reported 123 dead_." Snoke asked, leaning forward eagerly.

Vex looked down. "Fifty of the casualties were civilians. They tried to come to the rebels' aid. My men were caught by surprise at this – they executed their orders precisely, but that last rebel must have hid during the chaos of that attack," she explained.

A grim smile spread over Snoke's lips. " _What orders did you give?_ "

Vex looked up, catching the milky blue of his eyes with hers. "I ordered they be turned away, with whatever force deemed necessary. My men deemed lethal force necessary."

" _Hmmm,_ " Snoke brought his hand up to stroke his chin as he thought. " _I feel guilt. Sorrow. They radiate from you, my child,_ " he said.

Vex let out another long breath. "Those people – the civilians – they did not have to die, Master. If they'd just stayed inside their homes and let us do what we had to. If they had not objected, they would still be alive," she said.

" _Come closer, my child_ ," Snoke said, outstretching an arm to her. Vex rose on uncertain feet, crossing the few feet of space that divided them. At his feet, she knelt again, lowering her eyes to the floor. His large hand rested on the back of her head. It was not a gentle touch. " _Those people of Gan Moradir… they rebelled against the First Order, Vex. Despite the fact that it was their only act of rebellion, **they**. **still**. **rebelled**. You did as you were ordered." _

"Then why do I still feel sorrow?" Vex asked in confusion. She still did not dare look up. His grip on her tightened.

Snoke sighed. " _Because they do not see reason as you do. When you were a young child, you understood that your place was to obey me and the First Order. You understand that still. Those civilians on that planet did not. My child, you offered them redemption by telling them to go back to their homes. They did not see the mercy you offered them. When they persisted, you had no choice,_ " he purred.

Vex stiffened beneath his grasp. His tone was too kind, too understanding. His hand left the back of her head to catch her chin, forcing her to look up at him. _"There will be people everywhere you go that will object to your mission. They will rebel. You must grow used to the idea that feeling sorrow or guilt for them is useless. They have made their choice, Vex. They will die for it,"_ Snoke hissed, his grip on her chin bruising.

"Yes, Master," she whispered. Abruptly, he released her. She nearly lost her balance, but with her good hand planted on the ground, Vex held steady.

" _And the Rebel? Why did you not kill hi_ m?" Snoke asked. " _It seems that killing him would have been more merciful than giving him to Kylo Ren."_

"He made me angry." Vex answered honestly.

A smile spread across his misshapen face. " _Go on and see a medic. Do not allow them to erase the scar, my child. It will serve you as a reminder of your failure,"_ Snoke ordered in a deceivingly gentle tone.

"Yes, Master," Vex said quickly. She stood and bowed stiffly, the pain of her wound beginning to bleed through her composure.

Once outside Snoke's throne room, SN-2846 snapped to her side from his post waiting outside the door. "You must go to sick bay and be treated," he said.

"I'm going now," she grumbled, glancing at him. He was still wearing the Stormtrooper armor. They weren't allowed to take it off without permission once they were given the armor. "I'm not used to seeing you in that armor." Vex remarked, entering the elevator with SN-2846 at her side. She punched the button for the sick bay's level on the starship.

He glanced towards her, holding his blaster casually in one hand. "Do you think I will be allowed to remove it later, in private?" SN-2846 asked. Vex could hear the flirtatious, teasing tone in her mind, but it was lost through the filters of his mask.

Vex lifted an eyebrow in his direction. "I think it can be arranged," she said coolly. Though she couldn't see it, she could imagine the familiar lopsided smirk that would have sprung to his lips at her words.

* * *

At Vex's side, as always, was SN-2486. He'd stood beside her as a doctor cut the blood-soaked sleeve from her shirt, revealing her pale flesh smeared with the crimson substance. His worried thoughts were loud, nearly making her dizzy with their intensity.

When she'd ordered the doctor to leave a scar, Vex had felt him begin to speak. She swung her head to glare at him before the first syllable filtered through the mask, abruptly silencing him. "Wait outside, SN-2486," Vex barked. He hadn't moved at first, simply looking at her through that godawful mask before he'd followed his orders. In peace, the doctor had treated the wound and applied a bacta bandage to both the entrance and exit parts of the wound, and sent her off.

Vex had been quick to head for her quarters afterwards, SN-2846 followed silently. The moment the doors had sealed behind them, she started to peel off the ruined clothing and cast them aside to head for the refresher.

"Do I have your permission to remove my armor?" SN-2846 asked hesitantly, laying his blaster on the closest table. Turning to look back at him, Vex gave a sharp nod before entering the refresher and stepping into the shower. She didn't stay under the spray long, preferring instead to quickly scrub the dirt and blood that caked her skin away. Once she felt clean, Vex climbed out, wrapping herself in a towel.

Standing before the mirror, Vex stared long and hard at herself. Her long burgundy hair appeared almost purple when wet, spilling over her shoulders in disarray. Her skin was pale and unfreckled, from twelve years cooped up on the ship without seeing the sun once. Large, icy-blue eyes framed by long, dark eyelashes; sharp, high cheekbones and plump lips. Vex looked young and innocent at the age of seventeen. She wanted to laugh at the thought.

You only had to look below her neck to know she was no pretty little girl. That pale, perfect skin was painted with scars. Some were thick, corded and an angry red, like the one on her hip and clavicle; and some were thin and white, crisscrossing her skin. The scar Vex had earned today would be an ugly one, puckered and red if she were able to guess. All reminders of her many failures.

Vex left the refresher, digging through her drawers to pull out clothes to sleep in. "'fresher's all yours." she offered, glancing back to SN-2846. His armor was discarded near the door, and he sat on the edge of her bed in a dark shirt and pants. He looked sweaty.

"You saying I reek?" he asked in good humor, eagerly getting up. Vex returned the jest with a half-hearted smile. SN-2846 passed her, gently sliding his hand against her bare back and flashing her a warm look.

Vex dropped the towel once the doors had closed behind him, and tugged on the soft linen clothes she slept in. She slipped into bed, curling into a tight ball under her blankets. The ache in her shoulder intensified as she mistakenly laid on it, causing her to swiftly turn onto her other side.

She exhaled lowly, closing her eyes. When she focused on the pain, she was able to push it down deep inside her using the Force. After a brief moment of agony, the pain completely disappeared. Vex sighed, relaxing into the into the cushiony bed.

Now she could sleep, and it was all she wanted – to leave everything behind. Even the demons that haunted her dreams were preferable to her waking existence. Her imagination couldn't conjure anything more horrifying than what she lived every day.

Not long after she'd begun to doze off, Vex felt SN-2846 slide into bed behind her. He curled his body against hers, pressing a gentle kiss to the peak of her bad shoulder. "Sleep well, Vex," he murmured, settling beside her. Vex shifted to lay on her back, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his damp, shaggy blond hair.

SN-2846, or Sin, as she preferred to call him, was quite handsome in her opinion. Vex wasn't sure who the prime clone who created him was, but there were many like him in her battalion. Vex knew Sin from the others by the scar that crossed his lip – from their very first training session together – as well as the unique lopsided smirk that tugged at the left side of his mouth.

Sin was one of the first ten clones given to Vex four years ago, and they'd immediately clicked. It was the first time Vex had ever been among people her own age, and while she'd formed a close bond with all of the clones from the first batch, her relationship with Sin had always been special. He was her best friend, but as they'd grown older, it had transformed into something else, too.

Vex wasn't entirely sure what love _really_ was, but she thought she just might love Sin.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**


	6. Chapter 6

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 6**

 _27 ABY – Mid Rim Territories_

Vex was woken from a deep sleep by the shrill, insistent beeping of her commlink. She scrambled over to the side, snatching it off the nightstand to answer it. "Yes?" she breathed.

" _I have been calling for five minutes_!" Kylo Ren hissed over the link.

"I was sleeping. What is it?" Vex questioned, swinging her legs out of the bed. The linens of the bed whispered behind her, and Sin's fingers brushed against her back. She glanced back, finding his gaze fixed on her – sleepy, but concerned.

" _The Supreme Leader has summoned you to the throne room. He is growing impatient, Vex,_ " Kylo Ren growled.

"I'm coming," she said, standing swiftly and making her way to her dresser to get dressed.

" _Hurry. He is not in a forgiving mood,_ " he warned, terminating the link. Vex swore under her breath, hurriedly tugging a long-sleeve shirt over her tank and slipping on her shoes.

"What is it? Can I come with you?" Sin asked, starting to sit up in bed.

"No!" Vex said instantly. "Snoke wants me. Stay here," she said, hurrying to the door.

"Be careful!" he called after her.

Vex left the room without looking back, all but running down the corridor towards the elevator. When she arrived in Snoke's throne room – her long, wavy hair still tumbling about her shoulders in disarray – everyone turned to look at her. Snoke, Kylo Ren, a bruised-looking rebel – hell, even the Praetorian guards' masks turned toward her.

Snoke made an impatient noise, holding his hand out to her. " _We've been waiting for you, my child_ ," he chided. Vex made her way over to him hastily.

"I'm sorry, Master. I was asleep – I must not have heard my commlink going off at first," she said in an apologetic tone. Snoke's large, scarred fingers closed tightly around her forearm, digging into her soft flesh.

Vex glanced up to find Kylo Ren's mask fixed on her, his gaze just as keen as the rebel's was. She looked away to hide the hint of a wince that crossed her features at Snoke's increasingly painful grip on her. "What did you need of me, Master?" Vex asked.

Snoke gestured to the rebel kneeling before them, battered and bloody. " _Kylo Ren has completed his interrogation of the rebel you captured today. Unfortunately, he was unable to tell us anything we didn't know_ ," he said. Vex remained silent, her question still unanswered. " _Tell her what the rebel asked of you, Kylo Ren_ ," Snoke ordered.

Vex turned to look at the masked man, her movement restricted by her master's grip on her arm. Kylo Ren stood just behind the rebel, hand just slightly outstretched. He was holding the rebel in place. "He had one request before his execution. To look upon the face of the woman who captured him," he said.

Her eyes flicked to the man. His eyes were bloodshot and full of pain, but they never left her. "Why?" Vex asked.

There was a moment of silence that followed. "Will she be the one to kill me?" the rebel asked, almost eagerly. Something inside of Vex cracked. There was a sharp pain somewhere down deep inside of her. She didn't know why. Breath rushed from her lungs as she turned to look at her master, expression creased with confusion.

" _Will you be his angel of death, Vex? Will you send him into oblivion with your face the last image burned behind his corneas?"_ Snoke asked. His expression was creased with something devious, something that promised pain.

"If it pleases you, Master," Vex said in an indifferent tone.

" _It does_ ," Snoke growled.

Without turning her gaze from Snoke's, Vex harshly gestured with her free hand. Behind her, the rebel collapsed to the ground, an audible crack coming from his neck. Broken. Snoke released her arm, but not without small pinpricks of pain left behind.

At first, a grin passed over Snoke's features, disappearing as quickly as it had come. His hand swung out, wrapping around her slender throat. The hold was tight, but didn't restrict her airway – yet. Vex remained motionless, all except for a fine tremble along her limbs. He traced a finger down her cheek. She let out a harsh breath.

" _You are a beautiful young woman, my child. I do not believe I ever noticed before_ ," he uttered, milky-eyed gaze examining her features. His grip on her throat slowly tightened with each word he spoke before abruptly letting go.

Snoke then threw out his hand, using the Force to cast her back through the air. She landed face down, knocking her teeth into her lip on impact. She slowly sat up, not far from where the rebel lay – at Kylo Ren's feet. He didn't move an inch.

 _"You will never wear a mask as Kylo Ren does, my child. You will leave your face bare to the world. Let the rebel scum you kill look upon the beauty of that face as a final kindness from the First order. Your beauty is the only mercy they will be offered,_ " Snoke said, seeming enamored with the idea.

That pain inside of Vex intensified, like a miasmic orb festering in her chest. Never the less, she spoke. "Yes, master," she said, blood spilling down her chin.

Snoke sighed. " _Kylo Ren, escort Vex back to her quarters_ ," he ordered.

"Yes, Master," he echoed. Vex slowly began to stand, only for Kylo Ren to roughly take hold of her arm to hoist her to her feet. She turned a surly look back at him as he all but dragged her out of the room.

Once out of Snoke's throne room, Vex jerked her arm out of his grasp to walk on her own. She reached the elevator first, and stepped in with Kylo Ren on her heels. All the while, she could feel his glare burning into her. Vex sighed, pressing the button for her level. "If you're going to just glare at me, just take that ridiculous mask off," she said.

After a moment, Kylo Ren took the mask off. His normally sulky expression had taken over his features. "Why is it," he pondered, "that when _you_ take a captive, Vex, that it becomes _my_ responsibility to interrogate him? Are you too weak to do this?"

Vex rolled her eyes at his attempt to assert himself as the strongest apprentice. "I left him to you because I knew he had no information to give us. I simply wanted to punish him for shooting me," she replied. He huffed out a breath.

"You've never interrogated someone. The Supreme Leader only uses you as an executioner," Kylo Ren pointed out.

Vex shrugged, turning slightly to face him. "It's more merciful to be the killer rather than torturer. At least I end their pain," she said.

"So you admit you do not have what it takes to be the apprentice the Supreme Leader desires," he growled.

Vex shook her head, a bitter grin crossing her lips for but a moment. Her hands curled into fists. "You can hide behind that mask all you want, Kylo Ren. You can hide from whatever atrocity Snoke has ordered you to do. Your victims only see a monster. I do not have that luxury. Soon enough, my face will be plastered throughout the galaxy, and I'll be known only as Snoke's executioner, just as you are his mad dog," she told him, her tone decidedly light.

The fury was beginning to filter into his expression. "You are a tool to him just like any other, Kylo Ren. Just like me," Vex pointed out, gesturing in his direction. "I warned you once, years ago. Whatever he's promised you, you'll never get it. He'll leave you wanting forever – until everyone in the galaxy is dead, and then he'll kill _you_ too,"

As the elevator doors opened, Vex stepped out. Kylo Ren was hot on her heels. "You don't know that!" he objected heatedly.

"After twelve years as his apprentice, I most assuredly do," Vex said, walking leisurely towards her quarters as if nothing bothered her.

"You speak of treason, Vex," Kylo Ren said in a warning tone.

Vex spun to face him, a light wave of her hand pushing him back against a wall. His helmet dropped to the floor. Her face contorted in a sneer. "I am _not_ here by choice, Ren! I was given to him as a child! And _you_ –" she hissed, fury coursing in her veins. "- you had parents that loved you! A Jedi to train you! And you threw it all away for an old man who will _never_ give you what you want! You _sicken_ me!"

The anger from his features had disappeared. Now, Kylo Ren seemed almost confused. "Then why do you not just leave?" he asked innocently.

Vex let out a bitter laugh. "Do you think he'd let me? I tried to run away many times when I was a child, Ren. I was caught every time and then tortured for my disobedience," she said, dropping her hand. Unfrozen, Kylo Ren stood straight, stepping away from the wall and towards her. His dark eyes were intently fixed on her.

"Snoke cannot be beaten or betrayed. I know that," Vex said.

"He would kill you if you tried," he said, looking at her carefully. Almost as if for the first time.

Vex nodded, her gaze fixed on the floor. "I want to live, Ren." she said. His head tilted, as if considering her.

"The Supreme Leader grows tired of our bickering. If we were to… make peace, he would be pleased." Kylo Ren said suddenly, as he bent to pluck his helmet from the floor where it had fallen.

Vex looked up in surprise. "Have we?" she asked. He gave a sharp nod. She gave a hesitant nod in reply. Flexing her hands, she started towards her quarters again without another word. He followed behind her silently. Watched as she punched in her code and went inside, closing the doors without another word.

When she turned around, Vex found Sin in the sitting area. His sandy hair was still mussed from sleep, as if he'd came from the bed to wait for her return. He jumped up the moment the doors had closed, crossing the room to pull her into his arms.

"Are you alright, Vex?" Sin asked in worry. He touched her face gently, wiping away a smear of blood.

"I'm fine," she said curtly, pulling away to head for the refresher. She turned the sink on, splashing her face with the cold water. Sin followed behind, expression no less concerned as Vex braced her hands on the counter, staring into the mirror.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We can't keep doing this, Sin." Vex said suddenly.

"What?"

Vex turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest. "If Snoke finds out about us, he'll kill you," she said.

Sin sighed, leaning against the doorjamb. "You think I don't know that?" he said tiredly.

"And that doesn't bother you?" Vex questioned.

"Vex, I was bred to follow orders and then die. With you, I get more than that." Sin said, approaching to run his hands up and down her arms.

Vex sighed, letting him enfold her in his arms. "We can never get married or have children, Sin. We'd always be stuck in stasis like this. Never moving forward," she pointed out.

"You don't know that, Vex. Maybe, one day –"

"-no." she interrupted. "I'm Snoke's property, Sin. If it isn't his machination, he'd never allow it. And if we were to take it upon ourselves…" Vex trailed off uncertainly. She looked up, catching his gaze. "…the punishment would be very unpleasant,"

Sin heaved another sigh, cradling her face in his hands as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I understand that you're afraid, Vex. But I'm not. If you don't want to do this anymore, I understand. But if your only reason is that you think you're gonna get me killed…" Sin said, exhaling loudly. "It'd be worth it, Vex. To have whatever time I get with you, it's worth it."

"Do you agree?" Sin asked as he rained kisses up and down her face.

"Yes," Vex answered quickly, her eyes falling shut as he began to press his lips along her jawline and down her neck. "But we have to be careful…"

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

 **In response to a review (thank you!), I thought I heard a line about the armies being mixed. Hux's army was regular children taken from their homes, but it sounded like there were still clone armies. Could be wrong, no big deal! Never the less, it's not really important to the plot. Thank you for your review again!**


	7. Chapter 7

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 7**

 _29 ABY – Core Planets_

It was official. Vex was known now as the Reaper, Snoke's executioner. People within the order called her the Lady of Mercy. It wasn't said as a compliment.

Vex and her battalion only left the Supremacy if there was someone that needed to die. Her Stormtroopers – nicknamed Killtroopers with their black and red armor, were just as notorious as her. People knew exactly who they were, who _she_ was, when they saw her troopers marching down the road.

At first, the civilians had come to aid the rebels when Vex and her battalion arrived. Not so much anymore, after a few years. They hid when they saw her Killtroopers now. Vex thought it was good. _Her_ troopers were the only ones who had their blasters permanently set to kill rather than stun.

The numbers had grown among them over time. After their first mission, Snoke had ordered their numbers doubled. Vex had split each of her five units into ten, and added ten fresh troopers to each unit. Over the past two years, she'd continued that practice each time more troopers were added to her battalion. She had five hundred now, under her command alone. Soon they'd have to leave the Supremacy, and take the _Vexation_ as their permanent battle station instead of simply their transportation. Vex couldn't wait.

Sin was still the commander of Unit Alpha, the unit that always accompanied Vex on their missions. He was the one she trusted most to watch her back. And she was there to watch his. In retrospect, they weren't being as careful as they should be. But keeping Sin close was too tempting.

Vex's relationship with Sin had been romantic for nearly three years now. She was nineteen now, and with Sin aging more quickly than her, he looked to be in his late twenties even though they were chronologically the same age. He spent most of his nights in Vex's quarters. And since each trooper had their own tiny set of quarters, no-one noticed.

In her quarters, they wasted no time. It was their own little world. They could pretend that they were normal, _almost_ , and that there wasn't a guillotine hanging over their heads. It was something Vex did her best not to think about.

* * *

Kylo Ren hadn't meant to barge in on Vex's quarters. Not like this. It's just that she didn't answer the door, and it was unlocked. Snoke still required them to train together when they both happened to be on the Supremacy. She was late, and he didn't feel like waiting. So he'd barged in.

What he found wasn't what he expected. He didn't know _what_ he expected, but it wasn't this.

Vex wasn't there. But a man was. Kylo Ren didn't recognize him, but the pile of Stormtrooper armor in the corner told him the man belonged to Vex's battalion. He'd caught him in the middle of coming out of the refresher, towel wrapped around his waist. He froze at the sight of Kylo Ren.

"What are you doing here?!" Kylo Ren demanded. He raised a hand, pinning the man in place using the Force. The man didn't answer at first, forcing Kylo Ren to use his powers to find them within his mind. "SN-2486," he spoke, closing his eyes as he searched the clone's mind. SN-2486 grunted, sweat beginning to bead on his brow.

Apparently Vex and her subordinate had a thriving romance. For a reason he couldn't identify, Kylo Ren felt agitated. "Get dressed," he growled, releasing the man from his hold.

SN-2486 quickly moved to do as asked, donning his clothes. "What are you going to do?" he asked boldly. Kylo Ren's hold on his mind still remained, telling him that the clone knew there was no hope for him. His worries were for Vex. "Please don't tell the Supreme Leader, Lord Ren. He'll kill Vex, and it's _my_ fault," SN-2486 pleaded.

Kylo Ren paced back and forth, fists clenching and unclenching. "Your uniform. Put it on!" he ordered.

SN-2486 complied. He stood before Kylo Ren in his full uniform. "Please. I love her," he said, words filtering through his mask.

Kylo Ren paused, turning to face him. "If you loved her, you would have left her alone!" he growled.

"There must be some way that she doesn't get hurt." SN-2486 said bravely.

Kylo Ren looked at him for a long moment before resuming his pacing throughout the room. "There is only way that Snoke does not find out. You go to reconditioning, and you and Vex never speak again," He said.

SN-2486 said nothing for a few long moments. Kylo Ren could feel his torment, his pain, swirling through the hold he held on his mind. "Do you swear not to tell the Supreme Leader? To keep Vex safe?" he asked finally. Kylo Ren nodded. "Swear it," SN-2486 pleaded.

"I swear." Kylo Ren obliged. The clone gave a short nod, acknowledging his agreement. His resignation. He felt a brief spark of respect for the clone that disappeared as quickly as it'd come. "I will send you to reconditioning. You must not reveal why. If you expect this to remain secret, you must let it be wiped from your mind," Kylo Ren said. The clone nodded again.

Kylo Ren went to the door and pressed the button to open it. He flagged down the first Stormtrooper patrol he saw. "SN-2486 must report to reconditioning. A memory wipe is required," he instructed, gesturing to the Stormtrooper behind him. The two others took custody of him – one taking his arm, the other pointing a blaster to his back.

"Reason for reconditioning?" one asked.

It was required. For each reconditioning, a reason must be input into the records. "He viewed messages and plans above his level. It is a matter of secrecy," Kylo Ren lied quickly.

"Acknowledged," the Stormtrooper said. The pair escorted SN-2486 away without another word. Kylo-Ren watched from the door until they disappeared.

Then he raised his commlink to his mouth and called Vex. After a few moments, she picked up. " _Hello,_ " her voice greeted, echoing eerily over the link.

"You were supposed to meet me to train," he said.

" _Shit, sorry! I was in the middle of an exercise with one of my newer units. I'll be right there!_ " Vex said.

"Something's come up. Meet me in your quarters," he requested.

There was a momentary pause in her reply. " _Yeah, okay_ _,"_ she said, and the link terminated. He hadn't thought it'd be that easy. Vex must have sensed the urgency, especially since she didn't ask any questions. On any other occasion, she would not have hesitated to question him until he was ready to murder someone.

Kylo Ren waited for her inside her quarters. He did not want to be seen loitering outside of them. It took nearly ten minutes, but Vex finally showed. Her expression was quizzical as she entered, stepping in carefully and looking around as if she expected an attack.

"What's going on?" Vex asked.

Kylo Ren took off his helmet, placing it on a nearby table. "I came to find you. You were late for our training," he said.

Vex's brows furrowed. "I'm sorry?"

"When I arrived," he continued, "SN-2486 was here. Unclothed."

Horror crossed Vex's face, along with multiple unidentified emotions. "Kylo-" she began.

"It was not difficult to deduce why. You were carrying on an illicit romance. For years." Kylo Ren continued, interrupting her. "You know Snoke would kill you for this," he pointed out.

Vex's hands clenched into fists. "What did you do, Kylo? Where's Sin?!" she demanded, crossing the room to check the refresher.

"I sent him to reconditioning," he answered.

Vex whirled to face him, face contorted in pain like he'd never seen before. She threw out an arm, her power freezing him in place, applying slight pressure to his throat. She still wanted him to be able to talk. " _Why_!?" she demanded, a single solitary tear escaping her eye. She wiped it away quickly.

"It was the only way to prevent Snoke from ever finding out. Your clone agreed with me."

Her hold on him hesitated, he could feel the waver in the Force. Her feet shifted, her expression turning to surprise. "Sin _agreed_ to reconditioning?" she asked, voice weak and tinny.

Kylo Ren nodded. "His mind would never have been strong enough to hold the secret of your affair if questioned. You should feel comfort in knowing that his only thoughts were of you and your safety."

Her tears began to fall faster now, her hold on him completely disappearing. Vex wiped at her eyes vigorously, as if trying to make it stop. The noises that escaped her mouth were of heartbreak.

Kylo Ren tentatively approached her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "He will live this way, Vex. And so will you," he said, in an awkward attempt to comfort her. He left the rest unsaid. She knew it as well as he. _But you can't be together_.

"Why?" Vex asked finally, looking up at him.

"Why what?" Kylo Ren said in return, gazing down at her. If he had to admit it, he did find her wide blue eyes and sharp features appealing.

"Why would you not tell Snoke? He would kill me and you would be his only apprentice, like you've always wanted," Vex questioned.

"I do not want that," Kylo Ren rumbled after a few moments. His hand awkwardly fell from her shoulder. He did not know what to do with himself. "If you were dead, I would be robbed of an ally," he added finally.

Vex's brows pulled lower, tears still escaping her eyes. "We have always been enemies, Kylo Ren," she said.

He sighed. "I do not think of you as my enemy."

"Since _when_?" Vex demanded.

"Since we made peace. When you told me I would always be nothing more than a tool to him." Kylo Ren remembered the moment vividly. It was the moment he began to think of Vex as something more than competition. She was someone very much like him that was in pain, just like him. She was wiser than him in some ways and more naïve in others. He'd felt an odd urge to protect her ever since.

Vex stared up at him for a long few moments. "Can you truly hide this from Snoke? Even when he pierces your mind?" she asked, seeming to accept the trust he'd given her.

Kylo Ren hesitated. "You have. For years." He pointed out.

"It is not easy," Vex said.

"But you can teach me," Kylo Ren replied quickly.

Vex took another moment to answer, her piercing blue eyes seeming to burn into him. "Yes," she promised.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**


	8. Chapter 8

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 8**

 _29 ABY – Core Planets_

Her world was nothing but grief now. Grief and darkness. For a brief time, there'd been a spot of light. It'd been Sin. The day after his reconditioning, Sin had reported back to his unit. When he'd looked at her, there'd been no recognition there. A swift peek into his mind told her that she'd been wiped away from his mind. All that was left was the acknowledgment of her as his commander. His original programming. Vex couldn't take looking at him. Not when he didn't know her.

She reassigned him to a different unit. Some of her other troopers noticed the change, but with her grief swimming just below the surface so obviously, they said nothing. Vex was grateful.

In less than two weeks, all the messy ends of her affair with Sin had been tied up in a pretty bow. After a mission, Vex had been reading the reports. She saw SN-2846 at the bottom of a casualty list. A rebel had thrown a frag grenade into his unit. Sin and three others were killed.

Now Sin was truly forever gone. Before, Vex had been able to take solace in the fact that he was able to take solace in the fact that he was safer away from her side. The very first mission away from her, and he was killed.

Vex was no stranger to death. But the death of someone she loved? It was her first. It was a wound she hadn't expected to be dealt. One that her cut her to the quick, and left her open and bleeding. She wallowed in her grief, only functioning when she was forced to.

Her battalion was well-trained enough that they could run exercises alone now, leaving Vex idle until a mission was assigned to her. Then, and only then, Vex rose and acted as the Reaper, slaughtering those Snoke deemed.

She'd only been on two missions in the month since Sin died, taking no more than a day each time. She hadn't seen Snoke in a while, and she wasn't about to question her good luck. No Kylo Ren, either. Vex had taught him how to shield his mind from Snoke within a few hours, or at least, how to lock certain secrets away while letting other things be seen. After that, he'd been gone on several back to back missions.

As foolish as it seemed, he was the only friend she had left now. If you'd told Vex a few years ago that she'd consider Kylo Ren her friend, she would have laughed herself silly. But now? He was all she had, even though they barely spoke. He'd contacted her twice over the commlink in the month he'd been gone. Both conversations had been brief and stilted, as if neither of them knew how to talk to the other.

It was true for Vex. She'd spent so long hating him that she didn't know how to talk to him anymore. Their relationship had been full of tension since the moment they'd met, and that was still true – but it was a different kind of tension now. Before, it'd been the kind of tension where she'd been ready to strike out, hurt him. Now, it was different, and Vex didn't know how to describe it. There was an anticipation building in her belly when she thought of Kylo Ren, but anticipation of _what_?

!

For the first time in more than a month, Vex had been called to Snoke's throne room. She didn't know if that was an indication of something bad or good. She took a few moments to ensure she was dressed properly – smoothing out her clothing to get rid of any wrinkles, re-braiding her hair carefully.

Then, Vex had gone. Part of her wondered if it was her death march. For a moment, as she had many times over the years, Vex hoped it was. Perhaps Snoke would finally kill her, after a long and drawn out session of torture.

Vex was unafraid of pain, not if it led to the bliss and oblivion of death. But countless miserable years serving as Snoke's minion? _That_ was something she feared.

When she entered the throne room, her eyes immediately found Kylo Ren kneeling before Snoke's throne. Vex hadn't known he was back. He did not look up when she entered. Snoke's gaze settled on her, his misshapen face split by a nefarious grin. Vex did not hesitate to fall to her knees beside Kylo Ren.

"Master," she greeted carefully.

" _It has been a long time since we have been together, my child_ ," Snoke said.

"I hope I have done nothing to disappoint you, Master," Vex said, brows creasing in confusion.

Snoke shook his head. Her shoulders slumped in relief. Or was it disappointment? " _I have noticed a change in you over the last few years, Vex. You've softened,_ " he pointed out.

"I don't understand," she said.

" _There is love in your heart_. _In both your hearts,"_ Snoke said, almost pensively, as if he were confused by it. Kylo Ren's head snapped up, still covered by the mask. He braced his arms on his throne before standing, taking a few steps to approach the pair. Vex stiffened.

Snoke paced around them, arms folded behind his back. " _I noticed, of course, that my two apprentices no longer warred. I thought to myself, good. Finally, they have accepted each other. But over the last few years, it's escalated. I've felt your heart begin to soften, Vex, and fill with something other than the anger and pain I've fed it,_ " he speculated. " _And you, Kylo Ren, have turned from your anger to curiosity. Do not deny it_ ," Snoke hissed.

"I don't understand," Vex said again, frustration filtering into her voice.

Snoke paused in front of her. She flinched as he cradled her face in between his hands in a mocking gentleness. " _Of course not, my child. What would you know of love? Perhaps it is simply nature,"_ he surmised. " _But you, Kylo Ren. You have been loved. You know its allure_ ,"

"We have done nothing, Supreme Leader," Kylo Ren said stiffly.

A menacing chuckle escaped Snoke's lips. " _Oh, I'm very aware of that,"_ he said. " _I have taken time to consider what to do with this information. Where I have failed in training you. But then, I wondered if this development could benefit the First Order,_ " Snoke suggested.

His pacing resumed, releasing Vex's face from his grip. _"We must think of the future, my apprentices. When I am gone, when you are gone, who will lead the First Order? We must carry on the ideals I have passed down to you. Who better than the child of two of the most powerful bloodlines in the galaxy?"_ Snoke said.

A look of alarm passed between Vex and Kylo Ren. " _Kylo Ren, descended of the Skywalker line. Your grandfather, Darth Vader, was conceived by the Force itself. Vex Valorum, your family has a long history of politicians as well as Force-users. The product of your union would assuredly be a force to be reckoned with,_ " Snoke continued, finally settling back on his throne.

"Master?" Vex asked in a trembling voice.

Snoke's gaze settled on her, piercing her mind swiftly in a psychic attack. Vex cried out, crumpling to the floor as pain began to burn along every nerve of her mind. Kylo Ren began to stand, but found himself frozen. Snoke began to laugh. " _I can feel your urge to protect her, Kylo Ren. Your partner,_ " he snarled.

"Master," Kylo Ren began, unsure what to say amidst Vex's cries of pain.

" _Will you do as I order, Kylo Ren?"_ Snoke growled. He swiftly nodded, and Vex was released from the torment. She slowly dragged herself back up to her knees. " _Together you will produce a child. You will not leave your quarters until Vex is with child,"_ he ordered.

"If we cannot?" Vex asked, voice hoarse.

Snoke leaned forward, expression shifting into something of rage. " _You will,_ " he snarled. " _Go now,"_ he ordered.

" _Kylo Ren, help your **beloved**_ ," Snoke said as his elder apprentice stood. Kylo Ren held out his hand to Vex. After a moment of hesitation, she took it, allowing him to lift her to her feet.

In silence, he escorted her out of the throne room, hand tight around hers. " _There will be no leaving your quarters for either of you until a child is conceived. No matter how long it takes_ ," Snoke called as they left.

Kylo Ren and Vex did not slow down until they reached the elevator. "Your quarters or mine?" he asked gruffly.

Vex did not answer at first, lost in the chaos and horror of the situation. It was a squeeze of her hand from his that brought her back. "Mine. Please," she said. He acknowledged it with a dip of his head, pushing the button for her floor.

They rode the elevator in silence, walked down the corridor to Vex's quarters and entered, all the while still holding hands. Vex collapsed into one of the chairs, covering her face with her hands. "Is there any way out of this?" she asked helplessly.

Kylo Ren sucked in a deep breath, removing his helmet and placing it on one of the tables. "I don't think so," he admitted.

"He wants us to have a child so he can torture it as he does us, Kylo," Vex said, lifting her head to look at him.

His hands clenched into fists, and then slowly forced them to relax. Finger by finger, he removed the gloves covering his hands. "Our child will know love as we never did." Kylo Ren said, sitting down opposite her.

Vex stared up at him. His eyes were earnest. She sensed no deceit. "Who says we'll ever see that child after it's born? Who says Snoke will let us see it?" she asked. "You heard him, Kylo. He wants only anger and pain in our hearts. It makes us easier to control! He will do the same to this child,"

Kylo Ren winced, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "We don't have a choice here, Vex," he reminded her. Vex slumped back, sighing. "Trust me, please," he held out his hand out to her. Vex took it, looking uncertain, their bare skin touching for the first time.

"Do we start now?" Vex asked awkwardly. Kylo Ren hesitated for a moment before nodding. Vex sighed again before standing, pulling him along with her. She led him into the bedroom without another word.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

 **Chapter feels sort of awkward, but it's supposed to be. Kylo Ren and Vex aren't lovers, they're barely friends. They barely know each other at this point.**


	9. Chapter 9

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 9**

 _30 ABY – Near Corellia_

Despite their burgeoning friendship, Vex and Kylo Ren have never spent much time together. But now they'd been shoved together into one set of quarters they were not allowed to leave. They were expected to produce a child.

And after weeks, it was _awkward_. It wasn't exactly the physical part that made it so weird. It was literally _everything_ else.

Should they kiss? Should he hold her after sex? Before it? Should they sleep together in the bed? Did they need space?

Tension was only building between them. They _were_ stuffed together in her admittedly small chambers with nothing to do besides copulate. For some people, that might be heaven. But for Kylo Ren and Vex, they had the expectation of producing a child hanging over their head.

It's been weeks, and _nothing_. They were both losing their temper with each other, and beyond intercourse, they interacted little. Kylo Ren had taken to reading the few books loaded on one of her datapads, over and over, while Vex had begun to tinker with the parts of her demolished nanny droid.

Vex was beginning to wonder if they would ever conceive. No doubt Snoke was becoming impatient. More than a month gone by, and nothing happened. She and Kylo Ren were stir-crazy from their semi-imprisonment.

Finally, Vex had decided to turn to the Force. She settled on the floor before her bed, crossing her legs and setting her elbows on her knees. She drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes. She reached out, her spirit mingling with the Force.

It wasn't even a moment before she was interrupted. "What are you doing?" Kylo Ren questioned, ruining her focus.

Vex let out a frustrated breath. "I _was_ trying to meditate. Let the Force guide me," she said, trying to dive back in.

"You think that will help us?" he asked skeptically, running a hand through his hair.

Vex sighed, rolling her eyes. He stood ominously before her, looking cynical. "Well, we've tried everything else." She patted the space before her. Kylo Ren looked down at her for a few moments, apparently measuring the odds, before he sat down before her on the floor, mirroring her position. "Maybe together, the Force will show us the way," Vex suggested, holding out her hands.

Kylo Ren heaved a sigh, placing his hands in hers. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. He followed suit. Both reached out, seeking the Force that moved around and through them. _Show us the way_ , Vex called. Kylo Ren stiffened in surprise, hearing her call.

At first, the Force simply swirled around them, leaving the question hanging between them unanswered. Then suddenly the flow of it changed; churning around them in almost agitation. Behind the closed lids of their eyes, colors and images began to appear, showing them the way.

 _We must join in spirit_ , Kylo Ren thought. Vex squeezed his hands. They turned their focus from the Force to each other. _You must lower your walls_ , he called to her. Vex drew in a deep breath. It was easier said than done – she had lived so long with the walls of her mind impenetrable to all but Snoke – the logistics of doing it were alien to her.

Vex visualized the wall in her mind. Instead of bringing them down, she instead created a door. _The door_ , she whispered to him. At once, Kylo Ren reached out to it. Vex flinched, the sensation different, but not unlike how it felt for Snoke to invade her mind. She felt Kylo Ren everywhere, seeking to understand her. His hands tightened on hers. _Let me see you_ , Vex called.

All at once, she felt his presence recede from her mind. She followed, seeking his own mind out. He took her idea, fitting a door into the walls of his mind. Vex was gentler when she opened the door, feeling him stiffen under her hands. Once inside, she could feel his yearning even more powerfully.

Kylo Ren longed for what everyone did. Understanding. Family. Love. She felt the reservoir of pain and anger lingering just beneath his overlying desires. She could feel his disappointment and resentment over past hurts, festering like an infection. She saw how he resented his mother and father, how he'd been betrayed by his uncle.

Vex felt sorrow and empathy for him as she looked upon what had led him here, to Snoke. How the old man had been torturing Kylo Ren from within his mind for years before he'd lured him to the First Order. His life has been pain just as hers has. _We can share our pain and become stronger_ , she called as she withdrew from his mind.

Their eyes snapped open in the same moment, hands still entwined. Kylo Ren's gaze was dark with yearning, a fine tremble running up his jaw. His lips pursed almost as if he wanted to swallow the words before they came.

Vex saved him from having to. She leaned forward, pressing her lips to his for the first time. In the weeks they've been trying to conceive, not once have they kissed. It was too personal. But not after they'd bridged their minds.

At first, he held her hands tighter. But when their lips parted, Vex gently moved her hands to hold his face, fingers tangling in his hair. Kylo Ren was looking at her with something akin to wonder when she kissed him again, his lips finally moving to respond to hers.

His arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer to the warmth of his broad body. There was an electricity to them now, where it had been utterly absent before. Vex felt burning hot, unable to tear her lips from his for but a moment to catch their breath when absolutely necessarily. One hand stayed entangled in his hair, but the other began to swiftly move down his body.

Suddenly she was airborne, as Kylo Ren stood and carried her the short distance to the bed. He dropped her down on top of it, his hands leaving her as he urgently began to take off his clothes. Vex took very little time to decide to do the same, tugging her shirt over her head and tossing it aside before starting to work on the band covering her breasts.

In very little time, he stood bare before her, reaching to replace her hands with his own. It was the first time their intercourse had been consumed with anything but duty – now it was _hunger_. Kylo Ren made swift work of the pesky band around her chest, and then the leggings covering her lower half. Then he paused, looking almost unsure.

Vex sat up, reaching her arms out to him. He leaned closer and she wrapped both arms around his upper body, dragging his sweet mouth to hers, fervently set on devouring it. Kylo Ren's hands began to explore her body, touching her breasts and painting searing red lines of desire down her body with his fingers.

It wasn't long before he was inside her, taking control and driving her swiftly towards completion. Vex wrapped her arms around him, panting and crying out each time he drove against her sweet spot, and his fingers stroked the bundle of nerves just above where their bodies had joined.

"Vex," he growled, his ministrations speeding up as his release approached. "Look at me," he ordered, fingers tracing along her jaw.

With some effort, Vex pried her eyes open to find his fixed upon her, heavy and warm and intense as he drove her towards her relief. Her climax found her suddenly, stars bursting behind her eyes as she cried his name, "Kylo!"

He followed quickly after, spending himself inside her. Kylo Ren's heavy body went limp atop her as he recovered, breathing harshly. Vex tightened her arms around his middle, her breath coming out just as quick. He pressed soft kisses to her neck before rolling off to the side. His muscular arms quickly wrapped around her, keeping her pressed against him.

" _Wow_ ," she murmured, looking up at him, chin pressed to his chest.

Kylo Ren nodded in agreement, exhaling heavily. He stroked his fingers lightly up and down her back, lulling her towards sleep. "Did you mean what you said?" he asked suddenly.

Vex cracked one eye open, looking back up to him. "What?" she asked.

"About sharing our pain. Becoming stronger." Kylo Ren said.

Vex nodded. "I don't know how," she admitted, reaching up to trace a finger along his lips. "But I will," she promised, tapping a finger to his lips, which curved up in the tiniest of smiles. Vex couldn't help but return it, laying her head back against his chest. His arms squeezed her just a little bit tighter.

/

Kylo Ren woke from a deep, peaceful sleep to the alarm chime of the door, signaling there was someone on the other side. Probably to deliver breakfast. But he didn't want to get up – he was _so_ comfortable. Something, or _someone_ , soft and warm nestled into his side.

He cracked open one eye, finding Vex curled up against him, burgundy locks spread over his arm. Her little breaths were calm, warm air brushing his chest. She was still asleep, and he wasn't going to disturb her.

He closed his eyes again, knowing the person outside would enter and leave the food on the table in the other room even if he didn't get up. Kylo Ren focused on the door to the bedroom, using his power to slide it shut.

Then he turned onto his side, burying his nose in Vex's wild, fragrant hair; holding her closer. The Force inside him, his spirit, sought to mingle with hers. So he reached out, the Force around them circling almost like a protective bubble. He could feel Vex's spirit, quiet and peaceful, despite the darkness that Snoke had inflicted upon her. But there was something _else_.

Kylo Ren's brows furrowed, focusing on that little seed of _otherness_ that he felt within their bond. His eyes shot open and he pulled away, looking over Vex carefully. The little seed was clean and new. It had _not_ been there yesterday. That little seed had taken root in Vex's womb.

 _Vex was pregnant._

* * *

 **Review, Please.**


	10. Chapter 10

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 10**

 _30 ABY – Dustig System_

 **3 Months Later**.

Vex sat on the floor of her quarters, elbow-deep in a pile of droid parts. They belonged to the nanny droid that Vex had demolished when she was ten. As soon as she'd received her lightsaber, she'd destroyed the droid that had zapped her for punishment. Its remains had been shuffled in the corner of her bedroom since.

She'd been tinkering with them since she'd been restricted to her rooms with Kylo Ren. She'd carried on since. Once they'd discovered she was pregnant, Kylo was allowed to leave. Vex wasn't. In the interest of protecting the child, she was not to leave her quarters unless she was going to sick bay or to Snoke's throne room. Even then, she was only allowed to leave with guarded escort.

Vex hadn't seen Snoke since her pregnancy began, and her doctor appointments were weekly – but beyond that, Vex was left alone, to her own devices. So she had decided to try and build a droid of her own.

Kylo Ren was the only one that came to see her. It wasn't often. He was constantly sent off on missions, probably carrying out the missions that would have been hers. When he was on the _Supremacy_ , Kylo would come and spend time with her, take down a list of whatever parts she needed for her project. It was all she had to look forward to.

Their relationship had progressed since that night. Before, there was only an uneasy truce between them – and a tenuous trust. Now, there was _something_ between them. What exactly, she didn't know how to name. It wasn't soft or kind, but it was warm, tender, and utterly confusing. The Force that linked them was powerful, often making her feel dizzy in the midst of a moment between them.

Vex slowly stood from where she'd sat in her pile of droid parts, smoothing a hand over her belly, where it was beginning to protrude. The nausea had just begun to pass, and now her appetite was beginning to return full-force. She plucked up her commlink, requesting food to be sent to her room. She stepped into the other room, sitting down in one of the cushy chairs to relax. She picked up the datapad on the table before her, bringing up one of the manuals on droid construction.

Her commlink chirped. Vex pressed the button to answer it. "Hello," she greeted, not taking her eyes from the datapad.

" _Vex,_ " Kylo Ren purred.

Vex straightened in her seat. "Kylo-" she began, laying the datapad to the side – "Will you be back soon?" she asked hopefully.

" _Late tonight. I will have to report to the Supreme Leader before coming to you. Don't wait up for me,_ " he answered.

Vex sighed. "Alright," she acknowledged.

" _What are you doing?_ " Kylo Ren asked. " _Working on the droid?"_

"Mm, just took a break. Waiting for food to arrive," she said.

 _"The nausea's gone? Appetite's returning?"_ he said.

"With a vengeance. Every three hours, like clockwork, I'm _starving_ ," Vex told him.

" _That's good, isn't it_?" Kylo asked.

She made a thoughtful noise. "Means the baby's growing, I guess,"

" _Good_ ," he said. Despite Kylo's reserved tone, Vex knew firsthand how excited he was about the baby. How much he wanted it. He didn't show it in words, more in gestures. He called her every day he was away over the commlink, making sure she was feeling well. When he was with her, he touched her often, his hand smoothing along the curve of her belly.

Vex didn't share his excitement. It wasn't because she didn't want the baby. Something innocent and kind to love and be loved in return? Vex _wanted_ that. But she knew Snoke didn't want this child just as his heir. He wanted to twist it as he had Vex and Kylo Ren, make it a being of pain and anger. Vex didn't want that for anyone, much less her child.

"I'll see you soon?" Vex said as the door alarm chime went off. "Oh, the food's here!" she said, popping up from her seat.

" _I'll leave you to it. Soon._ " Kylo promised.

"Soon." Vex returned, before ending the call. She went to the door and accepted a plate of food before returning to her perch. She ate leisurely as she read through the document on her datapad, planning her next step in constructing her droid.

Her commlink chirped again. Without looking away from her datapad, she picked it up again and answered it. "Yes?"

 _"The Supreme Leader has summoned you to his throne room immediately_."

"Alright, I'm coming" she said, setting the commlink back down again. She stood, brushing off her clothing of any crumbs. Vex stepped out the door, finding two Stormtroopers posted outside. "I'm to see the Supreme Leader," she said, pausing for them to fall into step with her.

She made her way there quickly, not allowing herself to think of what Snoke wanted from her. She hadn't seen him since the announcement of her pregnancy. Whatever he wanted, it was sure not to be good.

Vex was hesitant, stepping into her master's throne room. A smile crossed his gruesome face, his long arms gesturing her over. " _Come here, my child_ ," Snoke called.

She went to him, one hand pressing over her stomach as if to protect it. It was a useless gesture. Vex knew if Snoke wanted to hurt her or the baby, she wouldn't be able to stop him. "What is it, Master?" she asked.

Snoke took hold of her wrist, towing her closer. His large hand batted her hand away from her stomach, replacing it with his. " _I wish to examine the child_." Snoke said.

"For what?" Vex asked in confusion. She couldn't help the fear that had begun to thrum through her, starting as a tremble in her arms.

Snoke ignored her, his brow furrowing. Suddenly, Vex could feel fluttering from deep inside her womb. She'd felt it before, but it'd been different then. This time it was wild, almost agitated – churning Vex's insides. Whatever Snoke was doing, it was hurting the baby. "Master!" she cried out in fright.

Snoke drew back suddenly, face creased in confusion and anger. " _The child is not force-sensitive_ ," he said in disbelief.

" _What_?" Vex questioned. "How can you be sure, Master? It hasn't been born yet!" she argued. She tried to put distance between them, but Snoke's grip on her wrist held her fast.

" _If the Force is in a child, it is there from **conception**. I waited three months to be sure, Vex. This child will **not**_ _be my heir,_ " Snoke said forcefully, spittle flying from his lips. Vex flinched away, trying in vain to tug her wrist away from his grip. " _I will **not** wait for this **waste**_ _to be born, Vex. You and Kylo Ren will try again_ ," he ordered

 _"What?"_ Vex asked in alarm as his free hand reached towards her, slowly closing into a fist. She cried out as pain surged through her middle, falling to her knees. The pain quickly intensified and something inside her _burst_ , something warm and wet and thick beginning to trickle between her legs.

Snoke drew his hand back, staring down at her. Even though he'd stopped, the pain only grew. Soon black began to ring Vex's vision as she slumped to the floor. " _There. It's gone, and you will be free to try again soon_ ," his voice followed hauntingly into the darkness of oblivion.

/

 **Somewhere not too far away.**

Kylo Ren stiffened as if lightning had struck him. _Something was wrong_. He didn't know what. Didn't know how. But the sense of overwhelming worry overtook him. He tried Vex's commlink and received no answer. It didn't mean much – Vex often laid the device down absentmindedly and walked away. But something felt wrong.

"How long until we reach the _Supremacy_?" he questioned as he arrived in the ship's bridge.

Hux turned to face him, his pale and pointy face sneering. "Thirty minutes, maybe less." He answered.

"Make it faster." Kylo ordered, facing one of the windows.

/

Kylo Ren swept into Snoke's throne room, dropping to one knee. He wanted to get this over with, so he could get to Vex and make sure she was alright. He could feel her presence on the ship, but it was diluted. Weak.

" _Your report, Lord Ren?"_ Snoke said.

"We swept through the suspected rebel base on Centares. It was uninhabited. Whatever messages we intercepted from it must have been from someone passing through, gone before our arrival," Kylo Ren explained.

" _You're certain_?" Snoke questioned.

Kylo nodded. "Yes, Master. Everything inside the base was covered in dust. It did not look as if it'd been disturbed," he said, beginning to stand.

Snoke nodded. _"Disappointing…"_ he murmured, tracing spidery fingers across his chin. " _Before you go, I'm afraid I have distressing news,"_ Snoke said.

Kylo Ren paused mid-motion, dropping back down to his knees. "Master?" he asked, taking off his helmet.

Snoke sighed. " _Vex has miscarried. She's in sick bay,_ " he said in a regretful tone.

Kylo Ren jolted to his feet, alarm crossing his feature. "Is she alright?" he asked, worry entering his voice.

Snoke nodded. " _She will be fine. You may go see her now, Ren,_ " Kylo Ren instantly turned on his heel to leave, his long strides carrying him to the doors within seconds. " _You must try again as soon as possible,_ " Snoke called after him.

Try again? That was a thought Kylo Ren couldn't bear to entertain. He could barely comprehend the fact that their child was gone. He swept through the corridors of the ship, his expression thunderous. No one would dare cross him now.

Kylo Ren marched into sick bay, features still stony. "Where is she?" he growled at the first doctor he saw. The doctor stuttered out a fearful answer. Kylo never broke his stride, following the directions.

He found Vex at the far end of sick bay, partitioned off for privacy. He slipped in, standing at the foot of the bed. He stared down at her, hands clenching into fists.

Vex lay unconscious in the bed, looking pale and small tucked underneath the dark blankets. She was utterly still and quiet, entirely unlike her. Kylo knew now that when Vex slept, she shifted and moved, sighed and whimpered in her sleep.

He pulled the chair from against the wall to the bed, sitting down to be near her. He lay a hand on her forehead – she was clammy and cold. Beneath that, Kylo could feel her spirit, still there but weakened. He moved his hand to lay atop her belly. He closed his eyes and reached out.

Where there used to be a bright, shining beacon of light inside her womb, there was nothing now. The baby was gone. Kylo withdrew his hand, curling forward and covering his face.

It was hours before she woke. The moment she saw Kylo sitting beside her, she began to cry. He quickly moved to circle his arms around her shoulders, her head resting against his shoulder. "Kylo – the baby –" Vex began, between wracking sobs.

"I know," he tried to soothe, pressing his lips to the side of her forehead. "You miscarried,"

Vex shook her head wildly. "No," she cried. "Snoke killed the baby – _crushed_ it inside of me!"

Kylo looked down at her in disbelief. " _What?_ Why?!" he questioned, pulling away to look at her.

Vex sniffled for a moment, trying to find her voice. "He said… he said the baby wasn't force-sensitive," she cried. He tightened his arms around her to pull her close.

"I'm sorry," Kylo said, at a loss of what else there was to say. Vex didn't reply. She continued to cry, holding onto him tightly. He returned the embrace, a few tears escaping as he pressed his face into her hair.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

 **Thoughts? I know we're moving sort of fast - but this is sort of background for Vex. Once we get to the Force Awakens time, more action/more chapters.**


	11. Chapter 11

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 11**

 _31 ABY – Anoat System_

Every time Vex thought her life couldn't get any worse, she was wrong. You'd think, after a certain point, whoever, _whatever_ , was pulling the strings of fate would think – _that's enough_ , that's beyond what one person can endure. But they didn't.

Vex had begun to wish she could die when she was twelve. At twenty-one, those feelings had only intensified.

Two more babies had come and gone. Each time, Snoke had waited until she was three months along before calling her to the throne room and examining the baby inside her. And killing it when he judged it powerless.

Kylo Ren was only around for part of the time. He was kept at Vex's side until she was pregnant again, and then sent away. Snoke made sure he was always away at the three-month mark. Perhaps Snoke didn't want to test what Kylo would do if he was there at the same time that Snoke murdered their child.

In a year and a half, Vex and Kylo had lost three babies to Snoke. Their relationship had bloomed and consequently began to wither. After all, how much loss could one couple take? They had no freedom, no autonomy over their own lives.

All that held them together was the loss and pain they'd shared. With every baby she lost, Vex felt herself turn from Kylo more and more. He blindly followed Snoke's every directive, even when Vex _knew_ he shared the same pain and reservations she did.

Vex had no choice but to follow the orders Snoke gave. She was a prisoner in her own quarters. She was nothing more than a broodmare now, and the thought of becoming pregnant again made her ill.

It'd been a week since her last baby had been murdered. She'd refused to let Kylo touch her since. Against all odds, he wanted to do his duty. He wasn't unkind to her – he still thought himself in love with her. Vex was the one that had turned.

She wanted to leave, she wanted it to all be over. Vex was backed into a corner – and her instinct was to flee. One way or another.

The only reason she hadn't completely gone mad was her droid project. It was almost complete. The droid was a BB unit customized with caretaking protocols and parts. Vex had given it female programming, naming it EV-9. She'd begun to master binary with EV's head chirping at her as she put the finishing touches on its body.

"Is that so?" Vex said in response to the droid. "What colors were you thinking? I'm open to suggestion,"

EV replied with a series of tweets and chirps.

"Blue and silver? Sounds good to me," Vex said. The droid responded with joyous chirps. "I'll have to send you to an engineer for that part. I doubt I'd do very well painting you myself,"

EV-9 chirped. Vex spun to look at the droid, letting out a scoff.

"That was downright rude, EV!" Vex scolded. "I'll remember that," she warned.

EV let out a long tweet as Kylo Ren's heavy footsteps entered the room. Vex glanced back, smile falling from her lips. "Take a break, Vex. Lunch just came," he said.

Vex sighed, setting her tool down. Without a word, she followed him into the other room. "EV-9 seems nearly complete. You've done well," Kylo said.

"Thanks," Vex said curtly, sitting down on one of the couches in front of the food. She plucked a fruit from the tray, biting into the juicy skin.

Kylo sat beside her, hesitance in every movement. He knew what they needed to do. Vex was refusing – and all he could do was hide this from Snoke. He understood her pain, her depression.

It was different for her. It was _her_ body that grew the child, expelled it after Snoke had killed them. Then she had to recover from that blinding pain only to do it again.

Kylo didn't know what to do. If Vex continued to refuse to do what Snoke had ordered, he'd kill her. He couldn't let that happen. He gnawed on a fruit, determinedly eyeing Vex beside him as she ate.

After a while, she sighed, shoulders slumping. "Just say it, Kylo, I know you want to," she said, putting down the half-eaten fruit.

Kylo sighed, doing the same. "We have to try again, Vex. I know why you're so against it, and I get it, I'm sorry, but we _have_ to,"

Vex simply stared ahead of her for a few minutes before abruptly bursting into tears. Kylo immediately moved to put an arm around her even as she bowed forward as if to fend him off.

"I'm sorry," he said again, leaning forward to press his nose into her fragrant hair.

"He'll only kill the next baby," Vex said between sobs, allowing Kylo to pull her closer.

"I'm sorry," Kylo repeated again. "But he'll kill us both if we don't,"

"I'd rather be dead then," she cried, body going limp in his arms.

This didn't surprise Kylo. But it did make him feel sick to his stomach at the thought. He pulled her closer, pressing desperate kisses to her hair. "No, Vex. _No_ ,"

* * *

 **Review, Please.**


	12. Chapter 12

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 12**

 _31 ABY – Outer Rim Territories_

Despite all her protests and wishes, Vex wasn't dead. In fact, she was pregnant. Kylo was hovering over her at all moments, suffocating her with his care. His fears were well-founded. Vex's hysterical but justifiable feelings of dread and fear had followed her into the pregnancy.

This time, Kylo had convinced Snoke to allow him to stay close. He'd told the old man that Vex was not well enough to be left alone, that her hormones were running wild. It was a miracle that Snoke had allowed this, rather than simply assigning someone to watch Vex and sending Kylo on his way.

Apparently, they all thought her mad, unbalanced. _Whatever_ , Vex would take advantage of this. She wasn't going to lose this baby. Not to Snoke. Not to _anyone_.

Vex was plotting her escape.

EV-9 was finally complete, rolling around at Vex's feet like a loyal friend. They'd been plotting the best way off the ship for weeks, as long as she'd been pregnant.

She knew her personal ship had been shifted from the _Vexation_ since the larger ship was being repaired, putting the smaller craft in easier reach. She needed it to be stocked with fuel and food before she could go anywhere.

All of this was made very difficult by the fact that Vex was not allowed to leave her quarters unescorted. Kylo could do it. She knew this – he struck fear into the hearts and minds of just about everyone in the First Order. No one would question him for fear of his temper being turned onto them.

But she couldn't tell him. Kylo would never let her. He cared too much and he was selfish. Not to mention the fact that he would be severely punished for helping her escape. Vex didn't want that for him. So he couldn't know.

But, of course, he _would_ walk right in as Vex whispered feverishly to EV-9 of their plans of escape. "Vex?" Kylo had asked, voice going high with alarm.

"Kylo," she sighed, getting to her feet.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, slamming his helmet down on a table. "Tell me you're not really thinking of escape, Vex. Tell me you're not that stupid!" Kylo said lowly, anger filling his expression.

"I know it's a long shot, Kylo, I know that. But I'm not going to stay and let Snoke kill another of our babies!" Vex shot back.

Kylo turned away, dragging a hand down his face. "I can't let you do this, Vex! If Snoke finds out, or you're caught… you no longer have the excuse of being a child," he warned.

Vex sighed, crossing the room to takes his hand in hers. He stilled, grasping it tightly. She moved in close, lifting on her toes to press her lips to his. He lingered eagerly in their kiss, free hand entwining in the hair behind her neck. She rested her forehead to his, fingers tracing along his jaw.

"Kylo, the only hope our child has to survive is getting away. If I don't leave, Snoke will kill it, and every time he does, a little piece of me dies too," Vex murmured.

"It kills me too," Kylo said softly in return.

Vex took his hand, guiding it down to her still flat belly. His hand pressed against her, his eyes closing. She knew he sought to feel the child growing within her. "If our child has any chance of living – of being born – I have to escape," she said.

"We'd never see each other again," Kylo said mournfully.

It was never a question of them escaping together. _That_ was impossible. From afar, it was possible for Kylo Ren to protect Vex from being found. If they both escaped, there would be nothing to stop Snoke from hunting them down.

"This baby is more important," she insisted, cradling his face in her hands. "Kylo, I will die before I let Snoke near another of our babies," she warned, voice low and serious.

His eyes found hers, wounded and dripping tears. "What choice have you left me?" Kylo said, in a heartbroken tone.

Vex let out a cry of relief, dragging his face down to hers for a searing kiss. Kylo eagerly pressed down towards her, arms folding her closer.

"Out, EV," Vex said between kisses. The droid gave a disgruntled tweet, as she rolled out of the room.

Without the droid in the room, Kylo quickly tugged Vex into his arms, carrying her over to the bed. He draped himself over her, his hands and mouth utterly greedy, as if seeking to devour her whole. "I love you," he gasped.

Vex ran her hands up and down his sides. "I'm yours, Kylo. Take me," she pleaded, lips promptly covered by his. Clothing began to disappear in their haste, and soon the room filled with the sound of soft sighs and flesh meeting flesh.

/

In the last few weeks, Kylo had been setting the stage for Vex's escape. Every evening just before the shift change, he walked Vex down towards the hangar. They'd wander around, gawk at the _Vexation_ and go on board and look at the ongoing renovations. EV-9 has been sent out every other night to take Vex's personal ship on short flights to keep it from rusting in disuse.

Tonight, Kylo would put Vex on that ship with EV-9 and send her out. It had to be timed perfectly, or they'd notice her craft wasn't returning from its short flight.

"Vex, it's time!" Kylo called from the outer room. He turned his attention down to EV-9 at his feet. "You go and do final checks on the ship. Try not to engage with anyone. Especially BB-9E. I _know_ he gets on your nerves," he warned.

EV let out an indignant chirp. "I don't care if he starts it! Your duty is to keep Vex safe and get her off this ship! Avoid suspicion and get the ship ready!" Kylo ordered lowly. EV ran over his foot deliberately before leaving the room, not without throwing some choice words back at him. He rolled his eyes, leaning down to rub his foot. "Vex!" he called again.

She emerged from the bedroom, looking pale but determined. "Everything's ready?" she asked, stepping into Kylo's outstretched arms. She lay her head against his chest as his embrace tightened around her. This would be their only goodbye.

"At least two months of rations are on board. Ship's fueled up, tracker's deactivated. We just need to get you on the ship," he told her.

"Thank you," she whispered, feeling Kylo bury his face in her hair. He inhaled briefly before shifting to press his lips to hers. He kissed her like it was the end of times, like he'd never see her again.

"Don't thank me. Just keep our baby safe," he murmured, resting his forehead against hers.

"I will." Vex promised, kissing him once more before pulling away. "We have to go before it's too late," she pointed out. He agreed reluctantly, hand slipping into hers.

They left Vex's quarters for the last time, heading down to the hanger as they had every other night for the last few weeks. They went to the _Vexation_ , talked to one of the engineers for a few minutes, and then circled towards her personal ship. EV-9 was inside.

No-one was looking at them. Their walks through the hangar no longer drew attention, and with Kylo there, no one _wanted_ to look at them for fear of upsetting his temper. The shift was due to change in approximately six minutes, and Vex and EV-9 needed to be gone by then.

They paused before the ship, glancing around to make sure no-one was looking – and then they boarded. Vex quickly moved to the bunk, laying down there as Kylo fastened the belt around her. From his pocket, he drew a needle filled with an opaque, milky substance. "This will put you to sleep so that if they scan the ship as you leave, they won't sense your life signature. It will last less than an hour. You need to be out of the system by then," he explained, directing the last part at EV-9.

The droid tweeted out her understanding. "Thank you," Vex said again, reaching up to brush her fingers along Kylo's face. He gave a brief, half-hearted smile, leaning in to kiss her once more. At the same time, she felt a sharp prick in her arm. He drew away, pocketing the needle.

Vex swiftly began to fall under the drug's influence, eyes slotting shut. She felt a hand brush against her forehead. "It's up to you, now, EV-9," the deep voice said before Vex fell into blackness.

Kylo Ren emerged from the ship exactly two minutes after entering it, alone. He went to the control room above the hangar, where the technicians were readying for the shift's end. "I've sent Vex's ship for another flight. Her droid is aboard," he announced.

One of the technicians sat down in his seat again, sighing. Without bothering to scan the ship, he spoke into the microphone, clearing it to leave. Kylo Ren watched from there as the ship rose, and left the hangar. His hands curled into fists, and then he turned on his heel and left the control room just as the shift changed.

Hopefully they would not notice that Vex's ship hadn't returned for a long time. Kylo returned to his quarters in order to wait for Snoke to summon him.

Vex was gone, all his hope and happiness with her.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**


	13. Chapter 13

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 13**

 _31 ABY – Outer Rim Territories_

" _Where is she!?_ " Snoke snarled, face contorting in a hideous sneer. He sat atop his throne, body half-leaning out of it as he screamed.

Kylo Ren gasped for air before him, hovering in the air, as his fingers scrabbled uselessly at his throat. "I…don't…know!" he managed to get out.

" _LIAR!_ " Snoke yelled, throwing his hand out. Kylo flew through the air, slamming into the floor _hard_. His head slammed against the floor, giving everything in his vision a fuzzy, indistinct look. " _You wouldn't have sent her away without knowing where she was!"_

Kylo slowly pushed himself up to his knees. "I did," he admitted, tongue tracing along his bloody lip. "Neither I nor she knew where she's going," Kylo said, a brief, pained smile crossing his features. _Vex was safe from Snoke_ , he thought. _Their baby would live_.

" _You stupid boy!_ " Snoke roared, outstretched fingers tightening in a loose fist.

Kylo began to scream.

 _31 ABY – The Unknown Regions_

Vex had left the First Order with no idea of where she should go. Where she could hide. She knew that any sort of set plan could have been discovered if Snoke had caught her in the attempt. Now that she was out, now she could decide where to go.

But Vex didn't know anything about the galaxy around her. She'd been raised on the _Supremacy_ , leaving it only for brief missions. Instead, she let the Force guide her to safety, to a place she could hide and safely deliver her baby.

In four days, Vex and EV-9 had reached the Unknowns. They were traveling slowly, as the region was known for being treacherous. The Unknowns were sparsely populated, so in the day or so they'd been there, there had only been one planet they'd passed so far.

The Force was still urging her forward, guiding her way. But Vex was growing impatient to get there. The food would only last so long, and at a certain point, Vex wouldn't be able to do much.

"EV, why don't you go plug in? I'm sure you're getting low on power," Vex said. The droid eagerly popped down from her perch, rushing to the outlet. Vex chuckled, turning back to face the controls. She increased the speed a bit, navigating around a meteor field.

It was hours before EV-9 unplugged and went back to her perch. She chirped out, instructing Vex to go rest and eat. Vex obliged just as eagerly as EV had. She ate quickly before laying down in the bunk for a nap.

/

Vex woke out of a dead sleep, a gasp coming out her lips. "Stop, EV!" she cried, the ship stuttering to stop. The droid tweeted out questions as she dropped from the perch, rolling over to Vex.

"The Force," she murmured, getting up and hastily going to the piloting chair. In front of them was a blue planet – Ahch-To, according to the scanner. It looked as if it was completely made of water, but the Force within Vex told her this was the place.

 _This_ is where she needed to be. "I think this is it, EV," Vex said breathlessly. "Let's have a look," she said, directing the ship into a descent.

They traveled along the horizon, looking for somewhere to land. EV detected that the atmosphere was luckily air, but they hadn't found any land. EV pointed this out in a string of chirps.

"You're right… but there has to be something, otherwise the Force wouldn't have guided me here," Vex replied, brow furrowed with worry. She sighed, getting up. "Keep scanning for land forms. I need to eat,"

Vex went back, digging a ration out of her stores. She prepared it quickly with some water and carried the rather unappetizing loaf to the pilot seat. "Whoa! What's that!?" she cried, hastily putting the food down to take control of the ship.

On the horizon before them rose a mountainous island, rocky but covered with green. "That must be it, EV! That's our new home!" Vex crowed with excitement. EV chirped in agreement, round body shaking. "Let's do a fly-over, see where we can land and if there's any existing shelter," she said.

EV chirped out a question. "Residents? There might be some indigenous species, but I don't sense any humanoids," Vex said. They flew around the island, spotting stone huts on the east side of one of the mountain faces. "That's shelter, EV. Let's find somewhere near to land,"

Several hundred meters down from the shelters, Vex landed her ship. EV popped down from the perch, tweeting. "Let's make sure the huts are uninhabited before we bother moving in," she said, hitting the button to lower the boarding ramp. She secured her lightsaber on her belt and donned a cloak – it looked cold and windy.

Vex stepped off the ship, looking around. The sky was gray, as if it were about to rain at any moment. "Let's hurry," she said, starting up the steps leading to the cluster of huts.

The huts seemed uninhabited, but well-maintained. There was one hut that had a metal hull as a door, but it appeared empty. Vex chose one towards the middle, shielded by the others from weather and sight. "Let's go get our stuff – I don't think we've got much time before the rain comes," Vex said.

They'd gone down to the ship and returned, Vex carrying her pack of clothing and food, only to find a group of short, amphibian-like species bustling around the little village. They were female, judging by the white robs they wore. They paused at the sight of Vex, chattering amongst themselves in a non-Basic language.

"Do you understand them?" Vex asked EV. The droid tweeted out yes. "Tell them I'm pregnant and in need of sanctuary," she requested.

EV turned, emitting those words in the same language the amphibian-like women spoke in. The Lanai, EV told her. The words seemed to rouse them. One of them, a matron by the looks of her, came forward, placing her little hand on Vex's belly as if to find out herself. Then she took Vex's hand, leading her to the hut she'd chosen, ushering her inside. Others followed them in, sweeping and cleaning it up.

The matron led Vex over to a stone ledge wide enough to serve as a bed, urging her to sit down. Vex followed the order, setting her pack down at her feet. Soon others followed, bringing her a bottle of green milk. Vex drank it hesitantly, finding it saltier than normal milk, but otherwise palatable.

One of the Lanai built a fire in the center of the hut, filling it warmth and yellow light. Others brought linens in, telling Vex to perch by the fire as they made a bed for her there. More attempted to hang a heavy blanket across the door to block out the cold wind and rain starting to fall. EV helped hold it in place as they secured it.

"Tell them thank you, EV," Vex said with a smile, drinking from the bottle. EV delivered the message, all the Lanai turning and smiling at her, responding in their language.

Vex felt warm and happy and safe – all until an older man shouldered into the hut, looking angry. "Who are you and what the hell are you doing here!?"

* * *

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	14. Chapter 14

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 14**

 _32 ABY – Ahch-To_

For the first time in a long time – maybe her whole life – Vex felt safe, warm, and happy. The Lanai were busily making the hut into a home – they brought her food and bedding – they were clearly motherly creatures who wanted to help her.

But then the man had appeared. He was older, with shaggy, greying brownish-blond hair. He didn't look happy to see her. "Who are you and what the hell are you doing here!?" he demanded.

Vex slowly got to her feet from where she'd sat by the fire, hand going to her belt. The Lanai women tutted and scolded the man, but he ignored them. "This is a sacred place! You need to leave!" he growled at her.

"I needed sanctuary from the First Order. This is where the Force guided me," Vex said cautiously. The man's eyes widened at the sight of the lightsaber on her belt.

"You're a Jedi," he said in disbelief.

"Not exactly," she said in reply.

"A Sith, then,"

Vex shook her head again. She looked at him closely, seeing his synthetic hand. "You're Luke Skywalker!" she gasped, crossing the hut towards him, hesitation suddenly gone. He looked startled, taking a half-step back.

"I need your help, I need sanctuary. I need someone to teach me-"

"-I cannot be your teacher," Luke cut in. "And you can't stay here!"

Vex stopped dead, hope fading from her face. "What?"

"You cannot think it acceptable for a Sith to come here-"

"I am not a Sith! I am what Snoke made me – and I am asking for your help to find the light!" Vex cried. Luke said nothing, his gaze heavy and pained. "Use the Force to look inside me! Tell me I cannot be saved! My baby –" her hand went to her belly. His expression morphed into something of alarm. "– My baby deserves more than this! More than the First Order!"

Vex dropped to her knees before him. "Look into my mind, Master Skywalker, and tell me I cannot be saved," she said, voice cracking at the end.

Reluctantly, Luke reached out, placing his hand on her forehead. Vex felt his presence in her mind then, gentle and light as he combed through memories. "You poor child," he uttered. _You had no choice in any of this, did you?_

"Will you help me?" she asked, voice hoarse.

His answer did not come out at first. Luke still explored her most recent memories. Of the babies. Kylo Ren. "I will teach you and shelter you. With your most solemn oath that you will never reveal my location to a soul, alive or dead," he said, voice low and rough.

"I swear," Vex promised. His presence left her mind, and he helped her to her feet.

"Rest now – we begin tomorrow,"

/

The weeks passed quickly on Ahch-To, with Luke teaching how to take the pain and anger inside her and turn it into peace. Light. Vex could feel the darkness inside her receding, and it filled her with hope, even though it wasn't easy.

Her child grew, too, and with each week her belly expanded, and her appetite grew. She had passed the dreaded three-month mark, and her baby prospered. Now Vex had only a month and a half left in her pregnancy, launching into full-nesting mode. With the help of the Lanai and Luke, her little stone hut looked more and more like a home. Luke had even crafted a cradle for his grand-niece or nephew out of driftwood, and the Lanai had made a linen lining, stuffed with soft Porg feathers.

The Caretakers doted on Vex, bringing her fresh vegetables, fruit, and fish to eat, to be washed down with that strange blue milk. They made sure she ate her fill and rested often, shooing Luke away if they felt he was overworking her.

It was almost laughable – Vex, who had never known a mother's love or care, now had twelve little Lanai mothers watching over her. It hadn't been easy, but with Luke and EV's help, Vex had begun to grasp their language, and get to know the Caretakers. Alcida-Auka, the matron who had first welcomed her to the village, had seemed to take a personal stake in mothering Vex and preparing her for her child to come.

"Vex," Luke's voice broke through her thoughts. She looked up from her perch on the smooth, meditation rock on the ledge outside the Jedi temple. "What are you doing?" he asked. Vex didn't answer, casting her gaze back to the horizon before her. "You were looking for him, weren't you?" Luke said, resting a hand on the rock beside her.

Vex let out a low, exasperated breath. "I just want to know he's okay. Snoke – he would have made him suffer," she admitted.

Luke sighed. "Kylo Ren made his choice, Vex. I am thankful he decided to save you – but it is much more important that you keep yourself and your child safe. Stop reaching out, Vex. One day, Snoke might sense you and be able to follow your path back here," Luke warned.

Vex dragged a hand down her face, then rubbing it against her belly. Her expression shifted into a grimace as the baby kicked inside her, rubbing her hand more vigorously against her stomach. "Is it too much for me to want him to know our son is well?" she said.

Luke began to shake his head before he recognized her words. He looked up, eyes wide. A smile crept over Vex's lips. "Son?" he asked.

"I can feel it. His spirit, pure as snow. If you opened yourself, you could feel him too," Vex said, expression growing more peaceful.

Luke shuddered reluctantly, closing his eyes. He let out a low breath, reaching out and placing a tentative hand on Vex's stomach. "A boy," he said, as if in wonder. Her smile widened. "Have you begun to come with any names?" Luke asked.

The smile on Vex's lips turned more mischievous. "I've got one or two in mind,"

/

It was late. EV-9 had plugged into the mini-generator Luke had uncovered when her power started to run low. Vex had just placed another log on the fire in order to keep it going throughout the night, then sitting down heavily on her bed. She kicked off her shoes, groaning in relief. Her feet were utterly swollen at this point, and her shoes provided no relief. She closed her eyes for a moment. The sound in the hut and the rain plunking off the roof faded.

 _"Vex?"_

Her eyes shot open. Standing just a few feet before her was Kylo Ren. "Kylo!?" she gasped. His hair was longer, skin paler. And his eyes… they were dark, tortured like she'd never seen them before. _What had Snoke done to him_ , Vex wondered.

She straightened, starting to try and get up. Kylo quickly crossed to her, dropping to his knees at her feet. " _Don't get up_ ," he said, eyes raking in her form hungrily.

"How?" Vex asked, beginning to reach towards him. She paused just before touching him, as if afraid it wouldn't be real.

Kylo's gaze lifted from her swollen stomach to her eyes. " _I felt you searching for me. I followed your path back,_ " he answered, hastily taking off his glove and reaching to lay his hand on her belly.

They both sucked in an audible gasp when his touch didn't pass right through her. His hand settled on her stomach, solid and warm. Vex finished her own motion, fingers tracing along his jaw. He sighed, leaning into her hand. " _You're well? Our baby is well?_ " Kylo asked, looking up at her anxiously.

Vex nodded. "He's kicking like crazy, Kylo, I think he can feel you here," she said, covering his hand with her own, moving it to where she felt the baby kicking.

His expression turned to wonder, pressing his hand against her harder. Then he looked up at her, face just as dopey as Luke's had been when she'd told him. " _He_?" Kylo questioned.

Vex smiled. "Yes, Kylo. A son," she said.

" _A son,_ " Kylo mused. He looked up suddenly. " _Have you decided what to name him?"_

She nodded, her smile gentling as his other hand joined the other, stroking her stomach. "Anakin," Vex told him.

A grin appeared on Kylo's features, dark eyes warming. " _You honor my grandfather_ ," he said.

Vex exhaled, shaking her head. Confusion took over Kylo's expression. "I don't honor Vader, Kylo. I honor his redemption at the hands of his son," she explained. He began to draw away, understanding dawning on his features. "Our son is my redemption, Kylo. He can be yours, too," Vex promised, hands covering his.

Kylo didn't reply, his eyes wide, darting from place to place. "It's your choice what you do, Kylo. I'm not going to argue with you. But you need to promise me something," Vex said.

Kylo shook off his wariness, eyes finding hers again. " _What?_ " he asked.

"Do not try and find me again. I will not try to find you either," Vex said. "If Snoke were able to follow us…"

Kylo followed her logic. _"He could hurt you and our son,_ " he said, pain bleeding into his expression again. " _I won't search for you,_ " he promised.

"And I'll protect our son from everything else," Vex replied. He nodded, lips pursing for a moment. He leaned forward then, pressing his lips to hers.

" _May the Force be with you,_ " he whispered, drawing away. Vex opened her eyes and found herself alone in the hut once more. She bowed her head, wiping away the tears that came.

* * *

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 **I am posting as I finish chapters, but I can put more space between updates if needed. I've only gotten one review for the last two chapters. I know you're reading, please drop me a line or two. It really does make a difference when I'm trying to write.**


	15. Chapter 15

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 15**

 _32 ABY – Ahch-To_

Vex shifted restlessly in bed, whimper escaping her lips. EV-9's lights came on, turning to face her. Vex struggled to shift again, her enormous belly in her way. EV chirped, rolling closer. She didn't wake, face creasing with pain.

A thin, metal appendage emerged from EV's body, tapping Vex on the shoulder. The woman woke with a start, her breathing harsh. "Something's wrong," she said, wincing as she pressed a hand to her belly. She pushed her blankets down and found blood wetting the sheets. Vex let out a scream, sending the droid whirling out of the hut in search of help.

Vex slumped back into the bed, moaning softly as another ricochet of pain went through her. Her thighs were already slick with blood, but she could still feel more slowly oozing out.

Soon, Luke rushed in with the Lanai women pouring in behind him. "I'm bleeding," Vex cried as Luke rushed to her side, taking her hand.

"So you are. Vex, just relax. We'll take care of you," Luke promised as her vision began to go fuzzy, black ringing it.

"My baby," she sobbed. "Don't let him die," Vex pleaded in a daze.

Luke smoothed the hair from her sweaty forehead as her eyelids fluttered. "She's losing too much blood," he said over his shoulder. "Vex, listen to me – hold on, you and your baby will be fine," he said, words following Vex into the abyss of darkness, her eyes sliding shut.

/

When Vex woke again, she felt heavy and lethargic, and entirely disgruntled at the sun shining into her eyes. It took a few moments for her to wake enough in order to open them. Luke sat beside the bed on a stool, eyes watchful over her. "Well, isn't it nice to see those eyes open, kid," he teased.

Then it all suddenly came back to her. The lancing pains, the blood – _oh god_ , all that blood! "The baby!" Vex cried, struggling to sit up.

Luke gently pressed on her shoulder to force her to settle back. "Your baby is fine, Vex, and so are you," he said gently. Vex leaned back, breathing out in relief. She traced her hand down the curve of her belly. "You lost a lot of blood, so you'll be weak for a while," he continued.

"What happened?" Vex questioned as Luke rose from his perch to bring her water.

"I don't know that much about childbirth, Vex. The Caretakers, they said your body is over-stressed, and basically that weird things happen when you're pregnant. We agreed, however, that you should not be doing anything. You need to stay rested, in bed, Vex," Luke explained.

"I can't get out of bed?" Vex said in derision, face scrunching up. "What will I do?"

"I'll bring you books, you'll figure out how to entertain yourself. You still have a few more weeks before your boy should come. We don't want him to come too early,"

Vex nodded solemnly. "Will you still teach me?"

Luke hesitated. "I wonder if even that is too much burden for you right now, kid. Maybe not, at first. I will come to keep you company, of course," he answered.

"Fair enough," Vex sighed. One of the Lanai entered, broom in hand. Upon seeing Vex awake, she ran back outside, crowing with excitement. Luke and Vex smiled in amusement. Luke got up as the Lanai women spilled into the room.

"Your little mothers are here to tend to you. I'll be back later, kid. I'm glad you're okay," Luke said before leaving.

The Lanai quickly set to doing just that – tending to the fire, delivering more food. Alcida-Auka came to Vex, climbing onto the stool Luke had vacated. Vex reached out to her, the amphibious woman holding onto Vex with both of her hands, leaning to press her head to Vex's. "Thank you, Momma," she whispered in their language, feeling her eyes grow heavy already.

Alcida-Auka's eyes softened, pressing her lips to Vex's forehead as she fell back to sleep.

/

It was a week before Luke would let Vex do much of anything besides sleep and read the books he'd brought her. The Lanai blamed him, apparently, for the stress that had caused Vex to almost miscarry. So he had kept his distance until the little amphibious women stopped glaring at him whenever he passed by.

But today, finally, Luke had entered Vex's abode with a sense of purpose. He tucked a small pouch away in his pocket as he came in. "Vex, it's time. We must discuss your dark deeds," he said seriously, sitting on the stool beside her bed.

The smile dropped from her lips. Vex had known this was coming – eventually – but _now_? "Will you judge me?" she asked, voice tremulous.

Luke shook his head. "You are redeemed, Vex. But in order for you to find peace, you must accept your dark deeds," he said.

Vex nodded slowly, sighing loudly "I suppose I'll start at the beginning. I was twelve the first time I killed. I hadn't wanted to, in fact I refused to. But then Snoke took control of my limbs and forced me to kill him," she swallowed hard, looking ashamed. "To punish me for my defiance, he forced me to kill someone everyday for a year. Hundreds died, because I told Snoke no,"

Luke sighed, reaching out and resting a hand on her shoulder. "You cannot blame yourself for his evil. You were a child – you had no one to turn to,"

"But it became my life, Luke," Vex said earnestly. "I obeyed Snoke's orders to save myself. I knew it would cause less pain in the long run if I simply did as he said,"

"You saved lives that way, Vex. At cost to yourself. Your pain and anger… it's all due to Snoke," Luke said.

Vex looked away, hands cradling her belly. "It is why I took such pride in my Killtroopers. I made myself, my battalion, feared throughout the galaxy in order to preserve as much life as possible, so that when I had to carry out a mission, people would hide instead of coming out to fight. I did not have the option of sparing their lives. My battalion was designed to be an execution squad, not anything else," she explained quietly.

Luke's gaze was sharp, but not disapproving as Vex had feared. So many of her dark deeds had been forced upon her, her ruthlessness a result of her desires to preserve life. "Tell me this, Vex," Luke said suddenly, in the lull of silence. Her piercing blue eyes found his. "Is there anything, any foul deed, that you are proud of?" he asked.

Vex began to shake her head at first but stopped after a moment of consideration. "Yes, there is one thing I'm proud of," she said.

"Tell me," Luke prompted.

"When I was thirteen, Kylo Ren and his knights of Ren joined Snoke's service," Vex began, pausing to sneak a look at the expression that crossed Luke's features. "I found them just as abhorrent as they found me. I was seen as competition for our master's attention,"

"He is no longer your master," Luke interjected as a gentle reminder.

Eyes misty, Vex nodded, swallowing hard. "He made us spar together. In one of those spars, I killed Cado," she said, seeing recognition cross Luke's face. "He took pleasure in torturing me. So when I had the opportunity, I didn't hesitate. Afterwards, I thought Snoke would be angry with me. But he wasn't – he was _pleased_. So I took the chance before me and I… killed the others, until Kylo and I were all that was left," she said.

"And you are proud of that?" Luke asked, expression carefully neutral.

Vex nodded. "I rid the galaxy of six evil men, bloodthirsty and eager to carry out Snoke's orders. I looked into their hearts, Luke, and there was nothing there but evil," she explained. After a few moments, her expression shifted. "Is that what you see when you look at me?" she questioned, voice breaking.

Luke shook his head. "No, Vex. Darkness is not in your heart. Even when you had just arrived here, I could see that. Vex, your heart is light, but it is weighed down by the regret for your dark deeds," Luke said.

"How can I fix that?" Vex questioned, brows furrowed. There was relief because of what Luke had said, but also confusion.

"Live a life of light and love," Luke said. "Fight against the darkness. Accept what you cannot change," he advised, fiddling in his pocket and drawing out a small pouch. "And there's this," he gives her the pouch.

Vex curiously opened it, pouring the contents into her hand. A purple crystal fell into her open palm. "A purple kyber crystal?" Vex questioned, looking up at Luke. She looked mystified, features frozen in shock.

"Purple is for Jedi that have turned from the darkness to light. I thought this could occupy your time – remake your lightsaber," he suggested.

Vex's eyes filled with tears, her hand clenching around the jagged crystal. "Luke, thank you," she said lowly, reaching out to him.

Luke enfolded the young woman in his arms, patting her back as she cried. "You are an extraordinary young woman, Vex. You have so much more to give – never give up,"

* * *

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	16. Chapter 16

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 16**

 _32 ABY – Ahch-To_

It was time. Overdue, actually. But the baby hadn't come. If Vex had to estimate, she thought that she might be more than a week overdue.

Vex wanted the baby _out_ of her, if only to be able to hold him in her arms. There was, of course, a great deal of discomfort too, that she wouldn't mind being rid of. Her belly was enormous, the baby kicked constantly, her feet were swollen and her back was aching. There were no comfortable positions anymore, so all she could do was try to hasten her labor.

She hadn't been on her feet for more than a few moments in weeks, but now she walked circles in the little Jedi Village, or inside her hut if the weather was bad. EV-9 was always at her side, only plugging in if someone was with Vex – the little droid was ever ready to alert Luke and the Lanai the moment Vex went into labor. Gods, Vex prayed it was soon.

"Your pains, how are they?" Luke asked in the middle of a turn around the village. The sun was disappearing beneath the clouds – it was sure to rain soon, but Vex wanted to feel the sun on her skin and breathe the fresh air, if only for a short time.

Vex sighed. "Not horrible. Just enough to keep me in constant discomfort," she admitted.

Luke lended a sympathetic smile. "I remember when my sister was pregnant with Ben," he began. Vex took notice of how he said Ben, not Kylo. She supposed it must be difficult to reconcile that babe with what he was today. "She was overdue too, and he moved about constantly, never letting her rest. She was deeply uncomfortable, as you are now," he recalled, a smile coming to his lips.

"So it's the Solo blood that causes this? Should I blame the babe's father, or his grandfather?" Vex asked, pausing as the baby placed a well-aimed kick towards her already aching back. She winced, rubbing her back.

"Or perhaps the babe," Luke added in amusement.

"I find I have difficulty blaming him," Vex muttered, though her expression was resentful.

Luke chuckled. "As crazy as this may sound, treasure this time. As uncomfortable as you are, these are your last moments before becoming a mother. Your life will forever change after that," he advised.

"Of that I am very aware," Vex said under her breath. At a look from Luke, she sighed. "I'm trying, Luke,"

"Labor will be no picnic," he pointed out, just as water immediately coursed down Vex's legs, falling to the ground with a splat.

She glared at him. "I hate you," she muttered, as he immediately guided her back to her hut.

"The force works in mysterious ways," Luke smiled. "EV-9, fetch the Caretakers, tell them Vex is going into labor," he called, supporting Vex as a ripple of pain went through her.

"Here he comes," she said breathlessly.

/

Vex wouldn't lie and say she hadn't worried about childbirth – especially after her near miscarriage about a month ago. And it'd been terrible. The pain had threatened to tear her apart as her son came into the world. But, strangely, she'd found the pain mild in comparison to the torture she'd undergone in the past.

But it'd all been worth it when her son had been placed in her arms. It'd been Luke who delivered him, her Lanai mothers scurrying about to help. Luke had handed the babe to Alcida-Auka to clean and wrap in linen before laying him across his mother's chest.

Vex had been exhausted, sweaty, and still aching, but her son in her arms meant everything. She'd lost three babies already and never got to hold them. But she had a son, now. Her heart was fuller than she thought possible, as she wept and kissed is face as he squalled.

"What is his name, Vex?" Luke asked, peering down at him over her shoulder. Her son had her olive skin and sharp cheekbones, his eyes dark blue with dark hair spattering his scalp.

"Anakin. Anakin Solo," Vex answered, unable to tear her eyes away from the child, dragging a finger down his face. She heard Luke's breath leave him, and she looked up reluctantly. "He's my redemption, Luke," she offered weakly as explanation.

Luke nodded slowly, a sigh whistling through his lips. He reached out, fingers brushing the baby's soft cheek. "It's perfect," he whispered.

/

It was three weeks before Vex had enough energy to leave her hut. Between her body healing and caring for Anakin, all Vex did was sleep. At first, all her babe did was cry. Only Luke seemed to be able to soothe him, no matter how hard Vex tried. But once Vex had recovered and no longer felt so frantic all the time, Anakin did too. He began to sleep more, eat more, and he eased his fussiness much easier than before.

Today Vex stepped out of her hut, Anakin strapped to her chest in a sling. Finally, her body was beginning to feel her own again. Vex didn't think her body had felt like her own since before Snoke had forced her to begin trying for a child with Kylo Ren. That was finally over now, and after nine long months, Anakin was here.

She knew for a fact that she'd never loved a being more. Not Sin, not Kylo – not Ayla'Lyn. Her Ani was the perfect blend of her and Kylo, with a sweet and quiet disposition. Her son was at his happiest in Vex's arms, and she had no desire to ever put him down. Vex knew if she lost him, she'd go mad. There would be no light left in her if Anakin was gone.

Her Lanai mothers doted on her son relentlessly. When Vex had emerged from her hut, they'd crowded around her, urging her to kneel so they could peer at Anakin. Vex dropped to a knee, allowing them to coo over him. If the babe minded, he didn't show it. He just looked up at them, his eyes, _Kylo's eyes_ , almost curious as he gummed on his fingers.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Vex said, the amphibious women quickly agreeing.

"Where are you taking our little prince?" Alcida-Auka asked in their language, hand resting on Vex's arm.

Vex smiled. "For a bit of a wander, I suppose. I want him to see the island of his birth," she answered, climbing to her feet.

"Be careful," her little mother cautioned as Vex started down one of the paths leading away from the village.

"I will!" Vex shot back over her shoulder, both arms wrapped around Anakin in his sling.

The young mother continued leisurely down one of the paths that led to the ancient Jedi temple, bouncing and cooing at her babe. Her son's eyes were wide with wonder at the blue sky and the lush greenness of the island. Vex had laughed out loud at the look of befuddlement on Anakin's face when the breeze had ruffled his fluffy black hair for the first time. She bowed her head to press a kiss to her son's head before moving on.

Soon, Vex found herself in the old temple, holding Anakin up so that he could see everything as she murmured to him. How much her son understood, Vex didn't know, but she wanted him to know this place. After a while, Anakin began to fuss, so Vex sat down on the edge of the pool and bared her breast so her son would suckle at it.

It was as Vex fed her son that Luke appeared in the entrance. He averted his eyes when he saw Vex's bare breast, causing her to cover herself with the long edge of her cloak. Luke cleared his throat and approached. "Why did you bring him here?" he asked curiously, with no sign of disapproval.

"This temple is his heritage, Luke. He may grow up to be a Jedi, or he may not – but that doesn't change the fact that he is descended of them. His mother, father, uncle, and great-grandfather… all Jedi," Vex trailed on, cradling her son's head carefully beneath the covering. "I also want him to know the place of his birth. Ahch-To has been paradise for us, something we desperately needed,"

Luke looked at her, sharply. "You speak as if you intend to leave," he said, expression falling.

Vex lifted her eyes to meet his. "I cannot hide here forever, Luke,"

* * *

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	17. Chapter 17

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 17**

 _32 ABY – Ahch-To_

Ever since Vex had announced her intentions of leaving, Luke had become deeply conflicted. He understood why she had to – but he didn't want her and his great-nephew to leave. If they left Ahch-To, they'd be in harm's way – and Luke didn't want that. He couldn't – _wouldn't_ – leave this place, but he wanted to protect them. This left Luke in a difficult position.

It'd been weeks since Vex had said those words, but she'd shown no signs of readying herself to leave. Luke was living in fear of that moment.

He heaved himself into a seat before her hearth, watching as Vex lovingly rocked her son to sleep in the cradle he'd crafted for Anakin. Luke watched her face – it was normally so sharp and worried, but now, as she gazed upon her son and sang softly under her breath, there was only softness. Love and nothing else.

"Must you leave?" Luke questioned suddenly. He hadn't broached the subject until now.

Vex looked up in surprise. "I don't _want_ to, Luke. But the longer I tarry here, the more likely the First Order will find me. It's no longer only my life I have to worry about," she explained quietly.

"And what of Anakin? What will happen to him as you run from planet to planet?" Luke asked, tone bitter.

Vex's eyes lowered back to her son, dragging a finger down her son's velvety-soft cheek. He exhaled softly in his sleep. "I don't intend on running, Luke. I'm going to make sure my son is safe, and then I'm going to fight,"

/

 _33 ABY – Mid Rim Territories_

Kylo Ren wondered about a lot of things lately. He wondered what Snoke hoped to gain by conquering the galaxy. As much as he believed in his master, he knew the people of this galaxy would not stay subjugated long. His own parents were a prime example. Snoke would succeed, of course, but how long could it last? At some point, someone would oppose them and actually win. It was only a matter of time.

Perhaps history would repeat itself and it would be his own son come to slay him as Luke did Vader.

Kylo Ren also wondered about Vex. Their son. Were they well? Did they feel his absence as keenly as he felt theirs? It'd been nearly a year since Vex had escaped – their son had to have been born by now. _Anakin_. Vex had chosen to name their son for Kylo's grandfather, and he couldn't have been more pleased by it.

Vex had told him she meant to honor Vader's redemption, not his deeds. That their son was her redemption, and could be Kylo's, too. But he didn't see how it was possible. Kylo would never meet his son, so how could Anakin possibly redeem him?

Knowing Vex and Anakin were out there – out of his reach – was torturous. Kylo could not even look for him and chance putting them in danger. He had to place the safety of his family above all else. Above his happiness, his safety, and even his sanity.

/

 _33 ABY – Ahch-To_

"When will you leave?" Luke asked, with his great-nephew on his knee. Anakin was just starting to sit up now, and he no longer liked being cradled like an infant anymore, if you did, he'd fuss in indignation. So Luke set him on his knee, supporting him with a hand to the babe's back.

Vex glanced up from her attempt at sewing a little shirt for Anakin. She'd had ere a few lessons from her Lanai mothers, but she was still atrocious at it. "Soon, I think. Anakin's old enough to travel now. I shouldn't delay,"

Luke looked down to the little one in his arms. He leaned down, pressing a whiskery kiss to Anakin's head. Where Anakin had had dark blue eyes at birth, they'd turned brown, like his father's. The swath of black hair on his head belonged to Kylo, too. But his high cheek bones, delicate nose and sun-kissed skin were all Vex. He was a good-looking lad who would surely be a striking man one day. If he lived that long.

"I know you will miss him, Luke. There's no need to look so sad. We'll return one day, I hope," Vex said, abandoning her project to sit beside him.

"It is not only Ani I'll miss," Luke replied, turning to look at Vex.

She forced a half-hearted smile, ice-blue eyes conflicted. She kissed his bearded cheek, putting an arm around his back. "You can't fathom what your tutelage has meant to me, Luke. You delivered me from the darkness and into the light," she murmured, reaching out and taking her son's hand when he began to reach for her.

Luke looked at her, his teary gaze heavy. "You are like a daughter to me, Vex. You've suffered much and I fear it is not over," he whispered. Vex squeezed her eyes for a long moment. "What if you left Anakin here, with me?" he suggested suddenly. Her eyes shot open, looking at Luke in alarm. "I'd keep him safe. I could hide him just as I've hidden myself," Luke said desperately.

"I can't, Luke. They'll be looking for Anakin, just as surely as they'll be looking for you and me. I swore an oath to never reveal your location –"

"I don't care about that!" Luke exclaimed, startling Anakin on his knee. The babe started to cry in surprise, arms reaching for his mother.

Vex took him into her arms, rocking her fussy boy till his soft cries abated. Luke watched, eyes regretful, his hands clenching into fists. "Where will you hide him then?" he questioned, not bothering to hide his bitterness.

Vex looked up, eyes uncertain. "I was thinking of my old nanny, before Snoke took me. Ayla'Lyn. I know she'd care for him, protect him with her life," she said.

"And you're sure she lives?" Luke asked, skeptically.

Vex gave a hesitant nod. "I reached out. I found her, and her heart is still true. Love for me still lives there," she explained.

"Where is she?" he questioned, reaching out and brushing a finger against Anakin's soft cheek.

"D'Qar."

* * *

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 **HERE WE GO! We're really getting into the action/plot part now!**


	18. Chapter 18

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 18**

 _33 ABY – Ahch-To_

It was with a heavy heart that Vex left Ahch-To after a year and a half of peaceful life there with her son. Luke hadn't tried to convince her to stay, but she could see how her decision grieved him. Could see his sorrow returning. Vex felt awful, but she _needed_ to do this. Ayla'Lyn would take her son into hiding and then Vex could fight. Fight against Snoke and the First Order.

"Once you've hidden Ani, go to the Resistance. My sister, without a doubt, will be at its heart," Luke had advised her.

"The Resistance? They'll never trust me, Luke. It used to be my duty to hunt them down," Vex had argued.

"Not if you show Leia this," Luke said, pressing a worn wooden talisman into her hand. Vex examined it, the wood smooth in her hand. "Leia gave it to me years ago. She told me our father had made it for our mother, before everything had gone wrong. If you have this, she would know I sent you," he explained.

Vex gaped at him, eyes wide. "I can't – this is too precious an heirloom," she objected.

"You must," Luke insisted, closing her hands around the talisman.

She looked up, meeting his eyes. "What will I say when she asks where you are?" Vex asked.

Luke set his hand on her shoulder. "The truth. That you swore to never reveal my location. That I will _not_ leave," he said.

"What if she does not accept that answer?" Vex questioned, brows drawn low in concern.

"Then you do what you must. I trust you, Vex,"

/

 _33 ABY – D'Qar_

It took twenty-four days to reach D'Qar. By then, they're desperately low on supplies and Anakin was ill-tempered from the sudden upset in his short life. EV-9 had to go long stretches without charging since Vex had to tend to her son and herself. Someone (some _droid_ ) had to pilot the ship.

EV-9 landed the ship in a field outside the town Vex had traced Ayla-Lyn to. It was a dense little town with rows and rows of winding streets. On the west side of town, there were several large buildings and a landing strip with several x-wings lined up. Vex assumed it had to be a rebel base, but she found it of little interest. But the fact that this was where Ayla'Lyn lived _was_ interesting.

They waited three hours to leave the ship, allowing time for EV-9 to charge and for dusk to fall. More people would be on the street as they returned home, so Vex would be lost in the crowd. Vex had dressed carefully, in dark pants and a pale blue shirt, covered by a worn brown cloak that Luke had given her. She strapped Anakin to her chest and hid him beneath the cloak, and a small pack of Anakin's things on her back. Her newly crafted lightsaber hung on her belt, also hidden by the voluminous cloak.

After spending so long in solitude, the bustling streets of the town were overwhelming. It's the only reason Vex didn't sense the man coming up behind her. He gripped her shoulder suddenly, digging a blaster into her back. She stilled – luckily, Anakin was fast asleep against her chest.

"What business do you have on D'Qar?" the man's voice demanded, low and gruff.

Vex turned her head, face shadowed by her hood. She caught sight of the man's olive skin and dark curls. His handsome face was set in suspicion. "What right do you have to question me?" she asked in return.

"You don't think I recognized you, Reaper?" he suggested. "The deadliest woman in the galaxy?"

Vex sighed. "If you know who I am, then you know what I can do. That that blaster of yours is useless against me," she said.

"Then why haven't you done it yet?" the man challenged, blaster digging deeper into her back.

Vex shifted uncomfortably. She felt Anakin stirring against her chest, beginning to wake. She bit her lip. "I have no desire to harm you or anyone else. I am here for personal business, nothing more," she promised.

A bitter laugh escaped the man. "As if I should believe _that_ , from the woman responsible for the murder of hundreds,"

"You blame the weapon rather than the one who wielded it?" Vex asked, turning her head to catch his gaze.

He snorted derisively. "As if you can blame someone else for your crimes," he said disdainfully, just as her son let out a little cry. Vex quickly wrapped her arms around him, trying to quiet him. "What was _that!?_ " the man demanded, seizing her arm and turning Vex to face him.

Vex's arms stayed wrapped protectively around her son, who began to cry in earnest now. She used the Force to push the man back several steps, keeping him at bay. "What _is_ that!?" the man questioned through gritted teeth, his blaster still trained in her direction, even though they both knew she could stop him easily. It was with great reluctance that she pushed the cloak aside, revealing her son. " _Whose_ baby is that!?"

"He's mine. My son," Vex admitted, rocking her son in hopes of calming his cries before attention could be drawn to them. Something in the man's expression changed – his eyes widened, jaw fell slack. His grip on the blaster faltered, but he regained it quickly. "Stop pointing that blaster at him!" she growled, a wave of her power sending the weapon spinning from his grip, and the man sprawling on his ass.

The man quickly got to his feet, hands held out in a calming gesture. "Look, I'd _never_ harm the kid," he said, slowly reaching for the blaster, only for Vex to push it farther from him.

"Then why did you point a blaster at him?" Vex questioned, hood falling back as she stepped back to put space between them. The man stilled, seeing the look of fear and anger on her face.

"I was pointing it at _you_ ," he said. "You're from the First Order – you're the _Reaper_ ," he said, as if that explained everything.

Vex pressed a kiss to her son's head, frantically smoothing his hair. Anakin began to quiet, his face still red from fright. "You don't _know_ me. You don't know what I've been through!" she said harshly.

"Maybe I don't," the man admitted, taking a cautious step forward. "What is your business on D'Qar?" he asked again.

"I seek an old friend." Vex answered.

"Why?" She didn't answer, glaring in his direction. He looked at her carefully, crouching down to pick up his blaster, this time without her interference. "So it's for him, then," he said, gesturing to Anakin with his empty hand. Vex kept her gaze steady, mouth pressed into a thin line.

After a moment, he gestured to her. "You need to come with me," he ordered, blaster kept pointed at the ground.

"Why?" she questioned.

"Because I can't just let you go. I promise nothing will happen to your son," the man swore.

"You think you could stop me if I want to leave?" Vex challenged, eyes hardening.

The man shook his head. "No, I don't. But you'd have to hurt me to get away. And you said you didn't want to do that," he pointed out.

Vex's jaw tensed, her arms still wrapped around her son. "And where would you take me?" she asked.

He didn't answer for a moment. "The Rebel base," he admitted reluctantly.

Something changed in Vex's eyes. She shifted, looking down to the droid at her side. The man eyed it too. "I want to speak to Leia," she said finally, meeting his eyes.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

 _ **Who can guess who the man is? Or is it as obvious as I thought?**_


	19. Chapter 19

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 19**

 _33 ABY – D'Qar_

Leia stood before the window, looking in on the woman and child inside. Vex had lain aside her long cloak and took her son from the harness on her chest – she fed him now from her breast. "So that's the Reaper," she murmured.

Poe Dameron stood beside her, arms crossed over his chest. "She wasn't what I expected," he admitted, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Leia turned to look at him, eyes glittering with intelligence. "And what do you make of her, Poe?" she asked.

"She seems like a scared mother," Poe said, shaking his head. His gaze did not stray from the woman inside. "She could have killed me and gone on her way, but she didn't,"

"And why do you think that is?" she questioned.

Poe shrugged. "I have no idea,"

Leia's lips pursed, turning her head to look back at the infamous woman. "She used to be sent out at least once every month. Then she disappeared for nearly three years and suddenly shows up here – it doesn't feel right," she pointed out.

Poe gestured towards the baby. "He must be why," he suggested.

She remained quiet for a few minutes. "And she asked for me by name?" Poe nodded. "Why?" Leia asked.

He shrugged again. "I guess you'll have to ask her," he said.

Leia sucked in a deep breath, turning irritated eyes towards him. "Fine," she said, moving towards the door. She knocked lightly before opening the door. Vex glanced back as Leia entered, Poe behind her. She covered her breast and raised her son to her shoulder to burp him.

The two women regarded each other carefully, eyes searching for weaknesses. "I am General Leia Organa. I believe you know Poe," Leia introduced, gesturing towards the man behind her.

Vex nodded politely. "I'm Vex, and this is my son, Anakin," she replied.

The look that crossed Leia's face was nothing less than shock, though she quickly schooled her expression. "An uncommon name," she chose to say instead of one of the other hundred questions that crossed her mind. Vex nodded stiffly. "Why did you come to D'Qar?" she questioned.

Vex drew in a deep breath. "I came to find someone," she admitted. "She was my nanny once, a long time ago. I knew she would care for my son,"

"Who?" Poe interjected.

Vex's eyes slid from Leia to him. "She was known by Ayla'Lyn when I knew her. A Twi'lek, with purple coloring," she answered.

"I know Ayla'Lyn," Leia said, brows raising. "You're the little girl she raised? The one that was taken?" she asked in surprise. Poe looked to his general, brows furrowed, before he looked back to the young woman before them.

Vex lowered her eyes back to her son, cradling him close. "Yes," she murmured.

Leia sat down in one of the chairs, rubbing her forehead. "And why would you want to leave your son behind?"

"Because Snoke wants him. And I can't let him have my son," Vex retorted, eyes fiery.

Poe shifted behind Leia, resting his hands on the back of her chair. "Why would Snoke want your son?" he questioned.

Vex avoided his eyes, looking to Leia instead. "I was going to find you once I'd made sure Anakin was safe. I intend to fight – against the First Order, that is," she said.

"You understand why we must be cautious, don't you? We must be careful who we trust," Leia said.

Vex nodded, reaching into a pocket. "I was told that if I gave you this, you'd know I could be trusted," she said, giving the worn talisman to Leia.

The older woman's eyes widened as she carefully turned it over in her hands. "This – it's impossible!"

"What is it?" Poe asked.

"Luke gave this to you?" Leia questioned, lifting incredulous eyes to the other woman.

Vex nodded. "He gave me shelter when I escaped from Snoke. He told me to come to you,"

Leia leaned forward eagerly. "Where _is_ Luke?" she asked.

Vex looked away again, fingers flexing. "He made me swear not to tell anyone where he is," she said.

" _Why_?"

Vex shrugged, her arms cradling her son as he began to fall asleep. "I don't know," she admitted. "Probably for the same reasons he left," Vex speculated.

"How can we trust you if you won't tell us what you know?" Poe cut in, brows furrowed.

Vex flashed him a cutting glare. "Trust goes both ways, you know. I'm not talking to anyone until I see Ayla'Lyn," she said, turning away from the other two to give them her back.

/

Ayla'Lyn was a beautiful Twi'lek woman with purple coloring. She'd been sold as a slave when she was a little girl, where she'd been a servant in several households on Coruscant before she'd joined the Valorum household. The Valorums had a newborn baby girl that her parents clearly didn't care for. Ayla'Lyn was fifteen when they'd made her Vex's nanny. And she'd fallen in _love_ with that girl.

Vex had been like a daughter to her. She'd been twenty-six days old when Ayla'Lyn had started caring for her. And for five years, she and Vex had been family. Vex's parents were never around, so Ayla'Lyn and Vex were left alone. And they'd been happy.

She'd known Vex was different since she was two years old. There would be times when Vex would cry or have a tantrum, and things would fall from the table or shelf. She'd stare off into the distance and see things, things Ayla'Lyn couldn't see. And then she'd tell Ayla'Lyn that her mother was coming – and then three seconds later, Venesia would look in on them.

Ayla'Lyn had always hidden these occurrences from the Valorums. She didn't trust them. Not to have Vex's best interests at heart. And then, one day, Vex had performed one of her miracles in front of them. And then everything had gone wrong.

Two days later, Stormtroopers had invaded the apartment and carried Vex out as she screamed and cried and fought. Ayla'Lyn had been restrained by the Stormtroopers as they stole her girl – as her parents simply sat there, drinking and ignoring it all. After that, Ayla'Lyn lasted about a week before she'd run away.

She knew the First Order had her girl. She wasn't going to take it lying down. That was how Ayla'Lyn had joined the rebellion. She wasn't a vice admiral or commander like Holdo or Dameron. No, Ayla'Lyn was a _spy_. She'd been a slave for twenty years. She knew how to blend into the background and get information.

Leia Organa had become one of her closest friends over the last eighteen years. She'd been at Leia's side when her son had gone to the dark side, and when her brother had disappeared. Leia had been there for her, when all the work she'd done had come to nothing, year after year. She'd never found her girl. Her Vex. Not until today.

Her Vex was sitting in one of those observation rooms on Leia's base, a baby in her arms. Her son, Leia told her. Vex had grown up to become the First Order's own Reaper, a dark Jedi. But now she was something else – on the run, seeking safety for her son. Ayla'Lyn should have done that herself, eighteen years ago. Maybe Vex would have been better off then.

Ayla'Lyn stepped into the room quietly, wishing to observe her girl just a few moments longer. Vex faced away from her, the babe fast asleep in a make-shift bassinet that had been brought to her. She rocked the boy gently, burgundy hair shifted over one shoulder. Ayla'Lyn could see a thick, dark scar on her exposed neck. She wondered what horrors her girl had been through.

"Vex," Ayla'Lyn said, the skirts of her dress whispering against the floor.

Vex turned to face her quickly, eyebrows lifting with shock. "Ayla?" her voice shuddered, rising to her feet.

"I'm here, my girl," the Twi'lek said, holding her arms out. Vex looked at her for a moment, seeming uncertain, before she stepped into her old nanny's arm. Ayla'Lyn held her close, pressing her cheek against Vex's hair. "You have no idea how long I've been searching for you," she murmured.

"You were the only one who ever cared for me. Loved me. I need you to do that for my son," Vex said, eyes teary and voice thick with emotion.

Ayla'Lyn looked past Vex to the boy, moving closer to look at him. "You have a son," she said in wonder.

Together, they bent over the bassinet, Vex tracing a finger down her sleeping boy's cheek. "Yes. His name is Anakin," Vex told her proudly.

"He's beautiful," she said, wrapping an arm around Vex's shoulders. "How old is he?"

"Nine months," Vex answered, a smile stretching her lips. "He's beginning to walk now. Just a few steps, mind you," she said, looking up to Ayla'Lyn.

"That's wonderful,"

"Will you do it, then?" Vex questioned. Stress and worry were suddenly back on her features. Ayla'Lyn could feel it in the tightness of her shoulders.

"Of course I'll care for Anakin. We're family, Vex. That is without question," Ayla'Lyn promised. And then, suddenly all that tension melted away from the younger woman. "But you _must_ talk to Leia. I promise you can trust her," she said.

"I _know_ I can trust Leia, Luke told me I could," Vex said in frustration. "But I don't know how she'll react to what I _do_ say," she admitted.

Ayla'Lyn reached out, toying with a lock of her hair. "You don't need to worry, Vex. Leia is one of my closest friends – and I'll take care of you," she said. By Vex's daunted expression, Ayla'Lyn knew she hadn't reassured her. "What could be so bad?" she asked.

Vex sighed, turning away to return her attention to her son. "Call her in, Ayla. I'll talk to her,"

The Twi'lek woman went to the door and ushered Leia back in. "Are you ready to talk to me?" Leia asked, lifting an eyebrow as Vex looked up to her from her seat beside her son's bassinet.

"There is something I must tell you – before anything else." Vex began, swallowing hard. Ayla'Lyn sat down beside her, placing a hand on her girl's back. "It's about my son – and I know it will be hard for you to hear," she continued, eyes troubled.

Leia took a few steps closer, looking curiously at the babe asleep in the little bassinet. "What is it?" she asked.

Vex sucked in a deep breath. "Your son-" she said, shaking her head anxiously. Leia's gaze shot to her, seeing the nervousness in the young woman's features. "Kylo Ren is Anakin's father," Vex announced, lowering her eyes to the ground to avoid seeing Leia's reaction.

Leia gasped, reaching back to find support on the wall behind her. Ayla'Lyn turned to her charge, eyes wide. "Snoke wished for an heir – and he made us – " Vex tried to explain, a strangled noise coming from her throat. Leia lifted her eyes to meet Vex's, still full of shock. "Snoke wants him, Leia. I ran away to keep my son safe. Your grandson. I need your help," Vex pleaded.

Leia seemed to regain her strength, pushing off the wall to approach the little boy in the bassinet. He looked so like her Ben when he was a baby. She didn't know how she hadn't seen it before. "Rest assured, honey. There is no way in _hell_ Snoke will lay his hands on my grandson," she hissed out, words filled with certainty and vitriol.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thoughts? Leia knows!


	20. Chapter 20

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 20**

 _33 ABY – D'Qar_

After Vex's shocking announcement and Leia's impassioned promise to protect Anakin, they lapsed into silence. Leia settled into the chair opposite Vex, gazing down at the little boy. "Did he hurt you?" she asked finally, looking to Vex.

Vex lifted her own gaze to meet Leia's, expression confused. "Who?"

"My son," Leia said.

"You're asking if he raped me." Vex said. It wasn't a question. She quickly began to shake her head. "No, no – in his own way, he was kind to me," she answered.

Leia relaxed back into her seat. "Then what brought you to this?" Ayla'Lyn asked. "How did the two of you come to have this beautiful boy?"

Vex smiled half-heartedly at the compliment. "Snoke decided he wanted an heir. That Kylo and I would provide one." she sighed, turning her gaze back to her son. She didn't want to see their pity. "So we did. Each time –" at that, Leia and Ayla'Lyn traded a look of dismay. "–I reached three months, Snoke would call me to his throne room to check on the babe. If he judged the baby not force-sensitive, and he did, each time, he killed it. And forced us to try again," Vex explained, tears in her eyes.

"How many times?" Ayla'Lyn questioned, placing a hand on her wrist in a comforting gesture.

"Three," Vex admitted, voice cracking on the word. The two other women sucked in harsh breaths. "So when I became pregnant with Anakin, I knew I couldn't let it happen again. I decided to escape," she continued, glancing up at Leia.

"And my son?" she asked. "Did he want to be a father?"

"He wanted it more than me," Vex told her. "He loved every one of them," she said, watching as Leia's eyes filled with tears. "I told him I'd die before letting Snoke have another of our babies. He wanted me to stay, but he helped me escape,"

"So there's hope for him yet," Leia said, blinking through tears.

"Yes, there is," Vex assured her. "But it won't be easy. He still follows Snoke blindly. But he found it inside of him to put Anakin's survival above everything else," she said.

"Is that why you named him Anakin?" Leia asked.

Vex nodded. "Because he's my redemption – and he can be Kylo's, too. And he knows that," she explained.

"Did you love him? My son?"

Vex avoided her eyes for a moment. "We had something, once. But it withered away with each baby we lost. We lost too much," she admitted. "But I do love him as my son's father. As my friend," she looked up at Leia for a moment, before quickly looking away. She didn't know what to say – she was only stating the truth.

Leia's eyes were searching, considering Vex before her. The young woman was clearly scarred mentally and physically from her time with the First Order – and frightened for her son. Leia's _grandson_. _That_ , Leia could understand. Vex had the manner about her of someone just beginning to heal – and if Leia didn't know any better, she'd say it was because of Luke.

And Luke, that frustrating little _nerfherder_! Whatever he'd done for Vex, he'd sealed her lips tighter than a drum! Leia wasn't exactly surprised – Luke had a way about him that just seemed to inspire loyalty. Even when he'd been just an innocent farm boy.

But… the Rebellion needed a Jedi. Luke had sent them one. One who knew the inner workings of the First Order intimately. The only one who might be able to undo Kylo Ren and bring him home. Vex Valorum had fallen into her lap at the perfect time.

"I know how you came to be with the First Order, Ayla'Lyn told me that much. But what can you tell me about your time there?" Leia asked.

Vex glanced up at her, expression uncertain. "Snoke began training me within a few days of my capture. I was five," she began, steeling herself. Leia watched the emotion leave her face, as if to wall herself off from the pain of her memories. "You know that he wasn't kind. If I stepped a toe out of line, I'd be punished. But he taught me the ways of the Force. I had no choice but to learn. By the time I was thirteen, I was skilled in my fighting and the mental powers of the Force. By then, Snoke had broken me. I had no hope of ever escaping. He was too powerful, and I couldn't imagine another life," she explained, looking away from Leia and Ayla'Lyn's pitying expressions.

"My only purpose then was to survive. Make it to the next day. Around that time was when Kylo Ren and his knights joined Snoke," her eyes darted to Leia, who'd stiffened. "I was not only Snoke's first apprentice, but he'd claimed me as his child. He would use physical contact, closeness, to intimidate me. But, Kylo, he only saw it as attention _he_ wasn't receiving. We hated each other and thrived on our competition. Snoke forced us to train together, and I killed his knights then. Snoke saw it as natural selection, I saw it as justice," she paused, looking to her son as he murmured in his sleep. She smoothed a few dark hairs from his forehead.

"As I grew older, Snoke began to groom me to be his right hand. He gave me a command, and the beginnings of my Killtroopers when I was fourteen. I trained them hard, into loyalty for me and only me. When I was seventeen, I was sent out for the first time. To Gan Moradir," Recognition lit Leia's eyes.

"I had orders to exterminate the rebels. And I did. But civilians came to their aid and forced our hand. We did not have the luxury of simply subduing them. We were an execution squad. Fifty people died that day. For nothing." Vex said, seeming almost confused.

"They died to defend their ideals," Ayla'Lyn said softly.

Vex gave a soft nod. "I know that now, but then, that meant nothing to me. All I knew was that if they'd stayed away, they would have lived. So I endeavored to make the galaxy fear me and my Killtroopers – so they'd hide instead of fight. I thought I was saving lives that way," she said quietly.

Leia laid a hand on her wrist. "You did the best you could, Vex. You succeeded, your face was plastered throughout the galaxy. All know who you are. Or were…"

"Why did you not cover your face, like Kylo Ren?" Ayla'Lyn asked curiously.

Vex dragged a hand down her face. "On that first mission, there was one survivor. He'd been apparently…enamored with me," she said, looking embarrassed, her cheeks pinkening. "Before Snoke had had him killed, he asked to see me. See my face before he died," Vex continued, avoiding the older women's eyes by fixing hers on her son. "After that, Snoke ruled that I could never wear a mask. That the beauty of my face was the only mercy those before me would receive,"

"It was no mercy for you," Ayla'Lyn murmured. Vex nodded, the pain on her features clear.

"Eventually, Kylo and I came to understand each other. He became my friend, of sorts. At that time, I'd fallen in love with one of my Killtroopers. Sin, I called him." Vex said, glancing towards the other two women. "Kylo Ren discovered our affair, and instead of telling Snoke, he helped me. He made me see sense. As long as Sin had the knowledge of our love in his head, he would be in danger,"

"What did he do?" Leia asked, eyes concerned.

"He sent Sin away, for those memories to be wiped away. So we wouldn't be discovered," Vex answered.

"That sounds cruel," Ayla'Lyn said.

Vex shrugged. "It was, perhaps. But Snoke would have killed Sin for being with me, so if he could not remember it… he'd be safe. It was through no fault of Kylo's when Sin died, some weeks later on a mission. It wasn't long after that that Snoke decided Kylo and I should produce an heir for him," she took in a deep breath, returning her gaze to her son.

"It was not easy. And for a time, I think, Kylo and I were in love. But each time Snoke took a child from us…it broke us. Broke me," she explained, shaking her head. "By the time, I became pregnant with Anakin, I was half-maddened by loss. I built EV-9 to help me escape, and eventually, Kylo discovered my plan. It didn't take much effort to convince him to help me,"

"So you escaped," Leia said.

"And the Force guided me to Luke. He cared for me and taught me how to be good. Be light. Delivered Anakin when he came and helped me care for him," Vex said.

"Why did you leave?" Ayla'Lyn asked.

"Because I was going to fight, one way or another. Luke wasn't willing to, so I knew I had to," Vex explained. She turned a guilty look towards Leia. "Luke made me swear upon my arrival to never reveal where he was. I'm sorry, Leia,"

As disappointed as Leia must have been, she still mustered a smile for Vex. "It's alright. We have you now, Vex. And it's more than we could have hoped for," she said, gaze turning to Anakin as he woke.

The dark-haired babe began to fuss the moment his eyes opened, arms stretching out for his mother as soon as he saw her. "May I?" Leia asked, hopefully. Vex nodded after a moment. The older woman stood and crossed over to the bassinet, gently picking Anakin up.

Anakin kept mumbling Mama, even as he regarded Leia warily, leaning back in her arms to put space between them. Vex stood, smoothing her hands down her pant legs. "Ani, this is your grandma. She's family," she spoke in a soft tone, reserved only for her son.

"Gamma?" he said, looking to Leia. His chubby hand rested on her shoulder, touching the twisted fabric there.

"Yes, Ani. Why don't you give Gamma a kiss?" Vex said, smiling encouragingly at her son. He seemed to agree, leaning forward and pressing a sloppy kiss to Leia's cheek.

Her eyes filled with tears, and she pressed kisses of her own to Anakin's chubby cheeks. "Thank you," Leia said, eyes turning to Vex. "Thank you for this," she repeated, voice trembling. Looking at the little boy, all Leia could see was Ben in him. Anakin looked just like his father.

* * *

 _33 ABY – Aleen System_

* * *

" _Over and over these past few years, you have done nothing but fail me,_ " Snoke growled out towards his last remaining apprentice. He paced back and forth on the raised dais before his throne, arms folded behind his back.

Kylo Ren knelt before him, face parallel with the floor. He didn't dare look up. He let his master rant on and on, keeping still. A sudden shock of pain went through him, startling him. " _Have you **nothing**_ _to say for yourself, Ren?_ "

He finally looked up, meeting Snoke's eyes. "What do you want me to say, Master?" Kylo asked, voice emotionless.

The expression on Snoke's face was nothing less than fury. Pain flickered inside Kylo, burning within his very bones. " _For almost two years now, you have been tasked with tracking Vex down. You've failed, Ren. Does the fact that your partner left you, stole your child away, mean **nothing** to you?!_" he spoke, stepping down from the dais to approach Kylo, who was forced to brace himself on the floor before him in order to stay upright.

" _Vex stole your child, **my** heir, away, Ren! Who knows if they still live?"_

Kylo gritted his teeth, tucking the pain away in a distant part of his mind. "Vex would never put our child in danger. That is why she left, Master. She was convinced that the child would only be safe if they left," he defended.

Snoke did not know that Kylo and Vex's child was a boy. That his name was Anakin, or that Kylo had seen Vex in a strange working of the Force. Or that Kylo had helped Vex escape. That he had been able to hide away within the recesses of his mind, using the strange trick Vex had taught him years ago. Snoke only knew that Kylo had been aware of her intentions. For that, he'd been punished.

" _The only place Vex and the child are truly safe is **here** , Ren. If anyone know who she truly was, they would not hesitate to harm them!_" Snoke shouted. The old man had done everything he could to convince Kylo of this, but he knew, deep in his heart, that the only place Vex and Anakin were safe was far, _far_ away from Snoke. Kylo never argued with his master, but Snoke _knew_ his heart wasn't in it.

Kylo sucked in a greedy breath as the pain at the back of his mind faded away. Snoke had let him be, for a moment at least. "She has shut herself off from me, Master. From the Force, I think. I have not felt her since she left," he said.

Snoke paused, glancing to the bowed and bent form before him. He sank onto the throne, eyes almost curious. " _Then you did not feel the stirring that I did, Ren. You've felt nothing?_ " he questioned.

Kylo frowned, rising to a more dignified position – down on one knee before Snoke. "I did not," he admitted.

Snoke waved a hand, almost dismissively. " _It was but a small tremor, but something has happened. It was Vex, I'm sure of it. She has left her hiding spot,_ " he said, leaning forward.

"How can you be sure?" Kylo questioned.

The old man let out a bitter laugh. " _She is the only other living Force-user besides those in this room, Ren – aside from that Skywalker,"_ he ridiculed, as if the idea were ludicrous. Snoke could not help but let disgust filter into his voice at the thought of Kylo's uncle and old master.

"You wish me to find her then," Kylo suggested, brows furrowing. Dread filled him at the thought. Why had Vex left the safe place she'd found? Had something happened? Was Anakin alright? _Snoke had felt it_ – how foolish could she be!?

" _No,_ " Snoke uttered lowly, resting his chin upon his fist. His eyes were careful and considering as he regarded Kylo Ren. He knew Snoke was in his mind, even now. He always was – it was why Kylo had to keep such care to keep his secrets hidden. _"It will be General Hux that tracks down my wayward daughter, and your child, Ren. It is clear you are not competent in this task,_ " he decreed.

A flame of anger lit within Kylo Ren, expression becoming indignant. "Hux would never be able to subdue Vex, if he _could_ find her," he insisted arrogantly. "Only you or I could,"

Snoke waved his hand lazily, as if in agreement. " _You are right, Ren. Hux could not. It will be you who is sent to subdue Vex, when he finds her. And if you fail in this task, if you **let** her slip through your fingers again…"_ Snoke growled, his powers freezing Kylo still, to ensure his full attention. " _It will be Vex who suffers for your failure. Your own pain seems to mean nothing to you anymore, Ren. If you fail to subdue Vex, I will change my order from capture to execution,_ " he continued, expression murderous as he regarded his apprentice.

" _Perhaps I will use you as my instrument, Ren. After I use your arms to lop off Vex's head, it will be your **son** that joins her in death next,_" Snoke threatened.

After keeping Kylo in his thrall for another moment to ensure he'd understood Snoke's words, he was released. Kylo collapsed to the floor, his limbs shaking from how tightly his muscles had held, the fear and anger that began to consume him. He dragged himself back up to his knees, fixing his gaze upon Snoke's, even as his lips trembled.

"I will not fail you, Supreme Leader," Kylo Ren promised, voice hoarse from emotion. He would do what he had to to protect his family. Even if it meant their unhappiness. He could only hope Vex was crafty enough to keep herself and their son hidden.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**


	21. Chapter 21

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 21**

 _33 ABY – D'Qar_

Poe couldn't imagine how that _woman_ had convinced Leia to trust her so easily. He'd seen them together – Leia holding the Reaper's son and snuggling him close, along with that Twi'lek woman that used to spy for her. As if they were some little family. Vex walked around the base freely – she was even allowed in the control room as they discussed strategies and plans.

He didn't know why it rankled him so much. Leia was a good judge of character – he _knew_ that. If Leia saw Vex as trustworthy, Poe believed her. But he couldn't shake this strange feeling… there was something about Vex that urged caution.

Poe believed that Vex had escaped the First Order in order to protect her son. But desperation drove people to do strange and terrible things. If she perceived a threat to the life of her son, she could, and Poe believed _would_ betray them.

"General," Poe greeted, hands on his hips.

Leia sighed, leaning forward in her seat to rest an elbow on the table before her. "Not this again, Poe," she groaned.

He sat down beside her, brushing a stray curl back from his forehead. "I just want to advise caution,"

Leia let out a sharp laugh. "You? Caution?" she questioned.

Poe sighed, loudly. "Yeah, I know, sounds rich coming from me, but there's jus something I don't trust about her," he acknowledged.

Leia sighed again, leaning back in her seat. "It's as you said when you brought her in, Poe. She's a mother, scared for her son. She's willing to fight for him, and for us. Poe, she's a Jedi. We can't lose her – we _need_ her," she chided, beginning to look angry.

"Despite what you might think, Poe, as much as I like you, I can't and won't put your suspicions above the well-being of the rebellion," she said vehemently as his expression contorted in shock. "You have _no_ idea what Vex went through to get here," Leia hissed, gripping him by the collar.

The shock that crossed Poe's face was only there for a moment. " _Fine_ , take her word over mine!" Poe growled, ripping away from Leia's grasp and stormed from the room, roughly shouldering past Vex in the doorway.

She flattened herself to the wall, eyebrows raised as she watched Poe leave in a huff. Leia groaned, slumping in her chair. "He's still suspicious," Vex murmured, stepping into the room. EV-9 whirled into the room after her, greeting Leia with a trill.

Leia let out a bitter chuckle, rubbing her forehead tiredly. "Oh, _yeah_ ," she muttered, letting out another sigh. "You're not helping anything by acting so aloof," Leia pointed out.

Vex hummed softly as she approached, dragging her fingers across the rough surface of the table, feeling the whorls of the wood grain. She leaned up against the edge, fingers twisting in her lap. Leia glanced up, seeing the younger woman's face creased with uncertainty. "I'm not trying to be like this. I…I just don't know how to get him to trust me. I was raised by Snoke, Leia. It shouldn't be a surprise that I'm not good at making friends," Vex prattled on, trailing off when Leia reached over and touched her hand.

"I get it, Vex, it's okay," Leia said gently, stroking a thumb over the back of Vex's hand in a motherly gesture. "It'd make my life a little easier if you did, though," she added, forcing a chuckle from the young woman.

Vex drew in a deep breath, pushing her thick, burgundy braid over her left shoulder. "I didn't come here to make your life easier. I came to keep Ani safe, and end the First Order," she said uneasily.

"I know," Leia said, patting her hand again.

Vex pushed away from the table, shaking off Leia's hand. "Then why haven't you sent him away yet? Every moment he's here, he's in danger. You _know_ that the First Order would destroy this place if they knew we were here, Leia. And you're just leaving Ani here?!" Vex questioned, pacing back and forth.

Leia stilled, leaning back in her seat. Her lips thinned. "He's in no more danger than the other children on this planet," she pointed out.

Vex froze in her spot, face paling. Her hands began to wring again. It took her a few moments to find her words again. "I know you want to spend time with Ani. It's not like I want to be away from him either. But he _is_ in more danger, Leia. Anakin is the son of the Reaper and the Jedi Killer. Snoke laid claim to him before he was even born. There's _nothing_ he wouldn't do to get his hands on my son! You swore to me-" Vex began, tone panicked.

"- I will, Vex!" Leia interrupted. She pushed her chair back from the table to stand. "We have to pick where Ayla'Lyn takes him carefully! It has to be a safe place among people we can trust," she reassured, making her way over to Vex. EV-9 tried to lend her comfort too, bumping her body against Vex's foot.

The older woman wrapped her arms around Vex's shoulders, allowing her to lean into the motherly embrace. Vex's voice was quiet when she spoke. "If I lose him, Leia…I will have no reason to go on. Without him, I would still be there. Under Snoke's thumb. Without Ani, there will be no light left in me. I don't want to be that person again,"

"I won't let that happen, Vex. I promise," Leia said, expression creasing with concern. "We'll start making preparations, right away, alright?"

Vex nodded, relaxing in Leia's grasp. It grieved Leia to have to send her newly discovered grandson away – especially before she could reach Han, but frankly she needed Vex more. And Vex had her heart set on Ayla'Lyn taking Anakin into hiding. There was no one else Leia would have trusted with the task, to be honest. But still, the thought of being separated from Anakin made her heart ache.

The business of leading rebellions made everything seem so impermanent. She could die at any moment and Leia would never see her family again. No Han, no Ben, no Luke. And now, no Anakin.

But the rebellion needed Vex more than Leia needed her grandson. And the galaxy needed the rebellion. Vex had already given them invaluable information about the inner workings of the First Order, of Snoke. She knew the terrible man better than anyone as his forcefully-adopted daughter. Leia now knew that he was arrogant, but powerful and cunning, and that Vex had learned much from him. She'd even devised her own little mind trick to hide her secrets from him.

Vex was worth any cow-towing Leia had to do to keep her happy. Not that she was demanding, Leia had to say. The only thing she wanted was her son to be kept safe. As painful as it was for Vex and Leia both. Otherwise, Vex had shown herself to be a quiet and thoughtful young woman, scarred by her painful upbringing at Snoke's hands. She was priceless to the rebellion.

Vex had even volunteered to teach her mind trick to those capable – few as they were. It required an awareness of their own mind and how to protect it – it came much more easily to those who were Force-sensitive. Vex had easily taught it to Leia and would begin teaching others in the next coming days.

Her intel was priceless. She'd told them how the Stormtroopers weren't evil. How when she'd been a child, just taken from her parents and Ayla'Lyn, they'd been the only ones to comfort her. That they were just like her, raised for their task and given no choice in the matter. How her Killtroopers were undoubtedly loyal to her and only her – and if she could reach them, they would defect to the rebellion to follow her.

And then, perhaps the most promising revelation was the implant behind Vex's ear. It was a small chip that allowed First Order personnel to avoid setting off alarm sensors. It could allow a rebellion spy to enter a First Order base undetected. Vex had allowed a med tech to remove hers so they could analyze it and attempt to replicate it.

The only possible downside of the intelligence Vex had delivered was that it could be outdated. She'd escaped the First Order almost two years ago now and had been kept cloistered in her quarters for a year before that. They would have to put out feelers to see if her information still held true – and figure out just what the First Order was working on now.

* * *

The moment Vex had left Leia's side, she knew he was following her. Even without EV-9 trilling out a warning, she'd felt him just a few steps behind her. She spun on her heel to face him, surprising the pilot on her heels. "Say what you have to say, get it over with," Vex growled out, hands tightening into fists at her sides.

All she'd wanted was to get Anakin and enjoy dinner with her son. But not with Poe Dameron haunting her every step. He'd followed and observed her for weeks now, and Vex had had _enough_.

Poe took a half-step back, surprised by her bluntness. He schooled his expression back to seriousness. "You could go back to the First Order anytime you want and be welcomed back with open arms. Especially with what you know about the rebellion now. Why haven't you?" he asked.

Vex flinched back as if she'd been struck, mouth falling open. That terrible blank expression swiftly slid back into place, but not before Poe had seen the pain in her eyes. "Just because I was kept well-fed and clothed, and had some small amount of autonomy didn't make me any less of a slave," she spat. "Snoke didn't need to put a collar around my neck to control me. He had _years_ to bend me to his will," she continued, closing the distance between them to grip the fabric of his shirt and shove him back against the wall.

Poe stayed still, silent, his eyes wide at the icy fury staring back at him. "Do you know what it feels like to have your mind pierced and then torn apart? To be tortured for the mere thought of rebellion? Escape?" Vex questioned coolly, even when her eyes burned with intensity. Poe was fixated by it. "I knew it when I was six, Dameron. What Snoke did to me then was child's play compared to what he'd do to me now, after what I've done," she hissed, releasing her grip on his shirt and stepping back.

Poe was still held to the wall, and by the way her hand was still outstretched, he knew it was the Force. "There is no one in the galaxy that has suffered more at Snoke's hands than me. Question my resolve in destroying him, and the First Order _again_ , Dameron. Push me _again_ and see how much of the dark side is left inside me," Vex warned, holding him just long enough to ensure he'd gotten the message.

After a few moments, Poe slid to the floor as she released him, hastily getting his feet beneath him to stand up as she turned away. There was a dark ball of shame and pain inside him, imagining the little girl Vex had once been – scared and alone in Snoke's grasp. "I get that you've been through terrible things, Vex," he began boldly. Vex froze where she was, wondering just how much of that bravery was stupidity. "But how can we trust you, knowing what you've done?" he questioned.

She turned her head to eye him, frown pulling at her features. "The only person who still seems to doubt me is you, Dameron. Perhaps the fault lies there. I have nothing to prove to you," Vex hissed, leaving without waiting for his response.

Poe considered her words thoughtfully, a heaviness in his chest. A sudden shock to his leg had a cry escaping his lips, forcing him to jump back. "Ow!" he yelled. EV-9, Vex's droid had shocked him, letting out a shrill list of uncouth warnings before following after her master.

"Dammit!" Poe muttered, thumping a fist against the wall.

* * *

Half an hour later, Vex was feeling much calmer. She'd gotten Anakin from Ayla'Lyn's care and taken him to the mess hall for dinner. Ever since their arrival here, Vex had begun to wean him off of her breast milk, and onto a diet of pureed fruits, vegetables, and meat. He was down to only one meal of her milk a day now, and within a week, she'd cut it away entirely.

She had to admit she'd miss the closeness of breast-feeding her son, but at the same time, she definitely felt less cowish. Feeding Ani with a spoon was a new and daunting task, as the little boy would rather play with the colorful foods than eat them. Eating took twice as long and twice as much persistence now.

In those weeks, Vex had made three tentative friends, though it was more through their determination than hers. Jessika Pava, Paige Tico and her perpetually late younger sister Rose had sat down at Vex's table the second night after she'd arrived. She'd been trying to feed Ani – for the very first time with pureed fruit, and the three young women had cooed over her boy as they ate. Ani had loved the attention, preening under their adoring gazes, and had made feeding even more difficult.

Vex had been uncomfortable and unsure at first, but the three women had been relentless. They sat down with her and Ani every night at dinner, and tried to draw her in to their conversation. It'd been four days before Vex had been brave enough to join in, and another three before she'd figured out how.

It wasn't like she had any real acquaintances in the First Order. The closest she'd been was her Killtroopers, and they'd been encoded to listen to her. And Kylo Ren definitely didn't count in experience making friends. But three weeks after her arrival, Vex had three solid, burgeoning friendships.

Gregarious Jessika Pava had led the operation. She was one of Poe's pilots, and very quick to point out that Poe was acting like a bonehead and wasn't really like that. Then there was bold Paige, who was in everlasting big sister mode, and seemed to be determined to take Vex on as a second sister.

And then there was quiet but definitely not timid Rose. There was a certain quiet kinship she shared with Vex. Thirsty for knowledge, Rose had endless questions about all the things Vex had seen – mostly for the tech. Vex had happily given her an old datapad loaded with old books and manuals she'd used when building EV-9.

They'd even begun tinkering together, beginning to build a new droid modeled after EV-9 with a sleek, round body. Rose and Vex shared a love of the mechanics and it had startled her with just how quickly the friendship between them had grown when she wasn't even looking.

Rose sought her out each morning at breakfast to discuss their plans for the day, and when they'd meet to tinker. Once there, they worked together seamlessly, designing the new droid EV-9 dreaded would replace her. It'd taken Vex much reassurance to convince the droid she was safe and would always remain at her side.

Rose was two years younger than Vex at twenty-one, and had a certain naivete about her that was unfamiliar to Vex. Rose was sweet and kind and untried in this cruel galaxy. She was easily swayed and sometimes tricked, though her loyalty was unshakeable. A quiet girl with stars in her eyes. Vex didn't know that feeling. Rose had made it to twenty-one with her innocence still intact. Vex didn't think she'd lasted past three.

* * *

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	22. Chapter 22

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 22**

 _33 ABY – D'Qar_

"You're unbelievable, you know that, right?" Jessika scolded, slapping Poe on the chest.

"Don't forget annoying," Paige piped up behind him, accompanied by the swift slap to the back of Poe's head as she stepped past him to stand at Jessika's side.

Poe pouted over at his friends. "What's with the slapping?" he groaned, rubbing the back of his head. The two women simply looked at him, clearly feeling no pity. "I just don't get it. You're going to let the _Reaper_ play around in your heads," Poe said, genuinely confused.

Jessika and Paige traded an exasperated look. "First of all, _no_ ," Jessika insisted. "Vex is teaching us to protect our minds and how to protect ourselves and the resistance if someone _did_ try to interrogate us,"

"You'd think you'd be first in line, Poe," Paige pointed out. "It's _you_ General Organa always sends out in her secret missions. How would you protect our secrets if the First Order caught you?" she questioned.

"I'd never tell them anything!" Poe said, disgusted by the mere thought.

"As if you'd have a choice if you came up against someone with powers over the Force!" Jessika argued.

Poe drew back, brows furrowed as if he'd never considered it before. Paige stepped forward, laying a hand on his arm. "Why don't you just come with us? Jessika and I'll keep the two of you civil," she suggested gently. Jessika nodded along in approval.

"She won't want me there," Poe said, looking hesitant. In that moment, the two women knew they had him.

"Alright, Poe, I know you're not going to want to hear this, but listen," Jessika began, stepping forward and taking hold of Poe's other hand. He sucked in a breath, turning his eyes towards her. "Vex is really trying, Poe," she continued, only for him to open his mouth to argue.

Paige quickly covered his mouth with her hand to stem his coming barrage. "It's hard for you to see because you're, well, talented with people. Think about how Vex grew up. This is probably the first time in her life when she's ever had to make friends," Jessika explained.

"She's told us, Poe," Paige followed. "She doesn't know what to do about you,"

" _Do_ about me? Like I'm such a problem?" Poe protested, brow furrowing.

"You've never acted like this towards someone before, Poe. You've _never_ treated someone so suspiciously," Paige said.

"We've never had a First Order defector before. Especially one we _know_ has killed so many," Poe retorted.

"Poe!" Jessika scolded, slapping him on the arm. "Vex would not have brought Anakin here if she had _any_ nefarious intent. If you spent _any_ time with her, you'd know Vex loves him more than life itself. And she's trusted General Organa with him," she explained.

Paige nodded vigorously in agreement. "Show Vex the same charming, friendly Poe that you show us," she said.

"It's going to have to be you to extend the olive branch, Poe. Vex doesn't know how," Jessika told him.

Poe sighed, eyes lowering to the floor. "Alright," he voiced quietly. "I'll try."

* * *

It'd taken less than five minutes for Poe to put his foot back in his mouth in Vex's presence. From the moment he'd arrived with Jessica and Paige, Vex had seemed ill at ease with his presence there. Her eyes constantly darted to him as she spoke, explaining what she would teach them, as if she expected him to pull a blaster on her at any moment.

If he had to admit it, Poe had been less than kind to Vex. He'd seen her cloaked in the streets of the town, a flash of her lightsaber on her hip and he'd accosted her. He'd unknowingly pointed a blaster at her son – something Poe had never meant to do.

When he'd told Leia he'd suspected Vex to be a scared mother, he wasn't lying. Everything about her simply screamed desperation – and the way she'd reacted to the blaster in the boy's direction? She'd obviously had reason to fear for her son's life. Poe believed Vex's story, believed her intentions.

But there was just something in his gut that told him something wasn't quite right. Not that something was wrong, per se, but something inside Poe told him Vex was different. And she was different. Entirely unlike anyone Poe had ever known. Not that he knew her well, of course. He would never pretend that.

It was his gut feeling that made him act this way. That, and the fact that if she chose to, Vex could quite easily destroy the rebellion singlehandedly. Poe had felt the power with which she channeled the Force, pinning him in place. It was like trying to move while cased in cement – _hopeless_. If Vex had chosen to, she could have easily killed him. That's why he was acting so suspicious, trying to advise Leia to use caution.

It wasn't that Poe thought Vex would betray them, it was the thought that she _could_. She had more reason than most to oppose the First Order, but she had a much greater potential to destroy the rebellion as well. She was strong enough. Poe didn't know if anyone could stop her if she tried.

But Poe couldn't sense anything other than good intentions as Vex explained her intent on teaching the three of them to shield their minds. He could see her anxiety caused by his presence, but that was it. And for _some_ reason he couldn't, that irked him. Poe wasn't the danger to others, _she_ was!

"Would you like me to leave?" Poe said suddenly, interrupting Vex mid-sentence. Jessika immediately threw an elbow into his ribs, drawing a groan from his throat.

Vex's cold gaze focused on him, delicate lips tilting into a frown. "Why do you think I'd want you to leave, Commander Dameron?" she questioned in the utmost politeness. He knew why, and so did she. He could see it in her eyes.

"You seem nervous having me here," Poe answered anyway, ignoring the two other women in the room. Jessika and Paige had fixed him with glares powerful enough to melt ice.

Vex exhaled heavily, tensing slightly as she crossed her legs before her. All four of them in the room sat on pillows on the floor in a relaxed position. "You doubt my faithfulness to the cause. Of course I am unsettled by you showing up here unannounced," she replied calmly.

"It's our fault, Vex," Paige interrupted, leaning forward. "Poe was being insufferable, and we thought we could help," she explained.

Vex's eyes flickered towards her friend, the ice of her gaze softening. "I understand, Paige. I'm afraid I don't think Commander Dameron and I will ever be able to be friends," she pointed out in a gentler manner than Poe expected.

Poe sighed, rolling his eyes. The Jedi's laser-eyes swiftly returned to him. "Or perhaps he does not think he needs this training. As I understand it, General Organa trusts you with many secrets, Commander Dameron," Vex remarked, in an entirely more formal tone than Poe was used to.

He didn't know if he preferred this unruffled, unable to be perturbed Vex more than the one who raged and fought with him. At least he'd known the latter was genuine. "She does," Poe said proudly, chest puffing out.

Jessika was shaking her head next to him, rubbing a hand across her face. " _Idiot_ ," she muttered under her breath. Poe flashed her a quick look of confusion before Vex spoke again.

"If you were ever captured, god forbid, do you really think you'd be able to hide your secrets from Kylo Ren or Snoke?" Vex questioned. Her expression was smooth, no hint of emotion. Poe was sure that spelled trouble.

"I would _never_ tell them anything," he said quickly. And then Vex began to laugh – a bitter, low noise escaping her throat. Poe couldn't help but be affronted, his brows drawing low. "I wouldn't!"

Vex tried to stifle her mirth by covering her mouth with a hand, drawing in a deep breath. "Of course not! Not voluntarily, of course. I believe that, Dameron, I promise," she said, breathing quickly to urge her laughter away. It took a moment, but her expression became empty once more. "If you were captured, you'd be sent to be tortured to reveal what you knew. If you could hold out against the First Order's low-level officers, eventually Kylo Ren would come to you. And while you were in blinding pain from your torture, you wouldn't even realize that he had slipped into your mind and taken what you knew," Vex explained, gaze focused on Poe alone.

She didn't want to see the horror that were undoubtedly painted on her friends' faces. No, she only wanted Poe to understand. As spooked as he clearly was, he didn't seem convinced. "Shall I prove it to you, then? How easy it is for a trained Force-user to steal information?" Vex suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"This is a bad idea," Jessika interjected, brows furrowed.

"How?" Poe questioned.

"Ask me a question. Something I couldn't possibly know. I will invade your mind and find the answer," Vex answered.

Poe pondered the idea for a moment before nodding. "Fine," he muttered. Vex waved her hand as if to tell him to go on. "Tell me the name of the first girl I ever kissed,"

Vex nodded as if to signal her understanding and let her eyes flutter shut. Her brows furrowed as she sought out the answer. Poe wondered if he should feel something – something _bad_ , but all he felt was a slight prickle behind his eyes. It didn't hurt, it was just _there_. As if his mind was trying to tell him something was there that oughtn't be.

"Akiva Foss," Vex said suddenly, eyes still shut. All the breath left Poe's lungs in a whoosh. The prickle behind his eyes was gone. "The girl you first kissed was your childhood friend, Akiva. She was crying because her older sisters had told her she was ugly. You kissed her and told her she was the most beautiful girl in the galaxy," she continued softly, as if she was witnessing the memory herself. "She took ill the next year and passed away. I'm sorry," Vex said, brows knitting together.

Poe simply looked at her, jaw hanging open. The sting of that wound had long since passed. But the discomfort etched into Vex's expression told him she felt it now. Her eyes opened after a moment, looking at him carefully. Differently. Poe wondered what she saw now that she hadn't seen before. Paige gently touched his elbow, looking moved by the sweet memory.

"Do you believe me now?" Vex asked. Poe nodded swiftly. "What did you feel when I was in your mind?" she asked, almost curiously.

Poe let out a breath, trying to put the feeling into words. "A prickle. Like an itch that didn't itch, if that makes sense," he said.

Vex nodded slowly, as if considering his words. "I didn't want to hurt you. I promise you, if you should ever fall into First Order hands, Kylo Ren and Snoke would be much less gentle than I," she said decisively.

Her eyes left his and Poe felt strangely bereft in a way he couldn't describe. He believed her. He'd never met a trained Force-user until Vex, so he'd had no real concept of their power. Poe had always suspected Leia had a touch of the Force about her, but she'd obviously chosen not to pursue it like her brother had. Vex had just shown him how easy it would be for someone like her to take all he'd held sacred.

That strange feeling in Poe's gut was still there. He didn't know what it was, but it twisted nervously at the thought of Vex. She was someone he simply didn't understand, and that concerned him. He normally had such a talent with people, but with Vex, all he seemed to do was put his foot in his mouth. Poe just didn't get it. What in the hell was making him act this way?

* * *

Leia wasn't exactly sure what had happened between Poe and Vex lately, but she knew something had changed. Ever since he'd attended Vex's training, they'd been acting different. Not a bad different, but _weird_.

Poe was the reticent one now. When he and Vex were in the same room, he'd avoid looking at her or engaging her. Vex however, when she'd done everything to avoid him, now seemed to watch him often, with a considering expression on her features.

Leia knew better than to ask either of them what had happened. Both were as obtuse about their own feelings as the other. Where Poe sometimes had trouble identifying his, Vex would _never_ vocalize hers. So she thought, instead, she'd put them in a situation where they had to settle things between them. One way or another. Whether it was enmity or friendship between them, Leia couldn't have them vacillating between the two.

Poe and Vex would head out on a mission together to recover information on the new base the First Order was building on a planet that would supposedly be powerful beyond the galaxy's worst nightmare. Beyond Leia's personal agenda for pairing the two, she had logical reasons as well. Poe was experienced in carrying out covert missions when Vex was not. Vex was experienced in dealing with the First Order and extracting information where Poe was not.

They would go to Ibaar, where many First Order officers apparently spent their shore leave. It would be easy to accost one or two and extract information about the new base. It should be a quick mission, in and out – provided they didn't get discovered. That was why Leia had decided they should take Vex's ship. As a First Order craft itself, it would look much more ordinary on Ibaar along with the other officers' ships.

Poe hadn't been happy about leaving his X-wing behind, but couldn't deny his excitement at getting his hands on a First Order craft. It was a larger and faster ship, with better weapons and cloaking. For their mission, it was a godsend. Leia only wished they had more just like it.

She'd given them three days to get ready. If it weren't for Anakin, Leia would have given them less time. But she knew this would be the first time Vex would be without her son. She gave her three days to adjust to the idea of leaving Anakin behind with her and Ayla'Lyn. A preparation for when she'd send him away.

Now, watching Vex as she was about to leave had a guilty feeling roiling around in Leia's stomach. She didn't doubt her decision. Vex squeezed her son close, peppering his face with kisses. She spoke to Ayla'Lyn quickly, no doubt giving instructions as though the Twi'lek woman had never cared for a child before, much less hers. Leia knew that feeling. She'd been the exact same way with Ben once, and watching Vex do the same with Ben's son had Leia feeling all sorts of things.

Leia hoped beyond all things that she was doing the right thing for them all.

* * *

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 **I know you are reading. I know it sounds kind of silly, but it really helps me continue writing when I know I have someone cheering me on. So right now, I'd simply like to thank every person that's reviewed. You are the reason I still write this.**

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	23. Chapter 23

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 23**

 _33 ABY – Ibaar_

Ibaar had suffered under the First Order's rule, like many other planets. It was a mountainous, agrarian planet whose resources had been sucked up by the First Order. There was only one major city, Fimery, that served as the First Order's vacation destination. A pleasure town with casinos, races, and bars – and all sorts of strange, seedy activity underground.

The Ibaarian people here were starving, but First Order officers flocked here regardless. It wasn't easy to see past the shiny façade of Fimery unless you knew what to look for. The thin faces of the natives, working hard to put food on the table. The racing fathiers had welts along their necks and sides from the crops the jockeys used. The thin, raggedy children that cared for them.

Vex had immediately seen through the glitzy appearance of the city. She was intimately familiar with the concept of things not being as they appeared. She knew things were different beneath the surface.

Poe hadn't, at first. He'd looked about the city in awe, with stars in his eyes. But it hadn't taken him long, Vex had to admit. They'd made their way to one of the less ritzy bars and taken seats towards the back, careful to keep their distance from others. Vex was veiled, her face immediately recognizable, unlike Poe's.

He hadn't understood her derision of Fimery at first. But as they sat in the bar and watched the First Order officers come through, Poe had begun to figure it out. He'd seen how the staff looked thin and miserable-looking, forced smiles on their faces despite the fancy clothing they wore. How the customers treated them, rudely taking what they wanted and giving little in return. The women were scantily-clad and young, delivering drinks and often tugged into men's laps and touched without their consent – not that they _could_ object if they wanted to eat that night.

After no more than ten minutes in the bar, Poe's awe had faded. He turned a look of confusion towards Vex, her eyes knowing. "There are places like this all over the galaxy. The First Order takes everything from them, forcing the people to work for scraps," she explained in a hushed tone.

"It's not right," Poe whispered back.

Vex nodded. "Ninety percent of the Ibaarian people live here, in Fimery, because it's the only place you can make money in order to survive. Everything else they had is gone," she told him. Poe's lips thinned into a firm line, brows setting low. His body was tense, clearly he wanted to act. He was shaken from his anger by a soft hand covering his.

Poe glanced down, finding Vex's hand on top of his. Her skin was just a touch lighter than his, white scars crisscrossing the flesh. He looked up to find her piercing blue eyes looking right back at him. "There's nothing we can do right now, Poe," Vex murmured. "This is a covert mission. We can't make a fuss. We can come back after the First Order's gone, and change things," she reminded him.

Poe nodded stiffly, leaning back in his seat beside her. Vex didn't withdraw her hand right away, her eyes still considering him. After a moment, her warm hand drew back, settling back within the darkness of her clothing.

He was still angry, but he comforted himself with Vex's words. It was true they couldn't do anything now. But once the First Order was gone, they could come back and help the Ibaarian people. Poe glanced towards Vex, finding her watchful eyes on the customers now. He quite liked the thought of returning here with her in the future, bringing a reckoning down on those who'd done this to Ibaar.

"Stop! Let _go_!" a low, urgent voice cried. Poe and Vex's eyes shot to the young woman who'd just been tugged into an officer's lap. She was young, no more than sixteen with wild blonde hair and a skimpy blue outfit. The girl was barefoot, struggling against the man's hold. His hands were iron bands around the girl's wrists.

No one was helping her. They just averted their eyes. Poe stiffened, beginning to rise. He was halted by that same warm hand covering him. Vex wasn't so gentle this time, nails digging into his hand. " _Don't_ ," she warned.

Poe glanced at her for a moment. "I'm sorry, I can't let this go," he muttered in response, rising to his feet. "Let her go!" Poe growled, storming over to the disturbance.

The man simply laughed, holding the girl tighter. "Friend, this is Fimery's business. I'll do what I please with the girl, and you'll do the same with your own," he said, nodding back towards Vex, who hadn't moved from her seat.

Poe sucked in a deep breath, fists forming at his sides. "The girl clearly doesn't want to be touched, so let her go, now," he demanded. The man only laughed again, turning back to his drink. Poe's hands shot out, pulling the girl from his grasp forcefully. The girl hit the ground with a startled cry, immediately scrambling to her feet and fleeing the room.

The man jumped to his feet, mouth opening to shout before Poe's fist collided with his face. He staggered back, clutching his face as security swarmed into the room. "This is _business_ , you idiot! The girl was going to get paid! And now she won't have money for dinner, because of you!" the man growled.

"Unwilling is unwilling! No matter if you're going to pay for it!" Poe shouted back, forced to his knees as one security guard cuffed him, another pointing a blaster at him. He was hefted to his feet and led towards the exit. Poe flashed his eyes desperately towards Vex, who had never moved.

"Sir, we'll need you to come with us and file a statement," a guard told the man behind him.

"Alright, alright," the man grumbled following behind them.

Poe couldn't believe it. Vex was just going to _let_ them arrest him? As he was led out the door, she never so much as glanced in his direction. Perhaps this was the betrayal. Her way to get back to the First Order. Sent out on a mission, let her partner get arrested. Return victorious.

But the small moment of doubt was all it was. He wouldn't risk revealing her in case she had some sort of plan, even though all Poe wanted to do was yell and beg for her help. He'd wait. Be patient – as patient as Poe could ever be.

Three security guards led Poe out of the bar and onto the darkened streets, the man he'd hit following behind. He didn't regret his actions, he'd be proud of punching that man for as long as he lived. But it _had_ gotten him arrested. And he did regret that.

Oh god, he hoped like hell that Vex had a plan.

It was nearly ten minutes later when Poe heard light footsteps behind them. The steps were faint, and several yards back from them – the others didn't seem to hear. The streets were dark and empty now, and Poe hoped beyond all hope it was Vex following behind them.

There was a low, sudden thud behind them, a blaster firing, and then a low cry. The guards spun around, tugging Poe with them. The First Order officer Poe had punched was crumpled against a wall, cradling his head. He'd been thrown. "What the hell?!" the guard holding Poe's arm muttered.

Poe's eyes caught a quick flash of silver in the shadows of an alley. The sharp hum of a lightsaber being ignited, followed by the appearance of a violet blade. _Vex_. "A Jedi!?" another guard questioned in disbelief as Vex approached in swift steps, one holding her outstretched lightsaber, another held out in a familiar position.

"You will release this man now," Vex ordered in a deadly tone. Poe glanced to the men beside him, their eyes going blank.

"I will release this man now," the three guards echoed. The guard's grip from Poe's arm fell away.

"You will uncuff this man," Vex said. Again, the three guards echoed her words and followed her order. The cuffs fell from Poe's wrists, and he immediately crossed the distance to stand beside Vex.

"You had me a little worried there," he said, rubbing his wrists. Vex flashed him a glance, her eyebrow lifted, before her gaze quickly refocusing on the guards. She stepped forward, lightsaber held ready as she moved to approach them.

Poe's arm whipped out, catching her by the shoulder. "What are you _doing_?" he questioned in disbelief. Vex's eyes turned to him, filled with confusion. _She didn't get it_. Poe's breath left him in a rush, his shoulders slumping. "You don't have to hurt them," he said softly.

Vex's eyes flickered between him and them. "I can make them forget," she suggested in a slightly questioning tone. Poe nodded swiftly. _The fact that she didn't need to hurt them didn't even occur to her._ Vex acknowledged it with a nod of her own, extinguishing her lightsaber and sliding it back into place on her belt.

She stepped forward, more confidently this time, arms outstretched. "You will forget you ever saw us," Vex ordered.

"I will forget I ever saw you," the three guards said blankly.

"There was no altercation in the bar," she added, the guards echoing her again. "This man was drunk and fell. Help him," Vex directed, gesturing to the officer unconscious against the wall. The three guards rushed towards him, pulling him to his feet and leading him in another direction.

Vex turned back to Poe. "We need to get back to the ship," she said urgently.

"What about the intel?" Poe questioned, stepping towards her.

"I've got it," Vex said. "The officer you hit. I invaded his mind as I followed you," she explained, starting back towards the ship.

Poe fell into step with her. "You're sure? What did you find out?" he questioned. Vex replied with a quick shake of her head, to signal she wouldn't say it out in the open. So Poe shut his mouth and followed her to the ship.

It wasn't until they crossed into the bright light of the docking bay that Poe saw the trail of blood behind them. "Vex!" he uttered lowly, closing the distance between them. It was then that he saw how she clutched at her side beneath the dark, voluminous cloak.

Her eyes caught his, and he saw the brief bloom of worry in them. "The _ship_ ," she growled. Poe took her arm, guiding her towards her ship quickly. "Get us out of here," Vex said, casting off her cloak as soon as the boarding ramp closed. EV-9 immediately unplugged, whirling towards her master with a string of concerned tweets.

"You need treatment," Poe said, following after her as she headed towards the bunks.

Vex turned an exasperated look back towards him, hand bloody as it pressed to her side. "Get us off this rock _first_ , Dameron, we can't risk being caught," she instructed. Poe opened his mouth to argue, only for Vex to cut him off. "I'm _fine_ , EV-9 will treat me," she said, trying to reassure him.

"Fine," Poe said finally. "I'll be back once the course is set," he said, heading for the cockpit. Poe slid into the pilot's seat, powering up the ship and lifting out of the docking bay. Once they were out of the system, he slid out of the seat and headed back. "EV-9, I got it from here. Keep an eye on the flight, please," Poe requested.

EV-9 tweeted in agreement, dropping off from the bunk and whirring towards her station. He froze when he looked at her. Vex had had to take off her shirt for the ugly-looking wound on her side to be treated. By baring her flesh, Poe now saw all the scars painting her skin. _So many_. Vex exhaled heavily, turning a glare back at him from where she sat with her back to him.

Her expression changed when she saw the way Poe was looking at her. His jaw dropped open, brows furrowed. The look of bewilderment in his eye. She looked away from him swiftly. "I can do it myself if looking at me is too hard," Vex growled out.

Poe immediately started towards her, shaking his head. "It's not like that, Vex. It's just… I didn't know," he said quietly, turning his eyes away from her scars to the wound. EV-9 had cleaned it and staunched the bleeding – it only needed to be bandaged now. He swiftly tore into the bacta-bandages, gently applying it to the wound.

"I haven't hid it," Vex said suddenly, her gaze fixed ahead of her. She didn't _want_ to look at him. "And you didn't want to know. You wanted to hate me," she accused, body tensing beneath his hands.

Poe's head snapped up to stare at the back of hers, and the fall of burgundy hair over one shoulder, leaving her back bare. Over her shoulder, he could see the datapad in her hands, playing a recording of her son over and over. _She missed him_ , Poe realized with a startling ache in his chest. Somehow he doubted Vex had never been away from Anakin before. "I never hated you," he said quietly, carefully smoothing the bandage over the exit wound before moving to bandage where the blast had entered.

"Coulda fooled me," Vex retorted swiftly. Poe didn't know what to say to that, so he stayed quiet and worked in silence. It only took a few moments to apply the bacta-bandages, but his hands lingered to smooth them into proper place. By the way Vex stiffened beneath his touch, she knew it too.

The scars that painted her back were thick and red, some with raised edges, and some white and smooth. Some were recent, no more than a few years old. Some were old, old enough to concern Poe. They spoke of a pain he couldn't imagine.

"How did this happen to you?" Poe asked finally, after a long silence. He searched among the drawers to hand her a clean shirt, which she accepted gratefully.

"This is how Snoke trains his apprentices," Vex answered after a moment, tugging the gray shirt over her head. It was one of Poe's – it was too large for Vex, baring her collar and arms as her clothing rarely did. Poe knew why now – anything less than her high-collared, long-sleeved clothing left her scars exposed. He felt sick.

"The First Order has the best technology in the galaxy. They easily could have healed you without leaving a scar," Poe pointed out, settling on the other side of the bunk. He was careful to keep a few feet between them, having no wish to make Vex feel threatened.

Vex exhaled heavily, turning those powerful, icy blue eyes towards him. "They're a reminder of my failures, many as they are," she said softly. The pain in her eyes was unbearable.

Poe wanted nothing more than to comfort her, but he didn't know how. His instinct was to embrace her, but he knew that would be unwelcome. So he turned his eyes away for a moment, Adam's apple bobbing dangerously for a moment. "How did they get you?" Poe asked, returning his gaze to her. He wouldn't be so disrespectful as to ask for answers without looking at her.

"Didn't Leia tell you?" Vex asked, wrapping her arms around herself as she leaned back against the edge of the bunk. Poe shook his head. "My mother and father gave me to them," she said.

Poe launched out of the seat, pacing angrily in front of her. "How could they do such a thing? Give your child away to the First Order?" he questioned. The emotions swirling within Poe now were overwhelming. He was confused, angry, and heartbroken all merged in one. How could Vex live, knowing her parents had given her away to the man who'd tortured her for years?

"My name is Vex, Poe," she began, stopping him in his tracks. Poe looked at her in confusion. "You don't name someone you love Vex. That's what you call someone you never wanted," Vex said indifferently.

The way she said it – like it didn't _matter_. Like she felt _nothing_. Vex had been betrayed, over and over again since she was a child. It made so much sense to Poe now. "I can't imagine…" he began thickly.

"Of course you can't, Poe. You can't understand because your parents loved you," Vex pointed out matter-of-factly. Pressure was beginning to build at the back of Poe's eyes. "No one came to save me when I was a child. Not when they took me, not when Snoke told me he was my father now. Not when he tortured me. That's why I am the way I am," she explained.

Angry tears were beginning to escape Poe's eyes. He brushed them away furiously, stalking over to sit beside her on the bunk again. "I'm sorry, Vex," Poe said, not knowing what else to say.

Vex drew herself up, eyes searching his. "You'll never understand, Poe. The way I grew up…my first instinct was to kill those guards. It didn't even occur to me that I didn't have to hurt them," she said quietly. Poe slowly reached out, covering her hand with his. She stared at his hand over hers for a long moment before continuing.

"I have to fight _so_ hard, _all_ the time, to stay in the light of the Force, Poe. I was raised in the dark, Poe, it's what comes easily. All those things you just _know_ are right or wrong, they don't come easy to me," Vex confided, icy blue eyes finding his.

Poe squeezed her hand lightly. "I can help with that," he said, with an encouraging smile.

A smile Vex tentatively returned, fingers squeezing his back.

"What did you learn from that officer?" Poe asked, returning to the reason for their mission.

The shy smile that had made Vex so much younger – only _twenty-four_ , vanished. "It's worse than we could have imagined, Poe. They're building a Starkiller base," she began, hands beginning to wring in her lap. A familiar gesture now. "It absorbs the power of a star and redirects it as a weapon. It could destroy whole systems," Vex warned, expression troubled.

"Holy shit," Poe uttered, mirroring her expression. "How close are they to utilizing it?" he questioned.

"Weeks, maybe," Vex answered, brows drawn low. "I need to send Anakin to safety – but what if they choose the system I send him to?" she considered, looking distraught.

Poe squeezed her hand again, scooting a bit closer. "They wouldn't choose any old system, Vex. It'd have to be important. To the New Republic, to the Resistance. I think I have an idea of where Anakin would be safe," he said.

Vex's eyes found his, uncertain but hopeful. "You trust the people there?" she asked.

"Without question."

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my two reviewers who read my author's note and made me feel very much appreciated last chapter, Mstngsali1 and PtLacky. You rock!

Fimery is my creation, based on Canto Bight but not as ritzy, I suppose. Ibaar is a real planet in Star Wars-verse, which, as I read, was in the midst of a famine as a result of the First Order. I created the details.

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	24. Chapter 24

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 24**

 _34 ABY – Outer Rim Territories_

When they'd returned to D'Qar, Vex and Poe had immediately gone to Leia to deliver the bad news. Learning about Starkiller Base had appropriately horrified her. Her second thought, after the wellbeing of the galaxy, was the same as Vex's. Anakin needed to be sent away – _now_.

That was when Poe had made his suggestion. Yavin 4. It was a planet where a lot of rebel activity had gone on during the Galactic Civil War, but it had been quiet since. Poe's parents had served there as pilots in the Alliance Fleet. They'd settled there to raise a family, raise Poe. His father still lived there, and Poe knew he'd happily offer shelter to Anakin and Ayla'Lyn.

Leia had thought the idea sensible, especially liking the idea of Anakin remaining in rebel territory. Vex had agreed reluctantly, her doubt lying in the fact that Yavin 4 was historically associated with rebellion. Poe knew she'd agreed in the end because she trusted them. Trusted _him_.

Poe didn't want to shake her faith in him. He didn't want to lose that shaky trust. So he'd volunteered to take Anakin and Ayla'Lyn out to Yavin 4 himself. It'd been a small comfort to Vex, who suddenly only had a day to spend time with her son before having to say goodbye for the foreseeable future.

Poe didn't see them much for that time as he prepared for the trip. Vex had been sequestered away in her quarters with Anakin, and Leia spent all her free time with them. He'd be taking Vex's ship again – his X-wing was too small and uncomfortable for two days of travel with two passengers. EV-9 would be going too – leaving behind her mistress and staying with Anakin and Ayla'Lyn on Yavin 4. Vex had insisted. Her droid had been around since before Anakin had been born and had helped Vex care for him since.

Watching Vex say goodbye to her son was painful. Tears leaked from her eyes as she clutched Anakin close, murmuring to him lowly. The boy's chubby hands clung to her, not entirely aware of what was going on, but he knew his mother was upset. He continually mumbled "Mama," in her ear.

Leia stood back, eyes filled with tears, but she didn't move to approach. She must have said her goodbyes in private. Vex finally handed her son to Ayla'Lyn, who embraced her and whispered words of comfort before boarding the ship.

As Anakin disappeared from sight, Vex let out a noisy sob, back bowing. Leia moved to her side, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Poe," Vex said brokenly, her red-rimmed eyes finding his. Poe made his way over.

"I'll protect him, Vex. Don't worry," he said before letting out a sigh, planting a hand on his hip. "Who am I kidding? I can't tell you not to worry," Poe continued, shaking his head. This prompted a half-hysterical laugh from Vex. Poe looked up to see a smile fighting to emerge on her features, even as tears escaped her eyes.

Vex sucked in a deep breath, trying to quell her wracking sobs. "Will you stay with Ani a day or two? To make sure he's settled?" she asked.

The request took both Leia and Poe by surprise. Words failed him, so Poe found himself nodding rather stupidly. "Of course," he managed finally. "I swear to you, Vex. I won't leave until I'm certain Anakin is safe and happy," Poe promised.

Vex managed a weak smile, hand reaching out to him. Poe quickly moved to take it, squeezing it lightly. "Thank you," she said, voice hoarse from crying.

Poe returned her smile. "What are friends for?" he replied.

 **Two Days Later**

"Vex, this isn't healthy. You need sleep," Rose Tico pointed out, looking exasperated beyond all measures. The burgundy-haired woman gave no sign of having heard her friend, still bent over the workbench in the cramped, cluttered workshop they shared. Rose heaved a loud sigh, approaching Vex with her hands on her hips.

The Jedi had retreated to the workshop not long after her son's departure, and in the two days since – she hadn't left. Instead, Vex worked tirelessly on the droid she and Rose had designed. If it hadn't been for her friends bringing food to her and forcing her to take short breaks in order to eat, Rose was sure Vex wouldn't have stopped at all.

Deep purple bruises were etched beneath her eyes, and her burgundy locks were greasy and untidily pinned up into a bun. Her clothes were wrinkled and stained with grease from the different parts and tools. "Vex, come on. BB-8 can wait," Rose pleaded, grabbing at her arm to force her to stop, if only for a moment.

Vex looked up, finally, her eyes glazed from lack of sleep. "I wanted to give BB-8 as a gift for Poe – a thank you," she said, voice slow and deliberate.

Rose sighed again, fingers curling around Vex's arm. "Poe would want you to rest. So would Anakin," she retorted, not looking the slightest bit guilty as the Vex's eyes widened. "Let's go now, or I'm coming back with a blaster," the younger woman threatened. With her eyes still wide in surprise, Vex allowed Rose to escort her out of the workshop.

 **Yavin 4**

Poe stood just outside the doorway of Anakin's new bedroom, watching with a smile as the little boy wandered the room in wonder. He held up a datapad, recording Anakin as he joyously explored each and every crevice of his new home. Vex hadn't asked, but Poe knew it would bring her great comfort. It was only once Ayla'Lyn stepped in to settle the toddler for a nap that Poe turned off the recording, lowering the datapad.

Kes Dameron leaned against the wall in the hallway, dark eyes keenly observing his son. Poe resembled his father completely, except for being a little shorter and stockier. And his smile. His smile belonged to his mother, Shara. Kes kept his dark hair short and tidy, tinged with gray now. "This Vex must be one hell of a woman," Kes said suddenly, catching his son's attention.

Poe turned towards his father, eyebrow crooked up in surprise. Kes gestured towards the hall, pushing off and starting towards the kitchen. "What do you mean?" he asked, following Kes down the hall.

Kes flashed him a crooked grin as he walked. "You wouldn't bring just anyone here, Poe. You wouldn't ask me to shelter someone if they weren't important to you. I know you. You wouldn't risk revealing me," he explained, settling on a stool at his kitchen counter.

Poe set the datapad down on the counter, leaning against the surface. His brows furrowed as he tried to come up with an explanation, knowing perfectly well his father was right. "Who is the boy, really?" Kes questioned in a hushed tone.

"I told you the truth. He's Vex's son. He's in danger, and we need Vex with us in the Resistance," Poe said quietly.

Kes sighed harshly. "But that's not all. Why is he in danger? Who is this Vex?"

"The Reaper," Poe whispered, eyes lowered to the counter as his father's flew up.

"The _Reaper!?_ " Kes demanded. "How can you think you could trust _her_? How could _Leia_?" he questioned.

"Because I know her!" Poe argued, silencing his father. "I felt the exact same way when I met her, but then I got to know her, Dad! Vex _never_ had a choice in any of that. Snoke took her when she was a child, not much older than Anakin now!"

Kes was silenced by that, expression thoughtful. "And Snoke seeks her son now," he murmured.

"He wants them _both_ , Dad," Poe uttered lowly, looking troubled. "And with Anakin in hiding, Vex can concentrate on helping us, and protecting herself,"

"And you're sure she's come to the light side?" Kes questioned one last time. Poe gave one last tired nod.

"The dark's all she's known her whole life. If you met her, you'd see how hard she's trying. How far she's come. She needs help," Poe confided quietly.

Humor suddenly returned to Kes' features, one eyebrow quirking up. A familiar smirk slid onto his face. " _Your_ help, I imagine," he suggested.

Poe's brows furrowed for another reason. "I did promise-" he began, only for understanding to suddenly flit across his features. "Dad! Don't start!"

 **Three Days Later – D'Qar**

Poe had been back on D'Qar for no more than ten minutes before he'd gone in search of his new friend. He'd honestly expected Vex to be there to greet him when he'd returned, but she hadn't. So he'd reported to Leia to fill her in on his successful mission and found out that Vex hadn't left her workshop more than once since he'd left five days ago.

So now Poe was on his way to her, datapad in hand. He'd filled the little device with as many recordings of Anakin as he could in the short time he'd been on Yavin 4. The boy had seemed delighted by it all, even if he asked for his mother constantly.

The workshop Vex occupied slid open at his approach, allowing Poe to step in and look around. The room was cramped and small, filled up by two workbenches and piles of scrap parts. Vex sat hunched over one bench, piecing together a sleek, round droid body. "Looks interesting. What kind of droid is it?" Poe said suddenly.

"A BB unit. One of a kind," Vex answered lightly, as if unsurprised by his presence. Poe's brows lifted. It wasn't until she glanced back and saw Poe standing there that her mouth dropped open. She dropped the tool onto the bench with a clang, jumping up from her seat to approach him. "Poe!"

Poe grinned, planting his hands on his hips. "What, you have so many people coming in to bug you that you didn't know it was me?" he laughed.

"Actually, yes," Vex breathed. "But how was it? How was Anakin-" she began to question. Instead of answering, Poe held up the datapad and pulled up the video of the little boy discovering his new room.

Vex grabbed hold of the device eagerly, her eyes misting as she watched the recording. "He's good, Vex. He was really excited to explore, as you can see. He's safe with Ayla'Lyn and my dad on-" Poe began to explain, only to be cut off.

"Don't say where!" Vex said vehemently, closing her eyes tightly. Poe fell silent, his eyes questioning. "I wiped it from my mind, Poe. The whole conversation we had deciding where to send him, all of that. Anything that mentioned where," she explained.

" _Why_?" Poe questioned in shock.

Vex glanced at him, her piercing blue eyes pained. "In case I'm ever captured, he'll never find out where my son is," she answered. "You're the only one who knows,"

"Leia?" he said, brows furrowing.

"We agreed she shouldn't remember either," Vex answered. _She'd wiped it from Leia's mind, too._

Poe let out a long sigh. "But then you won't know where he is when it's time to find him," he pointed out. "What if something happens to me? No one will know where he is!"

Vex's gaze was steady, trusting. "Then I guess you'll just have to survive, Poe. _You_ have to take me to him when it's safe. _If_ it's ever safe," she spoke.

"You're putting a whole lot of faith in me here, Vex," Poe breathed out, surprise crossing his features.

Vex nodded. "Because I trust you," she admitted openly, raising a hand to rub at her eyes. It was then that he noticed the dark circles beneath them and her pale skin. Vex looked exhausted.

He sighed, deciding to drop it. For now. "Come on. I'll walk you back to your quarters," he said. Vex's brows lifted in confusion. She glanced back towards her workbench, towards her unfinished droid. "I've been told you've holed up in here practically the whole time I was gone. I'm back and Anakin's safe, so now you're going to rest," Poe told her.

Vex rolled her eyes, lowering the datapad to her side. She exhaled lowly, fixing Poe with a stern look. "You're not going to threaten me with a blaster if I refuse, are you?" she asked, quirking a brow upwards.

"Who threatened you with a blaster?!" Poe spluttered, stuck somewhere between shock and amusement.

"Rose," Vex answered, a smile lightening her features.

"Well, that makes sense," Poe uttered, a laugh escaping him as he imagined the encounter. "Did it work?" he asked curiously, weaving his arm into Vex's to start guiding her towards her quarters.

"Yes," Vex acknowledged. At first, she'd been surprised at Poe's boldness. No trace of hesitance as he'd taken her arm. But then she'd relaxed, allowing him to lead her away.

"I'll have to remember that," he said thoughtfully, coaxing a laugh from his companion. Poe grinned over at her, the sound filling him with warmth. "I mean, I'll _try_ not to do that, but I can't guarantee a thing," he went on humorously. Vex only laughed again, shaking her head.

Poe kept her entertained over the short walk to her quarters, to keep her mind off the absence of her son. The direness of their situation. "Well, you have your orders, Vex. From Leia herself – and me, too. Get some rest," he stammered awkwardly, drawing a hand through his curling hair.

Vex lifted an eyebrow, leaning against her door. Poe stood less than a foot away from her – so close they could easily touch. If Vex wasn't leaning against the door, their chests would be touching. "I don't think you can order me to do anything, Poe," she said challengingly.

Poe only shrugged, flashing her a grin before his gaze fixed on the floor. "Well, then take it as a friendly suggestion. I loaded that datapad with as many recordings of Ani as I could-" he began, only to be cut off by soft lips pressing against his.

His eyes darted up, finding Vex had pushed forward to close the distance between them. His moment of hesitation was enough for her. Vex drew away, her own gaze lowering. She bit her lower lip, cheeks glowing red. "That was stupid," she muttered. "I must have read the moment wrong-" Vex said, looking up to him, expression almost apologetic.

Poe didn't let her finish the sentence, pressing forward to pin her back against the door, seeking out her lips with his own. The kiss resumed with a hunger, a fervor, neither had ever felt. Poe's arms wrapped around her waist as Vex's wound about his neck, fingers toying with his dark curls.

The heat between them grew and grew, until Poe was forced to pull back to catch his breath. "You didn't misread- it was there," he said quietly, finding her eyes.

Vex's expression was uncertain, her piercingly blue eyes searching his as she thought. Then something changed in her features – a decision reached, Poe thought, as she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged him into her quarters.

The doors closed behind them, leaving the hallway empty and quiet.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my two reviewers last chapter - carolinamalo53 and MagicIsPowerDearie!

I know some of you might disagree with the new pairing, but it's always been my endgame. While Vex and Kylo really had something, in real life, I think having that much loss would destroy a relationship - especially since they were forced into it. Kylo and Vex will remain really close and stuff - but the romance is over for both of them.

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	25. Chapter 25

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 25**

 _34 ABY - D'Qar_

Vex Valorum didn't regret kissing Poe Dameron. She didn't regret trusting him, or even inviting him to her bed. But now, as she lay in his arms, feeling every soft exhale ruffle her hair as he slept, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd been foolish. Had she ruined everything by doing this? Had she ruined their friendship?

Or had they really _ever_ been friends? Had they just been building towards _this?_ With Sin and Kylo both, they'd been friends first. Of sorts, anyway. Vex had never felt that type of kinship for Poe, or anything close to what she felt for Rose, Paige and Jessika. Maybe _this_ is what they'd been meant for.

Vex wouldn't deny she wanted that with Poe. She didn't want to be his friend. She wanted _more_ , whatever that was. But – what did _Poe_ want? He still knew so little about her. He still didn't know who Anakin's father was. Who Vex had once loved. If that didn't make him turn from her, she didn't know what would. Perhaps it would be the admission of the three babies she'd almost had with Kylo before Anakin.

As much as Poe knew that Vex had a checkered past, he didn't know _how_ checkered it truly was. Poe was the fourth man she'd been with. And with her swift look into his mind not so long ago, she knew Poe was no stranger to lovers.

"I can hear you thinking," Poe huffed against her neck, startling her. His arms lay relaxed around her, even as his hips shifted to fit perfectly against her backside. Vex rolled her eyes. "So why don't you just tell me what's got you lying awake right now?" he suggested.

Vex exhaled, unable to stop herself from rolling her eyes again. She glanced back towards him, only for him to dart forward and steal a kiss. She melted against him then, allowing him to pull her closer into the circle of his arms. "I just…don't know what this will do to our friendship," Vex admitted, eyes falling shut as he nuzzled her nose gently.

Poe sighed, pulling back to look at her. Vex's eyes opened reluctantly. "Were we ever _really_ friends, Vex?" he posed, mirroring her exact thoughts. She shrugged lightly. "There was always something between us, Vex, from the beginning. It wasn't friendship," he explained.

"Then what was it?" she questioned.

He sighed again. "Sometimes I forget how young you are," Poe said, nipping at the tip of her nose gently. Vex leaned away, irritation beginning to show on her features. "I had a gut feeling about you from the beginning, Vex. Something that told me you were different. At first, with who you were, I assumed I couldn't trust you," he confided.

"And that changed," Vex assumed, examining him carefully.

Poe gave a hurried nod. "When I started getting to know you, I knew it wasn't that. That mission – Fimery, that was it for me. I knew then,"

"Knew what?" she questioned.

"That you were different. In the best way," Poe answered, a hand gently tracing down her arm. "My gut wasn't trying to warn me against you. It was trying to tell me to go _to_ you,"

"It was the Force," Vex murmured. Poe quirked an eyebrow, a wordless question. "Your gut instinct, Poe. It's the Force that guides us all. The Force was trying to bring us together," she explained.

"Whatever it was, I got the message," Poe said, fingers tangling into her hair.

"So you want this? Whatever it is," she questioned, hand resting against his chest.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I want it," he dipped down, pressing his lips to hers. Poe kissed her like a man dying of thirst, as if whatever he needed to live lay within her.

Vex pushed lightly at his shoulder, making him pause. "Then you need to know the truth," she said against his lips.

Poe drew back at once, brows drawn low with confusion, hurt. "Anakin's father," she began, sighing. Poe's expression cleared, dawning with understanding. He reached out, covering her hand with his.

"Who was he?" he asked softly.

Vex drew in a deep breath. "…Kylo Ren," she admitted. Poe reeled back as if he'd been struck.

" _Kylo Ren_!?"

Vex sighed. "Poe, you have to remember how things were different then. All I had was the dark side – and like it or not, Kylo Ren was just like me." she said.

"What do you mean?" Poe questioned.

"I mean that Kylo Ren didn't want any of this, either. Snoke began torturing him from within his mind, turning him to the dark side, when he was only a child. Younger than I was when Snoke took me," Vex explained.

"We hated each other in the beginning, when he first came to Snoke. But eventually, we became friends. He came to understand what I already knew. That we were nothing to Snoke, only tools,"

"How did you get together? Have Anakin," Poe asked, finally settling back beside her.

"It was Snoke's decree. He decided that he'd need an heir, and that there could be no better than the child of two Jedi," Vex said quietly.

Poe looked at her sharply. "He _made_ you?"

Vex nodded. "Both of us. He made _both_ of us do it," she clarified. She heaved a sigh. "It began when I was twenty. It took us a few weeks, maybe a month to conceive," she began.

"That was four years ago, Vex – Anakin's only just over a year old now," Poe cut in.

"I _know_ ," she said, looking somewhat miffed at his interruption. "Poe, Anakin was the fourth baby we conceived," Vex confessed. Poe turned a bewildered look to her, features beginning to contort in horror. With that look aimed at her, everything spilled out. The whole story. How Snoke had killed three babies before Anakin. How Kylo had helped her escape. How their fragile, unstable love had burned out with all the loss and pain.

"Vex… I don't know what else there is to say… I'm sorry," Poe murmured, nuzzling his nose against her hair as if to offer comfort in the only way he knew how. She exhaled lowly, reaching out to trace her fingers along his square jaw.

"There's one last thing you must know, Poe," Vex said. Poe leaned away so that his eyes could meet hers.

"What is it?" he questioned guardedly.

"Do you know who Kylo Ren really is?" she asked. His brows drew low in confusion. "Who he was, before?"

Poe shook his head.

"His name was Ben Solo," Vex began, watching as Poe's features contorted in shock. "-the son of Han and Leia," she said softly, eyes watching him carefully.

"Then Anakin…" Poe said, eyes wide.

Vex nodded. "...is Leia's grandson, yes," she confirmed. Poe leaned back against the bed, expression blank. He was beyond shock or surprise, now. He wondered if he could ever feel surprise again.

He exhaled deeply. "Now that I think about it… that makes a lot of sense," Poe admitted, arm snaking back around Vex, coaxing her closer. She didn't need much convincing, resting her cheek against his chest, fingers stroking up and down the patch of dark hair that grew there. "I always wondered why Leia was so interested in him, why she'd gotten so involved, so quickly," he mused.

"Luke's gone, Han's gone, and so is Ben. Leia's been without her family for a long time. When I brought Anakin here, I think I gave her hope. Hope that her family could come back together," Vex pondered, letting her eyes flutter shut as Poe's thumb made soothing circles on her lower back.

"You've given us all hope," Poe whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Every time he'd thought Vex had been through too much, he found out more. More misery, more pain. Poe was sure he had barely brushed the surface. The thought of what Vex had been put through infuriated and saddened him at the same time, but it only solidified his resolve.

Resolve to be with Vex, to love and protect her. She needed someone steady, good and kind. Poe was sure that was him. He would shield her from any more harm, help her heal if he could. And Anakin? He'd care for him, too. Protect them with his life, make them his family.

If Kylo Ren wasn't going to protect Vex and Anakin, Poe would do it himself.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my two reviewers last chapter - guest and Mstngsali1!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	26. Chapter 26

Glitter and Gold

 **Chapter 26**

 _34 ABY – D'Qar_

It hadn't been an easy decision to make. Lying to Vex had made both Leia and Poe feel sick inside. She didn't deserve to be deceived like this. But it was _for_ her that they'd decided to do this.

After all the pain, after all she'd suffered – it didn't seem fair to make Vex face Snoke alone, again. She didn't deserve to have to fight at all. She deserved to live in peace with Anakin.

That's why they'd decided to carry on their search for Luke without her knowledge. They knew Vex would try to stop them out of loyalty to her mentor. Even though she knew exactly where to find Luke, Leia and Poe knew they could never ask.

R2-D2 had gone onto low-power mode after Luke had left, taking Luke's last moments and messages with him. All they knew for sure was that a map had been left behind.

"If there's anyone Luke might have trusted with the map, it would have been him," Leia said, tapping on the screen of the display in front of them.

Poe leaned forward, reading the screen. "Lor San Tekka? Why him?" he asked.

"He's a true believer in the Force and the Jedi. He was a great friend to us during the Civil War and after…" Leia trailed off, looking distracted for a moment. She shook her head briskly, as if to clear her head. "Lor San Tekka was always a wanderer, but he left at the same time Luke did. I always wondered if it was a coincidence or not," she explained.

"Alright, so we find him and find out what he knows. How do we find him?" Poe wondered out loud.

"Last I heard, he spent time with a strange community called the Creche," Leia said, looking uncertain.

"So it'll be a wild goose chase," Poe sighed. Leia flashed him a look. "What?"

Leia drew in a deep sigh. "There could be an easier way… but you won't like it," she admitted.

"What?" he questioned.

"We could use the Force," Leia suggested hesitantly.

Poe stared at her blankly for a moment before he began to shake his head. "You want Vex to…? No! Leia, she'd want to know why!"

She sighed. "I know. But this is our best shot, Poe. We need Luke. We should be demanding she tell us where he is, but I fear her resolve would outlast ours," Leia admitted.

Poe mirrored the sigh. "It's possible she wiped it from her mind, just as she did Anakin's location," he suggested, shoulders slumping. Leia nodded in acknowledgment. "I'd rather just tell her the truth," he said.

"As would I," Leia agreed, patting him on the shoulder. "But then we'd run the risk of her disagreeing. We can't risk Vex leaving the Resistance, Poe. If we can't find Luke, she's all we've got,"

"Vex would never leave," Poe insisted. "I'm the only person who knows where Anakin is. Not to mention…" he trailed off, hesitating to mention their blooming relationship.

Leia fixed him with a knowing look, making his cheeks flush with color. "I don't think she would either, Poe. But we just can't risk it. We need Vex more than she needs to know the truth," she said softly, an edge of irritation beginning to enter her voice.

Poe scoffed, looking down at the floor. "Well, you can ask her. I'm not going to do it, Leia. I'm not lying to Vex. I'll do everything else you ask, but I just can't lie to her," he said.

Leia looked him up and down carefully. "Why not?" she questioned coolly. "Because you're sleeping together?" Poe glanced up at her, jaw dropping ever so slightly. Leia stood slowly, lips pursed. "I'm not saying I disapprove, Poe. God knows you both deserve happiness. But that doesn't change the fact that we're in the middle of a war. Just because you're in love doesn't mean you won't be taken from each other,"

"What are you trying to say, Leia?" Poe questioned, his brows furrowing as if in confusion. It wasn't that he didn't understand what she was saying. It was why.

Leia sighed again. "I'm saying you still need to do your job, Poe. Part of that is keeping secrets. I promise you Vex has no such problem," she said.

The implication that Vex was keeping secrets from him was starkly clear in Leia's words. It angered him. Poe pushed up from his seat and started towards the door. "You'd be surprised, General," he said formally, pausing at the doorway to look back at her.

A single well-groomed brow had risen in question. "I know who your son is," Poe said quietly, watching the woman he'd adored for so many years stiffen in surprise. "Don't worry, I'll keep your secret," he said softly, turning back to the exit.

"Poe," she said in a strangled tone, reaching up to tug at her collar in a nervous gesture.

Poe paused again on his way out of the room. "You can ask her to do this. Don't worry, General. I'll do my job," he said, tone harsh as he stalked out.

His fists clenched and unclenched as he made his way through the halls. Judging by the thunderous expression on his face, most officers stayed out of his way. He took a deep breath as he reached his destination, stepping into Vex's workshop.

Poe was immediately greeted by a shrill series of tweets in binary. He wasn't exactly fluent – he'd worked with a lot of droids, but they'd never been _his_. So his grasp on binary was tenuous at best. On Vex's workbench beside her sat the head of her current droid project, facing Poe.

"Wow, it's almost done!" he said in amazement, stepping forward to look closely at it. The droid was sleek with white and orange paint. An impressive effort considering most of the parts came from recycled old droids. The droid let out an indignant chirp, to Poe's amusement.

"BB-8 doesn't appreciate you talking about him like he's not here," Vex translated, turning to Poe with a grin on her lips. In front of her on the bench was the droid's spherical body, in the midst of the body paint (orange and white) drying.

Poe stooped over her, pressing a gentle kiss to Vex's lips. His heart warmed, feeling her lips quirk up higher in a smile as he drew away. "I'm sorry, BB-8," Poe said with a laugh. "I never meant to offend,"

Vex stifled a giggle as the droid seemed to be appeased by the statement. She swiveled on her stool to face Poe completely, resting a hand on his forearm. "He's yours, Poe. BB-8 will be your flight droid and partner on solo missions," she said suddenly.

Poe's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Vex!"

She silenced him with a look. "BB-8 started as a thank you, for helping with my son," she began, seeming almost shy. Poe smiled at her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "And then, once I got to know you, I saw you needed something to stop you from being reckless," Vex said, in a much less charming tone.

Poe tried to be indignant at her implication but failed miserably. Instead, he just leaned in and kissed her hard. "Thank you," he said lowly, between kisses. Vex was happy enough to respond, leaning into his gentle touches and affections.

It wasn't until BB-8 interrupted them with a chirp that the two separated. Poe straightened up, leaving one arm wrapped around Vex's shoulders as she turned to the droid. "BB," she began seriously, a hint of a blush still on her cheeks. "I built you to help keep Poe safe. He's someone I greatly care about, and one day, there's someone he needs to take me to," Vex explained to the droid, who listened with rapt attention.

Poe leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek. He hadn't felt butterflies in his stomach like this since he was a teenager. But listening to Vex talk about him…that was something else, entirely. "Poe can be a little reckless…" Vex added, giving him a sideways look. BB-8 chimed in with something else – and _that_? Poe knew that word. The droid just called him stupid! "Yes, that too," Vex chuckled as Poe scoffed. "So he's going to need your help to stay safe when I'm not there to take care of him,"

"I don't need to be taken care of," Poe felt he had to point out.

Vex rolled her eyes. "I've been on exactly one mission with you and you got yourself arrested," she reminded him.

"And _you_ got shot," he retorted. She rolled her eyes again in response. Poe looked to the droid, who seemed to be watching with curiosity. "Alright, BB-8. Do you think we can be partners? So this one doesn't worry?" Poe suggested.

The droid quickly responded with an affirmative chirp. "He'll be ready tomorrow. The paint will be dry by then," Vex added quietly. "In the meantime, you need to work on your binary," she suggested, fixing him with a dry look.

It was Poe's turn to roll his eyes then. "That's what BB-8's for. You'll help me, won't you buddy?" he asked, grinning at the droid who quickly agreed once again. Vex sighed, fondly rubbing Poe's whiskery cheek. He grinned, leaning into her hand.

The door slid open, pulling the two of them from their moment. Turning, Poe and Vex saw Leia at the door. She looked uncertain, not exactly eager to intrude on their moment. "Are you alright, Leia?" Vex asked in concern, hand dropping from Poe's face.

Poe sighed. "I think she's got something to ask you. I'll see you at dinner, Vex," he said, leaning down to kiss her just once more before he strode out the door, not bothering to acknowledge Leia.

Vex stood, brows furrowing in confusion. Poe and Leia had always shared such an agreeable, deep bond. She wondered what could have caused such a reaction from them both. "What is it, Leia?" she asked again.

Leia drew in a deep breath, hands twiddling before her. "We need your help finding someone," she began, sighing again before she went on. "I have decided to resume our search for Luke,"

Vex fell back onto her stool, breath knocked from her lungs. "You can't ask me to-"

"I'm _not_ ," Leia interrupted with a shake of her head. "I know that you won't tell me where he is. But you can help me find someone who can," she insisted, stepping forward to approach Vex.

" _Why_?" the younger woman questioned.

Leia gently took Vex's face in her hands, her thumbs rubbing gently at her temple. "Because you shouldn't have to fight your son's father. Or Snoke. Not alone, anyway. It is Luke's duty to do this. Whether he likes it or not,"

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my one reviewer last chapter - Mstngsali1!

Thoughts?

Next chapter we finally reach the force awakens!

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Glitter and Gold** (Formerly known as The Light Within)

 **Chapter 27**

 _34 ABY – Jakku_

"Why did I let him talk me into this?" Vex questioned herself, teeth chattering from the cold. As hot as Jakku was during the daytime, it was just as cold as night. She pulled the dark jacket tighter around her, peering towards the small village just over the next dune.

That's where Poe was. Talking to Lor San Tekka, who Vex had located under extreme protest. Helping the Resistance find Luke hadn't been an easy choice. She still wasn't sure if it was the right one.

The truth was that Vex didn't know where to find Luke. She hadn't wiped it from her mind as Leia and Poe had suggested. Instead, she thought it must have been Luke who wiped it away when she'd left. She remembered everything – it was her journeys to and from his sanctuary that had been blurred.

She remembered the green, the mountain, the temple, her hut, the Lanai women. But the planet? Vex couldn't recall the name. She knew it was beyond the Outer Rim territories, in the Wilds. Beyond that, Vex couldn't say. So she'd agreed to help them find Luke.

Even though it felt like betrayal.

Poe was supposed to go on this mission alone but Vex had insisted on accompanying him. She'd had a strange feeling – a ominous foreboding that something terrible would happen. She wouldn't let Poe go alone.

So here Vex was. On Jakku, freezing her ass off as Poe charmed Lor San Tekka into turning over his information on Luke. If anyone could do it, it was Poe. He could charm the pants off just anyone.

Vex lacked that grace. She was blunt, to-the-point and often off-putting, or so she'd been told. People didn't find her likeable. Likely a result of being raised by Snoke. God knows what Poe saw in her. He was good and kind, and _nothing_ like Vex.

An odd feeling overtook Vex, one that took her a moment to understand. She felt _him_ coming. A life force she was intimately familiar with. The First Order was coming. A cold pit in her stomach unfurled, like icy fingers spreading through her body. If she could feel him, Kylo Ren could surely feel _her_.

"BB-8! Get Poe, tell him to get his ass back to the ship! The First Order is coming _now_!" Vex cried, lunging toward the ship to pull her belt from her seat. BB-8 dropped out of his perch, whirring over the sand dune in alarm.

She snatched her lightsaber off the belt, finger hovering over the ignition. She watched the droid make it across the village and into the hut that held Poe and Lor San Tekka. Then Vex looked to the skies. Dark as it was, it gave no clues as to how close the First Order ships were. But she could _feel_ them. There was no _time_.

Vex decided she couldn't wait, sprinting over the dune and toward the village, lightsaber clenched in her hand. Her heart thudded in her throat, breath coming out in harsh bursts. A few moments after BB-8 had entered the hut, Poe darted out. The two nearly collided as they met in the middle of the village, as the harsh lights of the First Order ships appeared, landing on the outskirts of the village.

"Vex!" Poe cried, taking hold of her arm as they quickly righted themselves and ran back towards their ship.

"Do you have it!?" she questioned as BB-8 whirred past them to get the ship started. Poe gave a sharp nod as they ran past villagers setting up defenses against the lowering ramps of the First Order ships.

It was just as they made it to the ship that the Stormtroopers began to gun down the villagers. Poe paused as he started to climb into the ship, eyes glued to the gruesome scene. Vex followed his eyes, frowning. "Vex," he said, turning his gaze to her.

Vex sighed. "I just want you to know this is suicide, Poe," she said, hand tightening around her lightsaber. Poe dropped down from the ship, touching her shoulder gently.

"Those people are dying because we came here, Vex," he said.

She let out a frustrated breath. "I know," Vex growled, glancing back towards them. The blasters going off, the cries of pain and anguish. She hated that it was so easy for her to ignore. "I can try to hold them off for a few moments. Allow the villagers to escape," she offered, uncertainly.

Poe nodded quickly. "I'll get the ship ready," he promised, leaning forward to press his lips to hers. Vex sighed into the kiss, reaching out to tug his dark curls hard. "I love you," he whispered, pulling back to search her eyes for a quick moment.

He knew that she loved him. She didn't have to say it. It was the only reason she was here. Risking her life. Vex simply kissed him hard, and then turned to the village. "You may have to leave without me. You getting out of here alive is much more important," she said, voice hard. She didn't turn to look at him.

"Vex," Poe uttered, a tremor to his voice. "I'm not leaving without you,"

Vex didn't respond, rolling the hilt of the lightsaber in her hand. She didn't tell him Kylo Ren was here. If she did, he wouldn't let her do this. Save him. Then she was off, dashing over the dune, violet lightsaber flashing to life as she approached the chaotic village.

" _STOP_!" she shrieked, raising one hand in a vice-like gesture. The Storm-troopers fell still, frozen in place by her power. Vex had to close her eyes for a moment, the power her control took over so many was much. "GO!" she growled towards the villagers.

Dumbstruck, the villagers simply looked at her. "This is your chance! Get away, now! I can only hold them all so long!" Vex yelled, gritting her teeth. The muscles in her hand were held so tightly that they were beginning to cry out in pain – but she feared if she let them relax, even for a moment, she'd lose control of the Stormtroopers.

The villagers abandoned their weapons and ran, shouting out words of thanks in different languages as they escaped. Not many got away. Most already lay dead around her. A pain lanced around her mind, causing Vex to wince, a reminder of the great exertion she'd taken on.

It was as she held the Stormtroopers still that a third ship landed. A ship she recognized. _His_ ship. Kylo Ren had arrived, and he surely knew she was here. Her heart leapt to her throat. "Vex!" a voice carried over the dunes. _Poe_. It was time to go, but she just _couldn't_.

Kylo Ren stalked down the ramp of his ship, helmet fixated on her. " _Lady Reaper_ ," his distorted voice greeted. " _Now this **is**_ _a surprise_ ,"

Vex was frozen in both fear and apprehension. She knew she could not expect any help from him this time. "Kylo," she managed to utter in response. His helmet tilted to the side, carefully watching as her body trembled from exertion.

" _Your powers have grown_ ," he observed, gesturing to the Stormtroopers she held still. Thirty-eight of them. Two units, two men down. Vex gritted her teeth, her body shaking as she began to reach her limit. " _But I can't imagine your saber skills have, with no one to fight,_ " Kylo continued, drawing his own lightsaber from his belt. The sudden ignition of the blade and its flight towards her forced her swift decision.

Vex dropped her hand – loosing control of the Stormtroopers – and slashed her lightsaber up to block his. Red and purple crackled on contact, the unstable property of his cracked kyber crystal drowning out hers.

All blasters were now trained on her. But it honestly didn't matter. Kylo Ren would never allow them to shoot her. Snoke would want her alive.

"I'm not going back," she hissed, purple and red reflecting on his reflective helmet.

Kylo Ren forced both sabers down towards her, dangerously close to her face. " _I'm afraid there is no choice involved here,"_ was his response.

"There's always a choice!" Vex cried in response, stomping on his foot and swirling away, saber kept defensively before her.

He advanced, as close to a monster as she'd ever seen him before. What had Snoke _done_ to him!? The man she'd known before, the father of her child – would _never_ have hurt her. Snoke had pushed him beyond his limits.

" _No, there isn't,_ " Kylo Ren growled, before leaping to attack.

Vex fought quickly, blocking each blow hastily. He was _right_. She was out of practice. Once, Vex had been better than him. But she hadn't truly fought someone in nearly four years. Kylo Ren's onslaught grew faster and faster, more frenzied with each strike, just as Vex slowed with each strike.

She knew it was just a matter of time. She only hoped Poe had seen sense and escaped. Somehow, she doubted it. The quick distraction, the thought of Poe, cost her. A slash of Kylo Ren's blade arced up her torso, her lightsaber falling from her hand, extinguished. A cry of pain left her lips.

Vex fell, a line of fire burning from hip to shoulder. She breathed out slowly, a grimace crossing her features. His hand outstretched, calling her lightsaber to his hand. _"For what it's worth, Vex. I'm sorry_ ," Kylo said lowly, kneeling down beside her.

"We all do what we have to," she managed through gritted teeth, pressing a hand to her wounded shoulder. She drew it away with a hiss – he'd cut her deep. Black was beginning to ring her vision.

" _I'm glad you understand_ ," he said, touching her forehead with gloved fingers.

Everything went black.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my one reviewer last chapter - Mstngsali1!

Thoughts?

I changed the title and description. I think it fits a little bit better. The song, Glitter and Gold by Barns Courtney, just feels like Vex to me. Listen to it. It's a bop (is that what you kids say?)

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 28**

 _34 ABY – Jakku_

As he watched Vex cross the dunes to help the villagers, Poe couldn't help but feel a strange sense of fear. She was going to face those Stormtroopers alone. He knew she could handle herself, knew she had powers beyond his imagination, but he still feared for her. She'd said he would have to leave without her. What did she know that Poe didn't?

Reluctantly, Poe climbed into the cockpit of his X-wing, keeping his eyes fixed in Vex's direction. _"STOP!_ " her voice carried over the sand, as she threw a hand out. Every. Single. Stormtrooper. Froze.

Poe stood in his seat, eyes widening in wonder as Vex yelled for the villagers to run. Whatever he'd expected, it hadn't been this. The Stormtroopers were held still by Vex's power, exactly as he'd been once or twice. He never thought she could do it with so many people. His heart swelled with pride.

Until he saw the approaching ship. "Shit! Fuck!" he cursed, scrambling out of the seat with a blaster in hand. There was no way Vex could hold off any more of them. "BB-8!" Poe called as he hit the sand. Just a moment later, the droid Vex had built for him hit the sand too.

From his pocket, Poe drew the data stick, holding it out to the droid. "You take this! It's safer with you than it is me! You get as far away from here as you can! You hear me?" he ordered, dropping it into a slot BB-8 pushed out.

The droid chirped out a series of questions, clearly worried. "I'll come back for you! We'll be alright! I have to help Vex!" Poe assured the droid. "Go! What you're carrying is the hope of the resistance!"

With his droid safely escaping, Poe hefted up his blaster and ran over the dune to hide behind one of the large crates on the outskirts of the village. All breath left his body when he saw the dark, hooded figure standing before Vex.

 _Kylo Ren_. The father of Vex's son, and Snoke's instrument. Just because he'd helped Vex escape before, didn't mean he would today. "Fuck!" Poe cursed again, banging a hand against the crate. He didn't think there was any way out of this one. It would take a miracle to get Vex out of this one, and Poe had to think about Anakin, too. He couldn't just rashly throw his life away anymore.

Before he could blink, Kylo Ren had drawn his lightsaber and attacked Vex, forcing her to drop her control of the Stormtroopers in order to defend herself. Violet and red lightsabers danced, reflecting off the armor of the Stormtroopers. Vex managed to barely block each of Ren's blows, but it was clear she was tiring – slowing with each strike, while Ren's blows only came harder and faster.

While watching the fight felt like a century – helpless to aid Vex as he was, but it only lasted a few moments. Ren's lightsaber arced up across Vex's body – cutting her from hip to shoulder. The violet saber spun out of her grip, landing in the sand, extinguished.

Poe's legs went weak beneath him the moment he heard her cry of pain. "Vex," he breathed, watching her fall. "No," he muttered, gripping his blaster tighter to creep around the crate to approach.

Kylo Ren dropped to his knees at Vex's side, pressing two fingers to her forehead. She went limp. "No!" Poe cried again. Ren rose to his feet, Vex's unconscious body thrown over his shoulder. He aimed his blaster at the Jedi Killer's back, rage creeping up his throat.

The moment Poe squeezed the trigger, Ren turned to face him, one hand thrown up. The bolt of energy was frozen in the air between them. Poe's jaw dropped open in horror, the blaster falling from his grip. Two Stormtroopers jogged over, slamming a fist or two in Poe's stomach before dragging him towards Ren.

Kylo Ren handed Vex over to one of his troopers, "Put her on my ship. Alert me if she begins to wake," he ordered, a haunting voice emitting from his helmet. How had Vex ever stood him?

"Vex!" Poe cried. "No!"

He was kicked down to his knees at Kylo Ren's feet. " _And **who** are you?"_ Ren mused, folding his arms behind his back. Poe glared up at him, lips thinning into a frown. " _The old man gave you the map, didn't he?"_ he considered, pacing back and forth a few steps. " _Search him!_ " Ren ordered.

The Stormtroopers roughly handled Poe before pushing him back down to the ground. "Nothing, sir," one of them said.

Ren let out a noise of annoyance. "Bring him on board," he instructed, turning on his heel to march aboard his ship.

 _Good_ , Poe thought. A chance to save Vex, as slim as it was.

* * *

Everything Vex had told him about the First Order and interrogation was true.

They'd tortured him. First, it'd been a Stormtrooper. Then an officer with ginger-hair that had thrown the most ungraceful fit when Poe had given them nothing. If Vex was right, Kylo Ren would be the next to interrogate him.

Poe both feared and welcomed it equally – he wanted to question Ren about Vex. _Perhaps_ , if the Jedi Killer had any love left for Vex inside of him, he'd help her and Poe escape. God, what a fantasy.

It was only because of Vex that Poe had gotten through the first two rounds of interrogation. He'd been so out of his mind with worry for her that it overwhelmed everything else. Even the pain, even his survival instinct. The pain of the torture was nearly enough to break him, but the thought of Vex that steadied him.

Poe had thought he'd known pain. He'd been in fights, gotten shot before. But torture was entirely unlike all other pain, he'd realized. Torture was the sadistic use of pain in order to force someone to do what they wanted in order to end the pain. Pain wasn't the goal. It was merely the instrument.

His first two interrogators had gleefully inflicted pain to try and coax out the location of Skywalker's map. They'd both failed, so now Poe knew to expect another to follow them. Kylo Ren.

Vex had promised there would be none of her gentleness, should Poe ever be captured. He believed her now. Not that he hadn't truly before, it simply hadn't been _real_ to him then.

But now it was. And Poe had to prepare himself for even worse pain. More agony, and hope that Kylo Ren wouldn't be able to pull his secrets from his mind. Poe would be using Vex's mind trick to hide away his information, and he only hoped it'd be enough. He left small details of the mission at the forefront of his mind, and tucked the rest away, hopefully hidden beneath everything else. A locked box in his mind.

The door behind Poe slid open, filling the quiet room with heavy footsteps. He craned his neck to see behind him, wincing at the stiffness in his neck and shoulders. " _I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board_ ," came that haunting voice, before he appeared before Poe.

" _Comfortable_?" the man in a mask questioned.

"Not really," Poe said.

" _I'm impressed. No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map_ ," Kylo Ren remarked.

"Might want to rethink your technique," Poe retorted.

Kylo Ren threw out his hand, and _agony_ erupted in Poe's brain. It was _nothing_ like the prickle of discomfort he'd felt when Vex had invaded his mind. It was like someone had slammed a pickaxe into his skull, sending reverberations of pain throughout Poe's whole body. He threw his head back against the metal rest behind him, as if that would provide some sort of relief.

" _Where is it_?" Ren demanded.

"The Resistance will not be intimidated by you," Poe managed through gritted teeth.

Kylo Ren tilted his head to the side, his gloved fingers stiffening – exerting another wave of intense pain throughout the other man's body. " _Where. Is. It_?"

Unable to hold it in any longer, Poe let out a scream of pain. He strained against the restraints, his mind plunged into chaos, a mess of agony, confusion, and _fear_.

A choked laugh left Kylo Ren's helmet, distorted into an otherworldly noise. " _You fool_ ," he hissed, stepping closer. He ripped off the helmet, revealing his face to Poe. A momentary lapse of the torture lent Poe clarity – and confusion. "Vex's little mind trick," Kylo Ren said, watching as Poe's expression contort in horror.

"You really thought you could hide it from me," the Jedi Killer growled, a strange look of almost glee crossing his features. " _I_ was Vex's first student. _I_ know to look for such a clever distraction," he informed Poe.

His words sounded like jealousy to Poe. Outrage that Poe'd thought he could trick him. Poe forced himself to focus on the greater concern. If Kylo Ren had breached his flimsy defense, then he already knew what he wanted. His best chance would be to throw Kylo Ren off balance.

"Then you know I'm the only one who knows where your son is," Poe said suddenly.

The gamble worked. The look that crossed Kylo Ren's face was nothing less than confusion. His eyes blew wide, his brows drawing down low. But the moment passed, and his surprise gave way to rage. "What do _you_ know of my son?" he demanded in a deadly tone, his hand raising.

Poe closed his eyes against the sudden onslaught of pain, like thousands of knives stabbing into him. "Vex entrusted the secret to me when she hid him. Only I know where to find Anakin when it's time. When it's safe," he explained.

Kylo Ren simply stared at him, his expression unreadable. Poe opened his eyes after a moment, when Ren hadn't responded. "Is Anakin safe, where he is?" he questioned, after a tense silence.

The response surprised Poe for a moment. He didn't ask _where_ Anakin was. But then again, this was the man who'd helped Vex escape the First Order, resigning himself to the idea that he'd never see her, or his child ever again. A monster as he was, Kylo Ren was showing him vulnerability in this moment.

"Yes," Poe answered resolutely. Kylo Ren nodded, lips thinning. He replaced his helmet, and stepped away, _leaving_ before Poe had even gotten to ask about Vex. "Wait!"

His heavy steps paused, beside Poe. He craned his head to look at Ren. "Vex told me you loved each other. Why are you doing this to her? Taking Vex back to him when you promised to protect her," Poe questioned, anger entering his voice.

" _You presume much, Poe Dameron,_ "

Poe scoffed. "Of all the things Vex told me about you, she was certain that you would _never_ betray her," he bit out.

A distorted growl left Ren's helmet as he turned to face Poe. " _You understand **nothing**. I am protecting my family now, as I have always done,_" Kylo Ren snarled, fingers reaching out to close around Poe's throat.

Poe gasped for air as the other man's hand tightened around his airway for several dangerous moments. And then it was suddenly gone. _"You have great luck today, Dameron_ ," Ren commented, stepping away. " _For all that you try to infuriate me, you hold my son's safety,"_ his heavy footsteps headed towards the door, a relief from Poe's torture.

"Wait! What about Vex?!" Poe demanded, craning his stiff body around to try to get a glimpse of the man behind him.

 _"She is of your concern no longer_."

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Guest and Mstngsali1!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 29**

 _34 ABY – Kylo Ren's ship_

As Vex returned to consciousness, the first thing she became aware of was the burning stripe of pain across her torso that throbbed with a growing intensity.

The second thing she noticed was the utter silence surrounding her, something cold and tight around her neck. The absence of something she'd felt as long as she could remember. The Force. She'd felt this before.

" _You're awake,_ "

She knew that voice. Faintly, vaguely, like it was a distortion of a voice she knew well. Even groggy and disoriented as she was, she _knew_ it in her marrow. "Kylo," Vex breathed. "I don't feel right… something's wrong,"

A low breath left Kylo. " _It's the collar. It inhibits your ability to use and perceive the Force. It's called –"_

Her eyes snapped open, finally. "- a Creel collar. I'm familiar," she snarled, slowly sitting up on the bunk, despite her pain.

Kylo exhaled lowly, hitting a few buttons to put the ship on autopilot. Then he rose from his seat to approach. " _Of course you are. I'm sorry_ ," he said.

"Take that stupid thing off," Vex growled, refusing to look at him until he did.

He stilled in his approach, sighing. He drew off the helmet. "I'm sorry," he said again, with his voice.

"For what?" Vex questioned, finally meeting his eyes. "For hurting me? Or for where you're taking me?"

Kylo sighed again. "I didn't want this," he told her.

"Why, then?" Vex retorted. "You didn't even hesitate. _Kylo_ ,"

"I didn't have a choice, Vex," Kylo said, crouching in front of her. He took in a deep breath. "Three years, Vex,"

"What?"

"Three years I kept you and Anakin safe. I followed every false lead, went on every wild goose chase. Always intending to let you slip through my fingers, but Snoke got wise,"

Her brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"If I didn't capture you when the opportunity presented, Snoke said he'd kill you. Use me to do it," he explained.

"Kylo," she whispered.

Again, he sighed. "This way there's hope. As long as you're alive, there's hope," Kylo sighed.

Vex sighed, reaching out to trace a finger along his jaw. "And what makes you think Snoke won't kill me?" she questioned honestly.

"He still sees you as his daughter," Vex scoffed, looking to the floor. "The pilot," Kylo said, changing the subject. Her eyes shot up, full of panic. "He loves you."

"What did you do to Poe!?" she questioned.

He shrugged lightly, adopting an arrogant look. "Nothing. I simply extracted what I needed to know," Kylo said nonchalantly. "But what he told me of his own free will was much more interesting,"

"What, Kylo?" Vex asked with dread.

"He's our son's secret keeper. No one else in the galaxy, including you and me, know where Anakin is," Kylo Ren said coldly. "What kind of _fool_ –"

"I trust him, Kylo," Vex said, cutting him off.

"And you love him," he presumed, eyeing her carefully. She simply looked at him for a long moment. "I'm not angry, if that's what you think,"

Vex sighed, lowering her eyes to the floor. "He has to survive, Kylo. If you or I ever hope to find Anakin again, Poe has to survive,"

!

 _The Finalizer_

Poe had been left alone for a while now. Kylo Ren had left, with a note of finality. Two Stormtroopers had stood beside him ever since. The door suddenly slid open, another Stormtrooper entered. "Ren wants the prisoner," he said.

The cuffs around his wrists instantly opened. Poe looked up in surprise, slowly stepping out of the chair. The Stormtrooper grabbed his arm roughly, escorting him from the room and through the halls, blaster pointed at him.

"Turn here," he ordered, shoving Poe into an alcove. Poe flashed him an incredulous look. "Listen carefully. If you do exactly as I say, I can get you out of here,"

"What?" Poe questioned in bewilderment.

The Stormtrooper took off his helmet, revealing the young face beneath. Earnest, with cocoa-colored skin, and entirely sweaty beneath the collar, huffing for breath "This is a rescue. I'm helping you escape! Can you fly a TIE fighter?"

Poe's brows furrowed. "You're with the resistance?" he asked.

"What? No, no, I'm breaking you out! Can you fly a TIE fighter?"

"I can fly anything!" Poe breathed. "Wait, why – why are you helping me?"

"Because it's the right thing to do," the unmasked Stormtrooper said, resolutely.

Poe looked at him for a moment. "You need a pilot," he assumed.

The Stormtrooper sighed, and gave a little nod. "I need a pilot,"

A grin spread over Poe's lips before it suddenly slipped away. "I can't," he said, to the other man's look of bewilderment. "I can't go without Vex, I have to –" he paused, seeing the look on the Stormtrooper's face.

Dread. Sadness.

"What?" Poe questioned.

"Vex – the Reaper – she's gone. Kylo Ren left, half an hour ago. He's taking her to the Supreme Leader," All the breath left Poe in a rush. That quick moment of relief, of hope – was gone. A pit formed in the bottom of his stomach, beginning to roil with intensity. The Stormtrooper gripped his arm, getting Poe's attention. "I'm sorry – but this is our only chance,"

"Yeah," Poe agreed, in a distracted tone. "Yeah, yeah, of course,"

!

 _The Supremacy_

Vex never thought she'd step foot on this ship again. She'd prayed for it every day since she'd escaped. Everything she'd thought she'd gained since leaving – hope, love, _light_ – was suddenly gone as Kylo Ren led her to Snoke's throne room.

She felt like that frightened child again. But older. Wiser. With so many more reasons to fear.

Vex kept her head down, silent as Kylo guided her through the ship. Her wounds from their battle had been treated, before leaving the Finalizer, but she could still feel them, with every movement and shift of her frayed clothing. The Creel collar was cold around her neck, a reminder of so many humiliations and agonies.

" _Supreme Leader, I bring you your wayward child_ ," Kylo Ren stated once they'd entered, as if to remind Snoke of his supposed affections. He forced Vex to her knees in front of him, to face the decrepit old man she'd escaped three years ago.

" _You may return to the Finalizer, Lord Ren,"_ Snoke dismissed, a surprising calmness to his booming voice.

At first, Kylo didn't move. He stood, stock still. Almost as if in shock. Vex didn't dare look back at him, her gaze instead fixing on the floor. With the Creel collar around her neck, she couldn't reach out to him. But, within her mind, she _begged_.

 _Please, please don't leave me. Please. Kylo, please. Don't leave me alone with him!_

" _Lord Ren."_ Snoke said, a hint of warning entering his tone.

Kylo Ren remained still a few moments longer, his conflict obvious. But then he turned, and he left. Vex's hands twisted into fists, pressing against the cold floor of Snoke's throne room. She did not look up. She did not look at the creature who'd tortured her for so many years.

 _"I find… that I do not know what to say in the face of such treachery. My own child…_ "

Vex's gaze snapped up, eyes filling with hatred. "I am _not_ your child!" she snapped. Snoke's hand snapped to the side, and she immediately winced back. But there was no pain. No torment. Vex's eyes pricked open. _What was he up to?_

Snoke had returned his hand to his side, now resting his malformed chin upon it. He watched her, carefully, thoughtfully. _"You'll find my patience has run out. Long ago, child._ " He warned.

Vex straightened, climbing to her feet without bothering to wait for his permission. Snoke leaned back in his throne, far calmer than she expected.

 _I will not cower before you_ , she swore. Vex found his milky, pale eyes with hers.

"I am not your child. And _you_ are not my **_master_** ,"

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Sorry for the long wait! Crazy, crazy summer!

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Guest and Mstngsali1!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 30**

 _34 ABY –_ _The Supremacy_

Vex didn't know how long the torture had gone on. The pain was unlike anything she'd ever known. Excruciating, harrowing, screaming-in-agony _pain_. Without the Force, she couldn't protect herself. Without the Force, she couldn't push the pain away.

Vex was defenseless.

For once, Snoke hadn't lifted a finger to harm her. Instead, he'd fixed his Praetorian Guard on her. All eight of them. Even with Vex being a well-trained fighter, she was unarmed, wounded, out of practice, and outnumbered.

It had taken less than a minute for her to end up on the floor, but even then they hadn't stopped. A dig here, a cut there, an electro-chain _whip_ across her face. She was screaming, _writhing_ in agony, reduced to a mindless, instinct-driven creature.

 _"Enough._ "

And all at once, it stopped. The Praetorian Guard stepped away. Vex didn't notice at first. The _pain_ hadn't stopped. She still burned and throbbed and bled from a myriad of wounds scattered across her body.

 _"Rise, Vex._ " he ordered.

Her hands – slick with blood – reached out, seeking to brace herself on the floor. As soon as she seemed to find a balance and began to drag herself up, her hands slipped from beneath her, sending her crashing back to the floor. A piteous cry of pain left her lips. "I _can't_ ," Vex sobbed out.

A shockwave of pain – an invasion of her mind – exploded in her mind, vanishing as quickly as it'd come, before Vex could even muster a whimper. A warning. _"I have **never** tolerated those words before, Vex. I will **not**_ _now,"_ Snoke growled.

Vex exhaled shakily, raising exhaustion-ridden limbs to wipe the blood from her palms onto her clothing. And she tried again. And again. And again. All while Snoke and his guard watched.

When she finally dragged herself to her knees, she braced herself on her fists, finding her legs were all but useless. Vex was weak. Humiliated. Reduced to something she'd sworn never to be. She looked up, finding Snoke's eyes fixed upon her.

She didn't know what he saw. Her insight into the evil man was gone now, wiped clean by her three years of freedom. She didn't know what to expect. _"Are you satisfied, child? Has your punishment returned you to my side? Have you fallen in line?"_ Snoke questioned.

Vex's fists tightened, beginning to ache against the hard floor. Her gaze darted away, mouth forming a thin line. _"Where is my heir? The babe you call Anakin?"_ he asked, finally. Vex's eyes found his again, mouth falling open in shock. When had he found out? Had he invaded her mind, found her son's name?

 _"Oh yes, you must think yourself so clever, Vex. Wiping your own mind to prevent me from taking what I want."_ Snoke growled, his already malformed face creasing with a scowl. _"But you know how to find him. You're not so foolish as to send him away without a back-up plan. A map, so to speak,_ "

Vex simply stared at him, refusing to say a word. She would _never_ betray her son to this monster.

A noise of frustration left the old man before he forced an expression of gentleness to his features. _"This is your last chance, child. Things do not have to get worse,"_ he warned with a kind tone.

She shook her head. "I can't. I _won't_ ,"

Snoke's face hardened. _"Then things will get worse,"_ he growled, raising a hand. From one of the alcoves in his throne room, the very face of Vex's nightmares in the flesh.

" _No_ ," Vex breathed.

" _Yes, my child. You remember James Creel, do you not?"_ Snoke smiled, gesturing to the approaching man.

"Hello, Vex. It's been a long time," Creel said, a pleasant smile on his handsome features. She flinched away when he reached towards her, tracing the collar around her neck. "And you're wearing my creation – how fortuitous,"

James Creel had been Vex's tutor when she was only eleven. He'd been a bounty hunter and spy all over the galaxy before Snoke had contracted him to teach Vex all that he knew. He was only twelve years older than her, but even then, even at twenty-three and oh-so-very handsome, Creel's interest had been much more focused on little girls like Vex.

He'd created the Creel collar to keep her from fighting back.

But when Snoke had found out, Creel had been exiled to the furthest reaches of the galaxy. Vex wished, _especially_ now, that he'd killed him. But, instead, Snoke had brought him back to wage war upon her.

 _"Please,"_ Vex uttered, eyes finding the man who'd raised her. Looking as smug as sin, Snoke leaned back in his throne.

" _You know what I want, Vex. That is the only way out of this_ ," he told her. Her eyes dropped in defeat. " _Creel will take you to sick bay to be treated. He will bring you back to heel, as he has before_ ," Snoke stated lazily. " _I only hope the next time we see each other, you'll be seeing sense,"_

 _"_ Please _,"_ the sob burst out of Vex's throat, her skin growing itchy with her panic. " - _father, please!_ "

Snoke looked down at her with some interest, and a smile spread across his misshapen lips. _"And so it begins_ ," he uttered, watching her head bow with shame. Creel's hand wrapped around her arm, yanking her to her feet.

" _Remember, Vex, as you so like to remind me – I am **not** your father,_"

 _34 ABY – Ahch-To_

Something was wrong.

Luke couldn't quite put his finger on it, but nothing had felt right since Vex had left, taking her son with him.

He'd been lonelier than he's ever been before. After so many years of solitude, he was suddenly lacking all he'd had before. A daughter, _of sorts_ , and by that extension, a grandson.

He could only assume that this feeling had something to do with Vex because of it. He'd deliberated for several long hours before he'd finally decided to open himself up and reach out for her.

Sitting upon the meditation rock at the mouth of the Jedi temple, Luke followed her path among the stars. First he traced her path to D'Qar, then to Jakku. Then into the hands of evil.

Luke's eyes snapped open, immediately clamping down upon his powers and drawing back into himself.

 _Vex had been captured._

Luke rose, starting down the island's rocky path.

 _Vex was in hideous pain. Isolated from the Force, somehow. Tortured by someone truly cruel._

Luke found himself standing at the edge of the cliff, looking down upon the crashing waves below. Beneath the water, his old X-wing stared up at him.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewer last chapter - Mstngsali1! You're the best!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 31**

 _34 ABY – D'Qar_

Poe hadn't returned home to D'Qar victorious as he'd hoped. With Vex on his arm, ready to celebrate the map they'd hoped to find. No, Poe had returned alone. Battered, scared, and a total failure. Without Vex. Without the map.

Telling Leia was nothing, after all he'd gone through. He was ashamed, sure. But all of that felt far away, buried beneath the worry and heartbreak of Vex's capture. He was in a daze. Shell-shocked.

He didn't even have BB-8. The one of a kind droid Vex had built for _him_. What did that say about Poe as a person? At the first possible moment, he lost everything. In one fell swoop.

"Poe," Leia's voice came, along with a warm hand on his shoulder, startling him from his thoughts. "Go get some rest. We'll talk more in the morning,"

His footsteps carried him not to his own quarters, but to Vex's. After a few moments of staring dumbly at the door, he approached. It took Poe a few tries to remember her door code, but within a few minutes he was inside.

Looking at the room as how had Vex had left it a week ago. How they _both_ had left it. Ever since that fateful, wonderful night, he'd spent all his time here. With her. He'd only left to grab more clothes, or when Vex had barked that he was hovering.

Poe had known from that moment – that first _kiss_ – that he loved her. And that Vex loved him, even if she didn't say it. She said it without words. Love was in her eyes when she looked at him, when she brushed a curl from his forehead. When her hand skirted across his back as she passed.

The sheets were still rumpled from their late awakening before the mission. Poe's shirt was draped over a chair at the foot of the bed, beneath Vex's datapad. He knew if he turned it on, it would play a video of Anakin. If Poe had to guess, it was the one he'd taken of the little boy exploring his new room on Yavin 4.

Poe sat down on the bed, toeing off his boots and lay back on the bed. Where he was surrounded by her warm, musky scent. He turned his head to the pillow, inhaling deeply.

 _I'll find you, Vex. I'll return you to your son_ , Poe swore as he drifted off.

 _The Supremacy_

Vex was back in her old quarters again. But she wasn't alone.

Creel was here. The cowardly man who had invented a collar to block Force powers in order to rape a little girl. Over and over. For years. When Snoke had found out, he'd been furious. In his first and only fatherly gesture, he'd banished Creel from the First Order and promised to kill him if they ever crossed paths again.

The only father Vex had ever known had tortured her for years, but somehow _this_ was worse. Snoke had betrayed her to the only man he'd ever scorned for her. The only man besides him she'd ever felt powerless before.

Creel had been quick to sweep her in and out of sick bay, hardly pausing long enough to have her wounds closed. Vex could still feel them, pulsing with pain just below the surface. Worst of all were the burning lines that crossed her face. The sharpness of it had faded, but the ache of it throbbed in time with her heartbeat. Every time her expression shifted, they erupted like a line of fire across her face.

Vex had come into her quarters ready to fight. The moment he'd tried to push her towards the bedroom, she'd swung her arm back to hit him. Creel had darted out of the way, hand shooting to a thin band around his wrist.

And, _suddenly_ , an electric current was coursing through her body, paralyzing Vex. She dropped to the floor, her teeth clacking together, muscles locking in place.

Tears were running down her cheeks. She could feel the salt burning into the wounds on her face. Creel knelt beside her, settling a hand on the back of her head as she seized. Vex could feel it there, slowly growing heavier and heavier as he pressed her face against the cold floor.

After an eternity – or what felt like one, anyway – he turned the current off. Vex sagged against the floor, a whimper finally escaping her lips. " _What…the…f-fuck.._ "

Creel's fingers tightened in her hair, dragging her head back so she had to look him in the face. "I'll not tolerate a filthy mouth," he hissed, dropping her back to the floor as he stood. "The electricity is an upgrade I've added to the collar. When the Supreme Leader reached out to me, he told me just how far gone you were. I knew you'd need incentive,"

" _You're a…coward…S-sick,_ " his fingers were at his bracelet before she'd finished the sentence. A swift shock went through Vex, eliciting a cry.

"On your feet!" he barked.

Slowly, painfully, Vex climbed to her feet. She trembled as Creel looked her up and down, circling carefully.

"You're a woman now, Vex," he said, catching her by the chin. She flinched, trying to draw away, but he held firm. "You know I always like my girls young – but _you_ , Vex, you'll _always_ be my girl," Creel said with a pleasant smile, his eyes cold.

He pointed past her to the door to her old bedroom. "Now!" he ordered.

x

x  
x

During,

she'd stared at the corner of the room where she'd built EV-9. Or the space before the bed, where she and Kylo had their first Force-bond. Or this very bed, where they'd conceived four babies. Anakin.

Her one and only true love. For him, she would endure any pain. Any humiliation. And Vex knew they would be many. And great.

Vex would not break.

After,

Creel trailed a hand down her scar-roughened back after he'd dressed. Vex fought back the urge to shiver. "That wasn't so bad, was it? You're on your way, Vex," he bent forward, hot breath brushing her ear. A sob left her throat.

"Welcome to re-education, Vex."

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewer last chapter - Mstngsali1! You're the best!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 32**

 _34 ABY – The Supremacy_

After only a few hours, Creel had decided he wanted her clean and new again. Soft. Young. Vex's many scars only served to remind him of her apparently advanced age. He'd taken her back to the sick bay and questioned the doctors on how to rid her of them. They'd been reluctant to answer, after how they'd seen how Vex's eyes were wide with fear.

"After so many years, the scars won't simply go away with topical treatments. The only way to remove them would be to remove any layers of skin affected. It would weeks to heal," one said.

There was a terrible glint to Creel's eye as he leaned forward. "And with the aid of a bacta tank?" he inquired.

"No! Creel-" Vex tried to say, only to watch his hand stray towards the band around his wrist. Her mouth clapped shut, filled with a sudden fear of the device around her neck that not only rendered her defenseless but also delivered paralyzing electric shocks on demand.

"Days, maybe? It's hard to say without knowing for sure how deeply the scars run,"

"Start now," Creel ordered, getting to his feet and adjusting his robes.

"Lady Vex, come this way and we'll get you comfortable before giving you a sedative," a female doctor - new, by the looks of it, said as the others moved to ready their materials.

Slowly, Vex began to rise, a heaviness in her stomach. It was beginning – she felt it. Darkness – fear, welling up within her. Vex was filled with the urge to scream.

"No." Creel said suddenly.

"Sir?" the woman asked.

Creel glanced from Vex to the doctor, a smile quirking at the corner of her mouth. "There will be no sedative. Lady Vex will remain awake," he explained, quite matter-of-factly.

"That would be torture, sir," the doctor pointed out.

Creel turned his gaze back to Vex, as the blood drained from her face. "You're right. Vex, will you reconsider? Shall we go to the Supreme Leader and tell him what he wishes to know? Give him what he wants?" he asked, giving her a way out.

Vex glared at him, getting to her feet. "No." she refused, stepping past him to follow the doctor.

"As you wish," Creel said faintly, hands clasping before him. A smile played at his lips, as if he'd known her answer already.

The doctor guided her into another room to undress, her hands trembling all the while.

"Don't fight it," the woman whispered to Vex as she laid down on the surgery table. "Let the pain pull you under. If you fight it, it'll only be worse," the doctor said as she tied the restraints to Vex's limbs.

Vex said nothing, her cheek pressing against the padded table. She remained quiet through all the prep – the sharp looking instruments, the many bandages – the cold press of them cleaning her.

There was a window to the room. Creel stood on the other side, his pale eyes watchful. Vex resolved herself to endure this. She had no choice – betray Poe, betray her _son_ , and this could stop.

But yet, there was no guarantee Creel wouldn't insist on this torture anyway. To make her more desirable to him, which was the worst part. Not only was this torture, but Creel also did it for his own benefit. To make Vex fit the perfect image he'd created of her.

A sex toy.

He'd already shorn her hair. Where before Vex's hair had been long and full of curls, now it only fell to her chin. The last time she'd had hair this short was when she was twelve. When Creel had last molested her.

He was trying to turn back the clock.

Make her into his little victim again. Turn her back into Snoke's mindless slave.

Vex would never be that again. Even if it meant this. Even if it meant never seeing her son, or Poe again.

Even if it meant her death.

She tensed as a scalpel was pressed to her shoulder. "Give in," the woman whispered again. Vex's teeth gritted together as the scalpel began to drag through her skin.

It was only seconds before Vex began to scream.

 _34 ABY – The Millennium Falcon_

Han Solo hadn't known what to think when his beloved ship had come back into his grasp again. Even with two troublesome young people – and an odd droid – stowing away.

Finn and Rey. BB-8.

He was taking them to Takodana. To Maz, who'd surely know what to do. Han wasn't sure of either of Finn _or_ Rey, both of them reminding him so strongly of people he'd once known.

Han could hear them whispering even now, his ears catching _KYLO REN_ and _VEX_. Han swiveled in the chair, surprising the two. Chewbacca howled, keeping the controls.

"Alright, now what is so damn interesting?" Han questioned. "All this whispering – _pst, pst_ – is driving me nuts!"

The braver of the two, Rey, piped up, eyes bright with intrigue. "Finn was telling me about Vex Valorum," she said.

"Who's that?" he questioned.

"The Reaper," Finn answered.

"Why would you want to talk about her?" Han said, leaning back in his chair as he pictured the villain.

"Well, it's fascinating!" Rey babbled. "She went missing three years ago – joined the Resistance, Finn says!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, Poe told me." Finn said sourly.

"But Kylo Ren just captured her, on Jakku! Finn said he took her to Snoke!"

A glimmer of guilt hit Han. His _son_. Forcing that poor woman back. "How do you know that?" Han questioned.

"I was undercover on the Finalizer. For the Resistance," Finn said, eyes darting back and forth uncertainly. "She stole something from Snoke. He wants it back – or otherwise they'd have just killed her,"

Han leaned forward. "What did she steal?" he asked.

Finn and Rey mirrored him, leaning in close. It was clear by the girl's expression that Finn hadn't gotten that far in his story yet.

"I don't know for sure, but they say Snoke wanted an heir, through Lady Vex. When she fell pregnant, they say she ran away and hid her child away in the furthest reaches of the galaxy, somewhere Snoke would never find it," Finn explained.

"Smart girl," Han said, a spark of sympathy in his chest for the woman. "Did Snoke father the child?"

"No," Finn says. "Lady Vex, Reaper, was Kylo Ren's partner. They say _he_ fathered her child,"

 _34 ABY – The Finalizer_

Kylo Ren was at a crossroads. Between his duty to the First Order and his worry for Vex. For his son.

He knew, without a doubt, in his very marrow, that Vex would never break. That she would _never_ betray their son's location. Or, rather, where it would be found. That she would die first, enduring unspeakable pain.

Kylo Ren expected that even now, she must be suffering much. But with that Creel collar, she was kept completely cut off the Force.

He couldn't even sense her. Could not lend her strength to help her endure. Reassure himself that she still lived.

But now he couldn't. Now Kylo Ren didn't know if all they'd worked for was gone.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1! You're the best!

and Victoria Pontmercy - thank you so much! That means so much!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 33**

 _34 ABY – D'Qar_

"Is it true, Leia? Is our son a father?" Han questioned once he was finally alone with his wife.

Leia nodded, eyes glittering with tears. "Vex brought our grandson here, Han. His name is Anakin," she admitted, plucking up her datapad to show him pictures.

"A grandson," Han echoed, eyes tracing the image of a smiling, dark haired and eyed toddler. "He looks just like Ben… is he here?" Han questioned, a hint of hope in his voice.

Leia shook her head regretfully. "Vex and I agreed to send him into hiding with Ayla'Lyn. Ayla'Lyn was Vex's nanny, before Snoke took her,"

"Oh," Han breathed, brows knitted. He sucked in a deep breath. "What did she say of our son?"

Leia laid a hand on her husband's arm. "That there was still hope for him. To find the light. Vex believes her son is her redemption, and that he could be Ben's, too,"

"Did she know what he thought of being a father?"

"She said he loved him. _Anakin_. That he helped her escape the First Order, knowing he may never meet him. He believed the First Order was no place for their child," Leia said, the first tears beginning to fall.

"But that's just fine for him, huh?" Han said bitterly.

Leis sighed. "I don't know anymore, Han. Vex said there'd been no way for them to escape together. And he spent those three years doing his best to keep them hidden,"

Han paced the room, not knowing what to think.

"Han," Leia said softly, putting a hand on his arm. "Anakin needs his father. And so does Ben,"

 _Ahch-To_

Sweat beaded on Luke's brow, his eyes clenched tight as he concentrated on the Force around him, surrounding his X-Wing.

Wind and rain whipped at him, his hair and cloak already drenched from the storm.

It'd been such a long time since he'd done this. Like a muscle, it'd atrophied. He felt as if he was lifting the ship himself.

Inch by inch, foot by foot, the X-Wing rose over the waves.

Luke felt like Yoda was there, laughing at him.

Hours later, or what _felt_ like hours, his X-Wing sat safely on the bluff before him.

Now, the real work began. It wasn't as if the ship could fly after twelve years below the surface.

He would get it ready – as fast as he could – because Luke wasn't going to let the galaxy suffer anymore, not when he could do something about it. He wasn't going to let _Vex_ suffer anymore, not if he could save her.

Even if it meant facing the man that was once his student. His nephew.

 _Starkiller Base_

"Where am I?" the scavenger asked.

" _You're my guest._ " The man in the mask – Kylo Ren – answered.

"Where are the others?"

" _You mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to hear I have no idea_." Kylo said, pacing closer to her. His helmet tilted to the side. " _You still want to kill me,_ "

Rey studied him. She was fearful… but curious. "That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask." she growled.

Kylo Ren stopped, considering her. Then he reached up and removed his mask.

Rey stares at him dumbly. It takes a moment to regain her own mask of defiance. Kylo Ren approached and she shrinks away. " _Tell me about the droid._ "

"He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyperscan vindicator-" she recited, knowing that wasn't what he was looking for.

" _It's carrying a section of a navigational chart. And we have the rest, recovered from the archives of the Empire – but we need the last piece. And somehow, you convinced the droid to show it to you. You. A scavenger,_ " he said skeptically.

"Vex Valorum built that droid."

Astonishment crossed Kylo Ren's face for but a moment, he quickly hid it. " _You know I can take whatever I want,_ " he warned.

Kylo Ren raised a hand up before her. Rey cringed, feeling the invasion of her mind. " _You're so lonely… so afraid to leave… at night, desperate to sleep. You imagine an ocean. I see it… I see the island. And Han Solo. You feel like he's the father you never had. He would have disappointed you._ "

"Get out of my head!" she cried.

" _I know you've seen the map. It's in there. And now you'll give it to me._ " he paused. " _Don't be afraid, I feel it too._ "

"I'm not giving you anything." Rey insisted.

" _We'll see._ " Ren growled, fingers flexing as he pushed harder, trying to find the image in her mind.

But Rey was fighting it. And all of a sudden, she had the upper hand.

"You… you're afraid…" Rey said, eyes burning into his face. "…that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader…" he reeled back, hand dropping back to his side.

They're both surprised – they react to a feeling that passed between them. An energy they recognize in each other. Rey's brows furrowed.

"-and there's something else… you're scared _for_ someone… a woman, a child… _your_ child," Rey's head tilted, eyes slowly sliding shut. Kylo Ren took a step back.

"You're afraid that the first time you see your son's face is the day he comes to kill you… just _like_ Darth Vader,"

" _Enough!_ " the man cried. Ren's face was drawn and pale, dark eyes haunted. They stared at each other for several long moments before Kylo Ren fled the room.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1, Victoria Pontmercy, and Guest!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 34**

 _34 ABY -_ _Starkiller Base_

"Ben!"

Kylo Ren paused on the bridge, fingers flexing. Then he turned to face that familiar voice. His father. Han Solo stood at the other end of the bridge, the red lights reflecting off the man. " _That is not my name._ " he growled, voice distorted through the helmet.

"It's the name your mother gave you. The one _I_ gave you." Han insisted, striding towards him. "Take that damn thing off! Let me see the face of my son!"

After a moment of consideration, Kylo removed the helmet, dropping it to the bridge with a loud clang. His father stepped closer, an age-weathered hand pressing to Kylo's cheek. Han's eyes absorbed his features greedily. "Your son looks just like you, Ben,"

Kylo Ren took a step backward in surprise. "What?" he questioned. "You've seen Anakin?" he asked.

"Pictures. From your mother," Han explained. "He has your hair. Your eyes. Your smile. His mother's face, I think. Not that I've seen hers,"

The young man stood silently, eyes fixed on the floor as he considered this. "I know I failed you as a father, Ben," Han said suddenly, taking a step closer to his son.

Kylo's eyes flashed to him in surprise. "I am well aware of that fact," he said coldly.

Han sucked in a deep breath. "I was never there for you. Not for the big moments, not for the small ones. Not when you needed me. I'm _sorry_ , Ben," Han said, holding out a hand to his son.

"What do you want me to say?" Kylo Ren asked, fists clenching tightly.

"I don't need you to say anything. I just need you to listen. I was a bad father –"

"You said that already," he interrupted, face set in discomfort.

"Damn it, Ben!" Han growled, dragging a hand down his face in aggravation. "I may not have been there for you, but do you _truly_ believe that I don't – didn't – love you? That your mother didn't love you?" he questioned.

His son's gaze focused on the floor, avoiding Han's eyes. "Look at me, Ben!"

"What point are you trying to make, Han?" Kylo asked, glancing up to his father with angry eyes.

Han sighed. "Your son needs a father, Ben,"

"My _son_ is none of your concern, Han," he muttered, beginning to reach down for his helmet again.

"Maybe not. But I am. Concerned, that is. Your son is out there alone somewhere. You're here. Vex – well, only you know where she is, I'd bet," Han began, reaching for Kylo's arm. He stepped away, eluding his father. "Your son is out there, Ben. Without any parents. He _needs_ you – _Vex_ needs you! Not Kylo Ren, they need _Ben!_ "

"Ben Solo was weak. He cannot help anyone,"

"Then why did she name your son Anakin _Solo_? After _you_. _Ben_ Solo," Han questioned. Kylo Ren had nothing to say to that, lips parting for a moment. "You're so sure Ben is gone, but I see him in your eyes. The boy I taught to pilot the Millennium Falcon. The boy Leia taught calligraphy. Someone who is kind and _loves_. That is who your son needs, I promise you,"

"You don't understand,"

"What don't I understand, Ben?"

Kylo begins to pace. "That everything I have done and will do is to protect my son. To protect his mother. You have _no_ idea what the Supreme Leader has asked of me!"

"What has he asked you to do?"

"I wish to be free of this pain. I'm being torn apart," Kylo said, blinking through eyes full of tears.

It didn't elude Han that Kylo didn't answer the question. "Ben," Han said, hands grabbing at his arms. "Let me help you," he pleaded.

"I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it,"

"I'll help you," Han promised.

Kylo Ren looked at him for a long moment before pulling away. "You can't," he says, picking up his helmet and beginning to walk away.

"It doesn't have to be like this, Ben!" Han called after him.

"Yes, it does," Kylo replied. "Now, _go_. Before he makes me kill you,"

Han looked at his son long and hard, beginning to step backward. "This isn't over, Ben. Even if it kills me, I'll see you away from this place. The First Order. I'll see you holding your son,"

Kylo didn't turn back to look at his father. He felt Han Solo slipping away, leaving the chamber. "Goddamn it," he whispered, dropping the helmet again to run gloved fingers through his hair.

 _Why did I do that? Why did I spare him?_ Kylo questioned himself. Snoke would surely make him suffer for it.

The more he questioned himself, the more a voice began to ring in his mind. A familiar voice. A voice that had become Kylo Ren's conscience. _You have parents who love you!_

 _The Supremacy_

" _What news do you have for me?_ "

James Creel knelt before the Supreme Leader, his eyes lowered. "Your child's re-education is well under way, Supreme Leader."

Snoke rested his misshapen chin on a fist. " _Is that_ **_all_** _you deem to tell me, Lord Creel? It is by my grace that you still live…_ " he growled in warning.

The other man exhaled lowly. "I am exceedingly aware, Supreme Leader. You must understand that this is a delicate process… it requires much diligence,"

Snoke stood, arms folding behind his back. " _And diligent you have been. Do not think me blind, boy. I know your intentions,"_ he said, pacing in circles around Creel. _"You have taken my young apprentice apart, that is true, but I suspect it is more in service to your desires than in service to me,"_

"I would never go against your wishes, Supreme Leader," Creel said, voice tremulous.

" _See that you don't, lord Creel. You may have pulled Vex apart... but if you do not put her back together again, as I deem fit..."_

Creel drew in a long breath. "I swear, Supreme Leader, you will not be disappointed,"

Snoke paused behind him, laying a heavy hand on Creel's shoulder. " _If you fail me, Creel, I will do as I should have done twelve years ago... and make you long for something as sweet as death,"_

 _Starkiller Base_

There were many things Kylo Ren knew at that moment. He knew he would be punished for failing to kill his father. And he knew it'd be worse if he did nothing as the Starkiller Base was destroyed. And he _knew_ that he would not be the only one to suffer.

Vex _already_ suffered, but Snoke wouldn't hesitate to use her to punish him. Harm her further. He had threatened as much many times over the last three years.

So Kylo had tried to _re_ -capture the Scavenger. And somehow, just like before, she had gained the upper hand. With no knowledge of the force, no training, she had defeated _him_. Struck him down. Laid him low.

Kylo had hoped to present the Scavenger to Snoke. With the hopes of distracting his master with a new apprentice. A fiery young woman with raw, untamed power. She might distract him just enough to allow Kylo Ren to slip away. With Vex.

But instead, he lay in a bank of snow. With a line of fire burning across his face.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 35**

 _34 ABY – The Supremacy_

His face still burned. After rushed treatment aboard the _Supremacy_ , Kylo Ren's wounds had been cleaned and covered with thick bacta bandages. He was expected to go straight to Snoke and answer for his failures, but first he'd found _her_.

Vex. In the medical bay. Floating in a bacta tank, eyes closed in almost peace. She was bare except for a nude colored singlet, and of course the Creel collar. Kylo had caught sight of her and hadn't been able to tear himself away.

She was changed. Her long hair shorn away, short locks floating about her face. A face that boasted scars where they hadn't before. Just like him. A line from chin to forehead, sealed by a bacta bandage.

Kylo supposed that it was to be expected. He knew she would be punished. But there was something else. Something he hadn't been able to put his finger on at first.

Kylo Ren knew Vex's body, and something was different. Missing.

"She's a beauty, isn't she? The procedure was a success," a voice said from behind him.

Kylo turned to find a man behind him, with slicked back blond hair and cold blue eyes. He recognized him, _faintly_ , as if he'd seen the man in some sort of vision.

"Procedure?" he questioned stiffly, looking back to Vex to see what could have been done.

"Her scars, Lord Ren. I had the doctors remove them," the man answered.

"How?"

The man smiled, looking somehow more chilling for it. "They had to remove the disfigured skin. And then attach new skin grafts in their place,"

"You… _skinned_ her?" Kylo Ren questioned, catching a glimpse into the other man's mind. A glimpse of _Vex_ – writhing, _screaming_ – blood everywhere. His fists clenched.

After a few moments, he became aware of the man talking. "Who _are_ you?" he said, cutting him off.

The man stared at him for a long moment, mouth falling shut. "James Creel, of course. Lady Vex's teacher, before _you_ arrived,"

The name rang a bell. Kylo Ren remembered him. From his force-bonds with Vex, where he'd seen just what Creel had done to her as a child. He turned the full force of his glare to Creel. The other man barely seemed to notice, his greedy eyes fixed on Vex.

"Why are you here?"

Creel turned back to him. "The Supreme Leader asked me to bring Vex back to heel. Apparently, she needed a hand firmer than yours," he taunted.

Kylo fixed his unrelenting gaze on the other man, catching another glimpse of the mind in his cold eyes. A flash of Vex's terrified face – _blood_ – her bare body splayed across a bed – Creel _raping_ her.

It wasn't until Creel's voice rang out again that Kylo Ren realized he'd begun to advance on him. The other man had stumbled back a few steps, fear clearly written across his features. "-is done, Lord Ren. Snoke gave her to me, and I've shown Vex her place. In time, she'll accept it," Creel said, seeming to regain his arrogance once Kylo had paused.

The blond glanced to the side, beckoning over one of the doctors. "Wake Lady Vex," he ordered.

The woman's mouth dropped open. "But, sir –"

"Now!" Creel barked.

Kylo watched in silence as the doctor scurried to the Bacta Tank, punching something into the display. He watched as the liquid drained from the tank and she was moved to a cot as she woke. He watched as the pain returned to her and silent tears left her eyes, mouth opening in a silent scream.

When Vex's eyes found Creel, she began to sob in earnest. The doctor hovered over her, eyes wide and pitying. "How do you feel, Lady Vex?" she asked kindly.

A strangled noise left her throat. "I feel –" she began, abruptly cutting off when Kylo stepped into her line of sight. "Kylo," Vex choked out, a hand weakly reaching out to him.

He couldn't help himself. Kylo stepped past Creel, who watched with great interest, and took Vex's shaking hand in both of his. Her brows furrowed in concern once she saw the new scar marring his face. "Y-your face-e," she stuttered.

"It's nothing," Kylo dismissed quickly. "How do you feel?"

"L-like I'm on-n-n fire-e," Vex confessed, her body beginning to shudder. Her eyes slipped past Kylo to find Creel. Her face creased with fear, her gaze turning back to Kylo. "P-please – please!" she began to beg, her hand clinging harder to him. He was beginning to tremble himself, with ill contained rage.

"I'm afraid it's not his choice, my dear," Creel said, stepping forward to stand beside Kylo Ren. "Your father, the Supreme Leader, has placed you in my care. Lord Ren has no say," he continued with no small amount of smugness. "You should go, Lord Ren," Creel said without looking away from Vex's frightened features.

Vex's eyes immediately shot to Kylo's, and he could feel the desperation within. How she was pleading with him to rescue her, how she knew he wanted nothing more.

But Creel was right. Kylo Ren had _no_ say. After a long moment, he dropped Vex's hand and stepped away. A nasty sob left her throat and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to weep with her.

"Bring a covering!" Creel barked at the doctor. She returned reluctantly after a few moments, with a thin robe that she helped Vex into. Then the man was dragging Vex from the cot and towards the door, all while Kylo Ren stood idly by, hands clasped behind his back.

As the door slid open, Vex snuck one last glance back. Her expression was filled with betrayal – and pain. Kylo made a quick gesture with his fingers, the movement hidden behind his back.

Vex's eyes went wide with surprise, taking in a deep gulp of air as the Force rushed back into her, filling her with strength.

 _I cannot help you_ , Kylo's voice echoed in her mind. **_You_** _must kill him_.

Vex had no time to process the warning before Creel had pulled her from the room and out of Kylo's grasp.

Kylo Ren inhaled a shuddering breath.

Now she had a chance.

x

" _How did this happen?!_ " Snoke raged, pacing back and forth in his throne room. Kylo Ren was on his hands and knees before his master, eyes fixed on the floor. _"You are nothing but a failure, Kylo Ren! You failed to kill Han Solo! Failed to capture the girl!_ "

Kylo drew in a deep breath. "I am sorry for my failures, Master. I will not fail you again,"

Snoke paused in his pacing. _"And yet, you would ask a boon of me_ ," he growled wearily. He dragged a hand down his misshapen face. Snoke sat upon his throne, leaning a heavy hand on his knees. _"Go on…if you dare,_ " he said in warning.

Kylo lifted his head to meet Snoke's milky-eyed gaze. "Please, Supreme Leader. Return Vex to me."

 _"Why_?" Snoke questioned flatly. " _Why should I reward your failure?_ "

"Because Creel has destroyed her! You did not see what I saw, Master! He will break Vex beyond all repair, beyond returning her to your side! Creel only wants to despoil her, he cares nothing for your word!"

Snoke stared at him dully, unimpressed by his outburst. " _Or, perhaps, that is exactly what will return my child to my side,"_ he said coolly in return.

 _"Please_ , Master," Kylo begged.

 _"It interests me how Lord Creel's presence has undone you, Ren,"_ Snoke said suddenly, his eyes alighting on the door behind him as it slid open. _"When it has so clearly returned Vex's strength,"_ he continued, as figures appeared in the doorway.

Kylo Ren was on his feet in a flash as Phasma, in her blood-spattered chrome armor helped Vex limp into the throne room.

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1, guest, and Victoria Pontmercy!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 36**

 _34 ABY – The Supremacy_

The Force felt like fire ants marching in Vex's veins, filling her with a rage, a strength she didn't know how to control. She let Creel pull her along in the halls, dumbfounded by the sudden return of her power.

Kylo had switched something off in the collar. He hadn't been able to save her, and the agony of that had been in his eyes. But he'd helped her.

Before, with the collar working, Vex had felt nothing. Nothing but fear and pain. But without it inhibiting her abilities, all her power had returned. And she felt _everything_.

Pain. Fear. Love, for Anakin. Poe. Kylo. But that was pushed back, behind everything. Behind a veil. What Vex felt most strongly was _rage_. She wanted to hurt someone. _Kill_ , like she'd never felt before.

She craved to feel bones break and skin split beneath her fingers. To choke the very life out of the man who'd done this to her.

The darkness had Vex now, more powerfully than it'd ever had before.

Vex followed Creel dumbly, stumbling behind him as she tried to make sense of it all. Her vision was blurred and hazy, seeing nothing but red. Until a Stormtrooper outfitted in black passed her.

Vex's head spun, tracking the soldier. Her eyes cleared just enough to catch her insignia on his shoulder.

A Killtrooper. _Her_ Killtrooper.

Vex only wondered if they were still encoded to follow her commands alone. "Stop!" she shouted hoarsely. Creel ignored her, but the soldier had frozen. A smile spread over her lips as Vex was towed onwards.

x

 _34 ABY – D'Qar_

"I don't know if I reached him." Han said quietly, hands hanging limply by his knees. Leia sat opposite him, expression severe. "I truly thought he would kill me, Leia,"

"But he didn't," she said, relief crossing her features. She leaned forward to take her husband's hands. "Vex told me once how Snoke had forced her to confront her own parents. She broke with them, so it only makes sense that he'd want Ben to too-"

Han lifted his head. "And by not breaking with us, he's failed Snoke's task. There _is_ still light in him," he said with great hope.

Leia smiled, tightening her hold on Han's hands. "You must go, Han. Take Rey to Luke. Convince him to return. We need him. _Vex_ needs him," she instructed.

"And you think he'll come? That he'll listen to me?"

Leia sighed, tensing in her seat. "If not for us, he will for Vex. He took her on as a student, helped her heal after escaping Snoke. He delivered our grandson, Han," she murmured. "He _must_ care for her. Hopefully enough to come out of hiding,"

"But not for you, his sister? Or me? Or Ben?" Han said with no small amount of bitterness. Leia didn't bother to hide the hurt in her expression. Han exhaled, smoothing a hand along her cheek. "I'm sorry,"

She shook her head. "You're not wrong, Han. But it's the only card we have to play. If Luke didn't care to help us, we must try and see if he'll care to help Vex," she said.

Han nodded slowly, leaning forward to press his lips to hers. "I'll bring him back. One way or another, the little shit,"

x

 _34 ABY – The Supremacy_

The moment they entered her quarters, Vex yanked out of Creel's grasp. "It's over, Creel," she growled, hands clenching into fists.

He sighed without turning to look at her. "Vex, I thought you understood. I thought you'd remembered your place," Creel said.

"My place is not your victim. Not your _sex_ toy,"

Creel sighed again, mournfully. "As long as Snoke leaves you in my care… you are. My toy, anyway,"

Her fists trembled with ill-contained rage. The urge to hurt – to destroy – was growing ever more powerful beneath Vex's skin, like lava beneath the surface. Burning and consuming all it touched. Breath was escaping her in starved gasps as Creel turned to finally face her.

She focused all her power on the collar around her neck, willing its destruction. Almost instantly, its heavy weight disappeared from her skin, turning to dust and ash, falling to the floor at her feet.

All the blood drained from Creel's face, hand itching towards that band on his wrist, useless as it was now. Vex jerked her hand to the side, watching with fascination as he mirrored the movement, arm cracking audibly.

Creel howled out in pain, falling to his knees as he cradled his broken wrist. Vex took a step closer, hazy eyes fixed on him with a dark curiosity, a _pleasure_ taken from hurting him. "How very…weak you are, Creel," she said.

"How?" he questioned in disbelief. Vex only smiled. "Ren…" Creel growled after a moment in realization.

"Oh yes… he may not have been able to save me from you, but he could help me _destroy_ you…" Vex murmured, gesturing with a hand. Creel was dragged up from the floor, held in the air by his collar. "As I should have done when I was a child. As _Snoke_ should have done,"

Creel let out a bitter laugh. "He knew he could use me against you in the future, as he has done! It is the only reason he let me liv-" Vex threw out her hand, cutting off his words. He choked in mid-air, hands scrabbling at something that was not truly there.

Vex watched his struggle for air for several long moments in thoughtful consideration. "I would not have you die without witnesses," she said suddenly, throwing one hand behind her, the doors to her quarters sliding open. Then she flung the hand holding Creel up back, sending him hurtling through the air to slam into the wall outside her quarters.

Vex stormed out into the corridor, finding Creel crumpled against the wall. The people in the halls – several officers and Phasma, even, had paused at the commotion. "You will all bear witness!" she declared, throwing up a hand to freeze them in their tracks before they had a chance to move.

"Bear witness to what, Lady Reaper?" Phasma asked bravely, voice strangled from inside her Chrome armor.

Vex did not lift her gaze from Creel's terrified eyes. "The death of a cockroach – a _coward_ ," she answered.

"You cannot kill me! Snoke-" Creel cried out, only for an audible crack to force his head to the side. The lines of a red handprint slowly raised on his pale cheek.

Vex advanced on him, not sparing a glance at the others as she stood over Creel. "Snoke will rejoice when I kill you, _vermin_ ," she hissed. "And if you truly think otherwise… he has tricked you, too,"

The surprise that crossed his features was palpable, a balm to Vex's growing rage. A moment that brought clarity. Doubt.

 _Vex, you do not want to do this._ A voice in her mind said suddenly, a voice she knew well. _Forgive, my child_ …

 _You do not know what he has done to me!_ Vex thought in response, extending her arm. Her assault on Creel began again, pulled into the air by the Force, gasping for air. _He deserves this!_

The response came as swift and as loud as thunder – _this is not who you are anymore, Vex! Stop!_

Her rage only grew in response to his words. _No!_ Vex screamed, sweeping the presence from her mind. Vex used the Force to slam Creel back into the wall, his eyes rolling in his skull from the impact and then he dropped to the floor.

He coughed and gasped on the floor, slowly rising to his knees. "I knew you couldn't do it, Vex…" Creel growled, a sick look in his eye. "You'll _always_ be my girl," he taunted.

Vex let out a shriek of anger, extending her arm and clenching her fingers into a fist. Creel screamed, hands slamming to his face as agony erupted in his head. "You want me to spare you, Creel?" she said after a moment, letting her hand fall to her side and the torment end. He nodded wildly, blood beginning to leak from his eyes and ears.

"Then tell me you will _never_ use that collar again. That you will _never_ lay your hands on another girl again," Vex demanded. She could feel the eyes on her, especially those of Phasma. She could feel the other woman's outrage growing. Vex fed off of it, off of her approval.

Creel turned a derisive look towards her, mouth set in a scowl. "You can't, can you? Tell me, Creel. How many girls did you molest after me?" she demanded.

He drew away, mouth forced into a thin line, huddling against the wall. " _TELL ME!_ " Vex screamed.

"THIRTEEN!" the number flew from his mouth before he could stop it. Creel slapped his uninjured hand to his mouth, cowering on the floor.

Vex reeled back, suddenly assaulted by the guilt of her past failure. Thirteen more girls had suffered because she had failed to snuff his life out when she had a chance. "I will not _fail_ again," she hissed. "Phasma, your blade," she called, the instrument flying into her hand before Phasma had had a chance to give it over herself.

"No!" Creel cried.

Vex stepped forward, her expression blank. "I am avenging them, Creel. Avenging _me_. And saving any other little children you may violate in the future," she said, raising the blade over her head.

Creel's screams filled the room as the blade fell, time and time again. The corridor was otherwise silent, except for Vex's heaving breaths.

When finally, _finally_ , Creel fell silent, Vex stepped back, blade clattering to the floor beside her. She panted loudly, spattered with blood from head to toe. Her grip fell from the others in the room, bodies relaxing from her tight hold.

"Phasma," she breathed, the chrome woman approaching her. She bent to pick up her bloodied blade before answering.

"Yes, Lady Reaper," Phasma said, voice filled with a certain awe.

"Take me to my father," Vex ordered.

"Yes, Lady Reaper," she repeated, offering her arm. Vex exhale heavily, taking the other woman's offered support. She limped off, leaning most of her weight on the other woman.

The rage inside of her had been snuffed out, as quickly a Creel's life had bled out of him. Vex was suddenly empty again, body sore and aching. The pain of that procedure still burned under her skin's surface. Whatever had overtaken her and made her feel so strong was gone.

* * *

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Thanks to my reviewer last chapter - Mstngsali1! Your constant support means more than you can know!

Thoughts?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 37**

 _34 ABY – Ahch-To_

Luke had felt the moment Vex had connected back to the Force. The lack of her over the last few days had been sheer torture. He'd thought the worst. That she'd been taken from them. Killed. But instead, she'd been forcefully cut off from the Force. From what she connected them all. But then she came back.

Luke had known it was too soon to rejoice. The moment he'd reached out to her, he'd felt her mind filled with rage. Darkness. On the precipice of murdering a man. A man who'd wronged her, to be fair. But it wasn't what Luke had taught her.

He'd warned her that pain was yet to come. Warned her to hold onto the light. _HER_ light. That was easier said than done, that Luke knew. But still, he'd been surprised by her. By her wrath. The deep-seated desire to kill that man.

He'd tried to warn her. Offer words of wisdom. Stop her. She hadn't taken it well. She'd refused and swept him from her mind with thunderous force.

Luke hadn't known what to do, then. He'd left his work on the X-Wing and took up his perch overlooking the island. He'd meditated, for a long time.

Vex had turned to the darkness, in a way she never had before. She'd been captured and tortured. Forced to endure unspeakable torments and finally had the chance to strike back.

It would have been quite a test of will for _anyone_ to do what Vex hadn't been able to. Let the man live. Let someone _else_ carry out the sentence. The deed had set Vex back firmly on the path of darkness.

Luke had to help her. He just didn't know how.

A glint of silver caught in the sun, shining into his half-opened eyes. A roar of an engine. He opened his eyes. A very familiar ship flew over Ahch-To's peak, before landing beside Luke's own X-Wing.

 _The Raddus_

"You're demoted," Leia growled to him, words followed by a slap.

"What?!" Poe cried. A hand raised to his cheek, rubbing the reddened flesh.

Leia drew in a deep breath, as if to calm herself. "What would Vex say about what you've done, Poe?" she questioned.

At the sound of her name, Poe deflated. Leia hated to throw her in his face, but ever since she'd been captured, Poe had been more reckless than ever before. He'd blamed himself.

"That I'm being an idiot. Throwing away lives," Poe admitted with a sigh.

Leia rested a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you should ask yourself that before you do something you know is risky," she advised. Poe stayed silent, gaze fixed on the floor. "Why did you do this, Poe?" she questioned.

He drew in a deep breath. "I dreamt of her last night, Leia. We were laying in bed, she was still in my arms. Warm. I thought she was home. _Saved_ ," Poe described. "And then I felt something. Dripping onto my arm. I opened my eyes and saw she was…" he swallowed thickly, eyes clouding with emotion. "Her throat was slit, Leia. Dead. In my arms,"

"Poe," she murmured, drawing him into her arms. "Vex is alive. I know it. I _feel_ it. You must keep hope alive in your heart,"

"How can you be so sure?" Poe questioned.

Leia pursed her lips. "I feel it, Poe. I know it. She will survive. And she will need you and Anakin more than ever,"

 _The Supremacy_

" _What is it, Phasma?_ " Snoke questioned.

She and Vex still stood in the entrance, Vex's bare arm wrapped around her chrome armor. Vex was breathing quickly, on the verge of falling unconscious. Kylo ached to go to her. "Lady Reaper has killed Lord Creel, Supreme Leader,"

 _"Really?"_ he inquired, leaning forward in interest. There was a maddened, feverish gleam in his eye. _"Is this true, my child?"_

"Yes," Vex said, eyes bright despite her obvious exhaustion.

 _"And how did it taste to kill him?"_

"Sweet," came Vex's hauntingly familiar answer. "Like Chantilly crème,"

Her voice was flat and robotic, devoid of all emotion. As if reciting from a script. Kylo Ren's eyes bore into her with distress. He didn't recognize this woman. Not since they'd met all those years ago had Vex been this cold.

Snoke laughed – a startling noise in the cavernous throne room. There was _joy_ on his misshapen features. He stood, spreading his arms wide. _"Come to me, my child_ ," he cooed.

Phasma supported Vex in her first steps towards him, but after that she pushed off to attempt it on her own. Vex made it only a few shaky steps before her legs crumbled beneath her.

Kylo launched himself over to her, catching her before she collided with the floor. In his arms Vex lay, trembling and gasping, eyes beginning to roll back in her head. "Vex!" he cried, giving her a shake.

Snoke's robes whispered against the floor as he approached. " _My poor child,_ " he said, reaching to take her from Kylo Ren's arms.

It took everything he had not to shield Vex from the tyrant.

Instead, he let Snoke pluck her away. The old man cradled Vex in his arms as if she weighed nothing. As he returned to his throne, Vex was kept bundled in his arms like a child. Like _his_ child.

 _"Captain Phasma, call for the doctors. Have a Bacta Tank brought here. I would keep my child close to me as she heals,"_ Snoke ordered, eyes never leaving the unconscious woman in his lap.

"Yes, Supreme Leader," the Chrome warrior said, speaking into her commlink as she left the throne room.

 _"And **you** ,"_ Snoke hissed then, eyes lifting from Vex's crumpled form. Kylo Ren fell back to his knees before his master at his incensed tone. _"I will deal with you and your **many** failures later,"_

* * *

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 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 38**

 _34 ABY – Ahch-To_

"Are you coming with me?" Rey questioned. She'd been halfway down the boarding ramp when she hadn't heard Han's steps follow her. He stood at the top, arms crossed over his chest. Han didn't seem to have any intention of following her.

"Sorry, Kid," Han said. "But if Luke wants to talk to me, he's going to have to bring his happy ass down here,"

Rey sighed. "Fair enough," she admitted, tugging on the straps of her pack to make sure it was secure. "But you'll be right here, right? You're not going to leave?" she asked, pausing before she'd step foot off the ramp.

"No, Kid. Not without you," Han said patiently, a fond smile on his lips. Chewbacca chipped in with a howl from somewhere inside the ship. "You heard him,"

Rey grinned and started off towards the peak where they'd seen a man perching as they'd flown over. She glanced back towards the Millennium Falcon no less than four times, and each time Han had still been there, watching.

He waved this last time, and Rey couldn't help but return the gesture – smile widening. Kylo Ren had said Han would disappoint her – but he hadn't. Not yet. She was determined not to let her own doubts – or those of others – affect her.

She'd found Luke Skywalker halfway up to the peak, as if he'd begun to descend to meet them. He paused at the sight of her, eyes intense. Rey closed the distance between them, rummaging through her pack for his lightsaber. Once her hands closed around the cool handle, she held it out to him.

Luke Skywalker eyed his lightsaber for several long moments. "I don't want that," he said finally, voice gruff.

" _What_?" Rey squawked in shock as he turned away. "The Resistance needs you. Your sister Leia sent me," she called, starting after him.

"In Han Solo's ship," Luke said without stopping. "Is _he_ not here?"

"He is," Rey confirmed.

"Then why is he not here to tell me himself?" Luke questioned, pausing to glance back at her. "Ah, I see. He's angry with me,"

Luke turned to her, brows furrowed. "Why would Leia send _you_? Who are you?"

"I'm Rey," she said uncertainly.

"Rey from where?"

"Nowhere,"

"No one's from nowhere," Luke said in a tired tone.

"I'm from Jakku,"

"So maybe that is nowhere. But you never answered my question,"

Rey stared at Luke, eyes glistening. "There's something inside of me. It's always been there. But now it's awake and I… I need a teacher,"

"No." Luke said quickly.

Rey's mouth fell open. "No? Just _no_?"

Luke sighed. "I have my hands full with the one apprentice I have right now. I cannot take another," he explained.

"You have an apprentice… who?" Rey questioned.

"Vex," Luke said softly, sadness in his eyes. "And I must save her." He glanced to Rey. "I cannot help you, young Rey. Not now,"

X

A dark cloaked figure crept down the mountain side towards the Millennium Falcon. Past Chewie where he sat a campfire, surrounded by Porgs. Past Rey, who'd fallen asleep at the Wookie's side.

Inside, where he turned on the lights. At the hologame table, Han Solo sat. "Hey, kid."

 _The Supremacy_

Snoke had been wrong.

It wasn't something he liked to admit, but it was true. He was wrong.

Snoke had thought – with Kylo Ren's Skywalker blood and raw, unpredictable power – that he would be his heir. The answer to his prayers. Everything the First Order needed.

But both of Snoke's apprentices held great power. Kylo Ren was unpredictable – wild. But Snoke had teased out _each_ steady inch of Vex's power.

His first – and youngest – apprentice had never failed to complete the task Snoke had set her. The power and control over the Force Vex had achieved was far beyond what Snoke had ever expected of her.

As a child, the power inside her had been little more than a pinprick of light in her heart. When Snoke had become aware of Vex, he'd been immediately taken with the idea of raising an apprentice on the path of darkness. There would be no pesky re-training. No breaking of old habits. No, Snoke had simply raised Vex in his image.

In all ways but blood, Vex _was_ his daughter. Snoke had taken her from neglectful parents. He'd raised her. Clothed and provided for. Taught her how to use her powers, how to grow them. Control them. And Vex had.

She could do anything Snoke asked of her. But her heart had never been his. She'd followed his orders, but she'd never believed in them. In the First Order. In _him_.

But she'd been obedient.

Until Vex had begun to fracture under the pressure.

Snoke knew now that forcing her to have a child was what had broken her. His impatience. Ever since he'd killed the first baby, there'd been a wildness in Vex's eye. The point of no return.

He'd pushed her too hard and Vex had run away. Found a new master. _Skywalker_. Found the _Light_. Snoke didn't know if he'd ever truly have her back on his side.

On the other hand was Kylo Ren. The apprentice he'd seduced away from the Light. Away from the Skywalkers. He blindly Snoke's every command. He was loyal to a fault, but unpredictable. Out of control.

But he'd still turned on Snoke – at the same time as Vex. With each lost child, Ren had turned from him and towards Vex. His prime directive was no longer carrying out Snoke's orders but to protect Vex and their child.

Kylo Ren had failed to kill Han Solo when the opportunity had arose. Vex hadn't failed. Snoke had brought Creel back for her to overcome and she _had_. She'd taken as much as she could before snapping. And destroying a man who'd hurt her.

Kylo Ren hadn't been able to do that.

Snoke glanced across the throne room. With a flicker of his fingers, the curtain surrounding Vex's bacta tank flew back. His child floated peacefully within, the lines of stress on her face beginning to disappear.

It wasn't any sedative that held Vex in unconsciousness, but instead Snoke's power. Which made it ever so easy to wake her.

Her eyes flickered. He knew she was awake. _Your son will be my heir someday…because he will be **yours**._

Without waiting for her response, Snoke plunged her back into the unconsciousness.

* * *

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 **Happy Thanksgiving!**

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1 and SARA!

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 39**

 _34 ABY – The Supremacy_

Kylo Ren had never needed Vex's guidance more desperately than he did now.

The Scavenger – _Rey_ – had appeared to him. Out of nowhere – while med-droids had peeled the bandage from the wound she'd given him. Rey had appeared. Sitting before him, but not truly there.

Some trick of the Force.

One that had left him more confused than ever.

Kylo Ren knew – without a doubt – that he loved Vex. In a different way than he had at the peak of their relationship, certainly – but she was the only love he'd known.

But Rey made him feel something. Something similar but different than what Kylo Ren felt for Vex.

Vex had briefly described something similar in the short time they'd had to talk before reaching the _Supremacy_. She'd loved before, sure, but Vex had described this strange, confusing feeling when she'd met Poe. She hadn't known what to think of him.

Kylo Ren didn't know what to think of Rey, either. He almost felt as if he was being unfaithful to Vex for the very thought of Rey. For the stirrings she'd caused within him. Even though he knew it was over between him and Vex.

But they'd never had the chance to simply sit down and talk it out.

Thus, Kylo's conflict.

He knew if he could talk to Vex she could help him sort out his feelings. He could help her with hers and the could have closure.

Move on. Be happy.

But all of it that was impossible with Snoke hanging around their necks like a millstone. Weighing them down.

Kylo Ren reached out, laying a hand on the cold glass of the Bacta Tank. Inside, Vex was looking well. She'd wake soon.

Snoke had sunk Vex so deep into oblivion that Kylo Ren couldn't even appeal to her unconscious mind. And he'd know if Kylo Ren tried.

"Did you hear, Commander Ren?" a cold voice said.

Kylo Ren turned his gaze towards Hux, his hand slipping back to his side. The ginger-haired general's face was pinched and pale.

He lifted an eyebrow. "What?"

"The Supreme Leader has announced that the Lady Vex will be his heir. His _successor_ ," Hux hissed.

Kylo Ren blinked. " _Really_?"

Hux's already sour expression worsened. "I am to begin preparing her as soon as she wakes. The Supreme Leader has stated his intent for her to learn at his side,"

"It's a wise choice," Kylo Ren mused.

"Are you _mad!?_ " Hux growled. "She betrayed the First Order! Betrayed us all! And yet, the Supreme Leader has chosen to install _her_ as the next Supreme Leader!"

Kylo could barely choke out his next words out without showing his disgust. "Such is the love of a father,"

 _34 ABY – Ahch-To_

A silence had fallen between the two elderly men. "How's Leia?" Luke asked finally, scratching his beard.

Han glared. "Heartbroken. What do you expect, Luke? After losing Ben – and you running away – and _me_ being a terrible husband…" he described, dragging a hand down his haggard face.

Luke sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I thought it was my fault. That I'd failed everyone. So I ran,"

"It wasn't your fault, kid,"

"I know that now. It was Snoke," Luke acknowledged, eyes fierce. "Vex told me, when she first came to me, that Snoke had begun to torment Ben's mind from the time he'd been a child-"

Han started at this, face creasing with shock and pain. Luke reached out, putting his hand on the other man's shoulder. "It's no surprise now that Ben turned. None of us knew something was wrong," Luke continued.

"Surely you would have sensed it," Han said, rubbing roughly at his face.

Luke shook his head. "I've pondered this long and hard, Han. I didn't sense it because Snoke had existed there as long as I'd known Ben. There was nothing there that hadn't always been,"

A long silence followed. Han covered his face – perhaps to mask tears. "My son… was ordered to _kill_ me. But he couldn't," he said at last.

" _Really?_ " Luke said in surprise.

"He said that all he was doing was to protect his family. Vex and Anakin. Leia and I believe there's still light in him,"

"Vex changed him. Being a father changed him." Luke said in wonder. "Without Snoke for him to fear… We could bring him back to the light. He could be with his son,"

"Will you help us, Luke?" Han questioned, eyes glistening. "Your family – the galaxy – needs you,"

"I'm coming. I just don't think I can come _with_ you," Luke said.

"What?" Han questioned in bewilderment. "What the hell are you talking about, kid?!"

"It's Vex," he began, only to hear Han scoff.

"Tell me, Luke. What the hell is it about this girl that finally got your ass moving after fifteen years when your _family_ didn't?" Han questioned.

Luke sighed, letting his hand fall back to his side. "She showed up here, Han. Scared. Pregnant. Refused to leave when I asked her… And then I saw the pain she'd been through, pain she was still in. I was the only one who could help her, Han. I was powerless against her… And after time, I began to see her as a daughter… and Anakin-"

"As _your_ grandson?" Han said. "How _lucky_ you are to have met him, Luke. _Me_? Leia had already sent him into hiding before I'd even heard he existed," he said bitterly.

Luke leaned back in his seat. "I understand your pain, Han. But if there is any chance at slaying Snoke… destroying the First Order… Vex is the key,"

 _"In. What. Way?"_ Han questioned.

"She was taken by Snoke as a child. There is no one in the galaxy that knows him better. She's strong and well trained in the Force – and she's turned to the light. She bonded with Ben and placed him on the precipice of light and dark – and gave him the tools to choose." Luke explained. "…but with Anakin in the picture, I suspect he'll chose light,"

"And there are people loyal to Vex in the First Order… with her help, we might just be able to tear them apart from the inside," Luke added.

"I do like the sound of that," Han admitted.

"I thought you might," Luke smiled.

"But Vex was captured by the First Order a week ago…"

"I know," Luke said. "I could feel it. She needs me. Or everything we worked for will be gone,"

"What are you talking about?" Han questioned.

"For a few days, I couldn't sense her at all – and when she was suddenly back…she was full of rage. In all the time I've known Vex, she's never been angry. Just sad. She was about to kill a man. Someone cruel – someone who'd tortured her. I tried to intervene her – tell her to stop – but she shut me out. Her anger and pain had taken over everything…" Luke trailed off, looking lost.

"If I get to her, I can reverse it. Put her back on the path of light. She needs care – to be protected. Vex needs her son, to remind her of why she turned."

Han took a moment to consider his old friend's words "Is she as good as everyone says? Does she deserve all this hullabaloo?" he asked.

"Yes," Luke said fiercely, surprising Han. "She's the same as Ben, Han. Targeted by Snoke as a child…but unlike Ben, she didn't have parents who loved her. Or me, a teacher to guide her. _No_ , she had parents who traded her to Snoke when she _five_ in exchange for his favor,"

He drew in a deep breath. "She lived knowing all along that her only family had betrayed her. Knowing that Snoke was evil, that what he asked of her was wrong. But she was helpless. Pain eventually taught her to simply go along…"

"Until?" Han asked, looking pale.

"Until Snoke demanded an heir. Until he killed three of Vex and Ben's unborn children,"

" _What_?!"

Luke nodded. "The time she became pregnant with Anakin, she knew she had to escape. She built a droid, EV-9, to help her. But in the end, it was Ben who got her out. In what was perhaps his first truly selfless act,"

Han sighed. "And why can't you come with us, Luke? You need that rust bucket?" he asked, gesturing in the rough direction of his X-Wing.

"I have to get close to the _Supremacy_. Wait for the opportune moment to get to Vex – it's coming, I can feel it," Luke explained. "And no offense, Han, but they _really_ hate your ship,"

* * *

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Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1 and SARA!

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 40**

 _34 ABY – Ahch-To_

"All the things you've done… you're a _monster_ ," Rey uttered with a lot less venom than they'd both expected.

Kylo Ren tilted his head to the side. "You don't seem certain of that," he said quietly.

"I'm confused," Rey admitted. He lifted a brow. "I don't understand…"

"What?"

Rey looked to her fingers, playing with them nervously. "On Starkiller, I could feel how frightened you were. For Vex. For your son. You love them," she explained.

"Yes," Kylo Ren confirmed, looking pained.

"Then why do you do such things? Stay with Snoke?"

"I don't have a choice, Rey." Rey had known that on some level. "I have to protect my family first. And as long as Snoke lives – the First Order lives – they're in danger," Kylo explained.

" _Everyone's_ in danger as long as they're around," Rey pointed out.

Kylo Ren didn't respond. "Can you honestly tell me you didn't intend to kill Han that day? Your own father?" she questioned.

"I don't have to answer to you."

Rey's jaw dropped. With those quiet, defensive words, the spell was broken. Sound rushed in all around her.

Kylo Ren was gone.

Rey pressed a shaky hand to her forehead. "People change," she told herself to quell her beating heart.

 _The Supremacy_

When Vex woke, she was finally, _blissfully_ absent of pain. A sigh left her lips as she began to stretch. " _My dear child… open your eyes,_ " a familiar voice called.

Her eyes snapped open to find Snoke's gruesome features floating before her.

 _No._

He was sitting at her bedside, dwarfing her small figure. " _You've woken finally, Vex. Our plans can proceed,_ " Snoke said gently. There was no hint of malice or anger in his face or even his eyes. Just warmth.

 _This must be a trick_.

Vex pushed herself up against the headboard with a groan. Her muscles weres stiff and uncoordinated after so little exercise and movement. "I…I don't understand…" she floundered, unsure of what to call him. Master was out of the question, and Snoke was far too bold.

" _Father_ ," Snoke prompted her. Vex stared at him in wide eyed confusion. In the many years he'd purported himself as her father, he'd never allowed her to call him father.

"Now I _really_ don't understand," Vex admitted.

" _Do you remember what I spoke to you when you were unconscious, daughter?"_ he asked.

She searched her mind, running a hand through still damp locks before shaking her head. Snoke reached out a hand to her – as if to touch Vex's face. She shrank back, pressing her cheek against the headboard. He let his hand fall.

" _I have made a mistake by overlooking you,"_ Snoke said. " _You, daughter, are the one I've groomed and trained since a small child. groomed and trained since a small child. You are the heir I've waited for. I thought it was Kylo for so long…but it is you, Vex. You will succeed me as Supreme Leader,"_ he explained.

A gasp left Vex. "No," she said. "I'll never agree to this! I am not your slave anymore, I will _not_ follow your orders!"

Snoke only smiled at her open defiance, the first real hint of anger bleeding through to his expression. But he quickly schooled his expression. " _You will change your mind, Vex. I know your conflict. Anakin is far away. As is that man Dameron…"_ Vex drew in a deep breath. " _I've already told General Hux to capture the pilot alive, dear child. Then he can lead us to Anakin. I much desire to meet my grandson,"_

She bristled. "I will _not_ bring my son here for you to be cruel to," Vex growled.

" _You misunderstand, child. I desire your happiness. I thought you would be if your son and that man you've chosen were with you._ "

"No," Vex growled. "I would _never_ bring my son _or_ Poe here,"

 _Ahch-To_

"I've been thrown aside," Kylo Ren said, worry etching into his features. "I've failed the Supreme Leader too many times now. He's chosen Vex. _She_ overcame his test. He's pleased, unlike I've ever seen him before. He preens over her like she's truly his child,"

Rey poked at the campfire between them. "Couldn't you escape then? If he's not watching you?" she asked.

He shook his head, seeming to curl in on himself like a child. "There's no way. Hux is watching me. Troopers would see me if I tried," Kylo Ren said. "And I couldn't just leave Vex behind…"

 _Vex, Vex, always Vex._ Rey forced down her irritation, poking at the flames more harshly. "Have you spoken to her? To see where her loyalty lies?" she asked.

"No. She's only just woken. Snoke hasn't left her side," Kylo tilted his head to the side when Rey didn't reply. "What is it, Rey?" he asked.

Rey sighed, unable to help her dark feelings. "Luke said he wouldn't teach me. Because he has to take care of Vex first," she admitted. " _You_ won't abandon her," Rey said, looking ashamed of herself for even voicing it.

Kylo Ren stayed silent. He understood the feeling. Understood her.

Rey seemed to take his silence as criticism. Her expression drooped. "I thought I'd find answers here. I was wrong. I've never felt so alone."

"You're not alone." Kylo Ren said quickly.

She looked up. "Neither are you," she promised.

Rey reached out, patiently waiting for him to reach out in return. Kylo Ren was hesitant, moving to meet her much more slowly – as if it pained him.

The moment their hands touched was like lightning struck. A myriad of images – memories – touched their minds that had them reeling back in shock.

All at once, they'd glimpsed each other's past and future.

Rey had seen it. The moment of Luke's shame. Maddened, standing over Ben as he slept. Lightsaber in hand. "Luke – he!" she gasped.

Ben's face was creased with panic at what she'd seen. Then he sighed, pain in his eyes. "My uncle sought to destroy me for my darkness… but somehow he saw fit to help Vex through hers,"

"He tried to kill you, Ben!"

The door to Rey's hut creaked open, Luke peaking in. "Who are you talking to –" he looks stunned at the sight of their clasped hands. "STOP!" Luke yelled, diving in to pull Rey away.

And just like that, the vision fell to pieces. The warmth of Ben's hand fell away from Rey, as if it had never existed. "No!" she cried.

Rey turned on Luke, jerking out of his hold. "Did you do it, then? Did you create Kylo Ren!?" she cried.

x

A short time later, Luke watched from beneath his cloak as the Millennium Falcon soared away.

Rey had quickly ran off when he'd admitted his mistake. The truth. She'd surely told Han.

Han hadn't come to ask Luke if it was true. He'd just left.

Now Luke was alone again.

* * *

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Big things happening! Next CHAPTER!

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	41. Chapter 41

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 41**

 _34 ABY – The Supremacy_

Ben didn't say a word to her when she'd arrived.

Han hadn't approved of her scheme, but Rey had seen it. It was what she was meant to do. Get to Ben. Turn him. It was perfect, if you thought about it. Rey could teach Ben to be good again, and he could teach her about the Force.

It wasn't till they were inside the elevator – alone – that Ben spoke.

"You came," he said, voice low and warm.

"I knew if I did, you would turn." Ben's dark eyes found hers. There was a hint of surprise there – and perhaps hope. "I saw your – _our_ future. Only the lines, but solid and warm," Rey explained in earnest.

"Ours?" Ben muttered to himself, eyes dropping for a moment. "I saw something, too," he said. "I saw who your parents are," Rey's jaw dropped, preparing to question him. "But I saw that _you'll_ be the one to turn. Fight beside me when the time comes. You will, won't you? Stand beside me?" he questioned uncertainly, as if it was all he wanted in the world.

Before she could answer, the elevators door opened to a room cast in red. A large, monstrous _thing_ sitting in a throne at its center. Snoke. Next to him was a smaller, slighter throne occupied by a young woman Rey had only heard of.

The Reaper. Vex Valorum. The woman who'd defected from the First Order and joined the Rebels.

But yet here she was. Sitting at Snoke's side as if she'd never left. On a _throne_. For a brief moment, Rey wondered if it'd all been a ruse for Vex. In the Rebellion. But then she'd truly looked at the woman.

Her lovely face was marred by an ugly, _new_ scar not unlike the one she'd given Ben. The tautness of her body, as if it _hurt_ , as if she was _scared_. Her fingers white as she clenched the arms of her throne.

No, Vex didn't want to be there anymore than Rey did.

The other woman's eyes were glazed over with pain, slow to track the newcomers of the room.

 _"My apprentice, well done,"_ Snoke cooed as Ben led Rey into the red room. He fell to his knees behind her, eyes carefully trained on the floor. Snoke's eyes turned to Rey. " _So this is the Scavenger…"_

 **x**

It'd all happened so fast. One moment, Vex had been enduring Snoke's presence so close. The clear hooks of his mind were buried inside of her own, monitoring her every thought.

She wasn't entirely aware of what was happening.

Kylo had entered, with a woman. The Scavenger – _Rey_ , she thought. Snoke's voice had boomed out in anger – but Vex couldn't think much beyond her exhaustion, beyond her bone-deep ache.

And then, suddenly, a lightsaber ignited beside Vex. A blue one.

Not hers. Not Kylo's. Not her… _father's_.

And then his torso slide to the floor, entirely independent of his lower half.

 _Snoke…dead_?

His Praetorian Guard was advancing on the others – one standing in front of Vex, his designated successor. As if to protect her from whomever had killed him.

Vex stared dumbly at his bisected body. "Father?" she whispered, as if she expected him to simply spring back to life.

She was oblivious to the chaos around her – Kylo's shouts. The girl's cries. The sizzle of lightsabers meeting the guard's weapons. All she could see is that Snoke was dead.

She rose quickly from her seat, wincing for a moment, before diving towards his throne. All with a silent guard standing ready in front of her. Her fingers scrabbled at the small compartment in the arm that she _knew_ held her lightsaber.

Her wild movements knocked Snoke's lower half from the floor, clattering to the floor. Vex froze for a moment, until she heard the compartment click open. She looked back, pulling it open. She snatched her lightsaber before clapping the compartment shut.

Vex turned back to see the throne room in shambles – burning – littered with corpses. Kylo slayed the last guard before turning towards Vex – towards the guard who stood in front of her.

Without thinking, she swung her lightsaber up, igniting it the moment the angle was right. The blade pierced the guard's chest – he stilled, and fell. Vex extinguished her saber, lowering it to her side.

"Kylo," she called, voice shaking, hand outstretched.

Without hesitation, he crossed to her side and took her hand. Immediately she felt steadier, leeching strength from the warmth of Kylo's hand. "He's dead," Vex said in shock.

"We're free," Kylo said.

"Anakin-"

"You have to stop them!" Rey's voice interrupted. Kylo and Vex looked towards her.

"Stop what?" Vex questioned.

"They're shooting down the Rebel transports! There's only a few left!" the girl said urgently.

Vex gasped, heart going cold.

 _Poe_.

She crossed back to Snoke's throne and snatched the commlink from its place. "On orders of the Supreme Leader, _immediately_ cease fire on the Rebels! TIE fighters, return to the ship _now_!" Vex ordered, voice echoing over their heads.

As to be expected, General Hux's questioning voice followed. " _Lady Vex, why does the Supreme Leader not give the order himself?_ " he drawled.

Vex hesitated, eyes finding Kylo. He nodded, lips thinning. "The Supreme Leader is dead. This is _my_ order," Vex answered.

After a moment of silence, the comm crackled to life. " _Long live the Supreme Leader,_ " Captain Phasma announced. Hux and the other commanders slowly echoed her.

Vex dragged in a deep breath, pain starting to thrum in her head. "If _anyone_ fires at the Rebels, you will be eliminated. Await my orders before doing _anything_ ," she directed, turning to Kylo and Rey.

"You two must go," Vex said. "Take Snoke's personal ship. Get to the Rebels. Help them,"

"I'm not leaving you," Kylo said grimly, his grip on her hand tightening.

Vex smiled weakly. "It's your turn, Kylo-"

" _Ben_ ," the girl corrected.

Vex's eyes flashed between the two, focusing on Kylo with a questioning gaze. He nodded after a moment. And in that moment she understood. The girl was _Ben's_ future.

" _Ben_ , it's your turn to escape. Get to Poe, find our son," Vex told him, squeezing his hand.

"You don't have to do this, Vex. Come with us," Rey said, approaching the two.

"I'm the Supreme Leader," Vex said with a halfhearted smile. "Someone has to do this. Bring peace. It has to be me. You know that,"

Kylo – _Ben_ – only looks at her. "Go!" she barked. He doesn't move, oblivious to Rey pulling on his arm.

Vex sighed. "Do it for me, then. For Ani. I need to know you two are together," she pleaded. Finally, Ben nodded, grip loosening on her hand. "Ready the ship. I need to talk to Rey for a moment,"

Ben looked between the two women nervously for a moment before heading off, face set in determination. "What is it?" Rey questioned, taking Vex's arm.

Vex wants to flinch back from the gentle touch, but she forced the urge down. There was nothing but kindness and concern in the girl's eyes.

But that didn't stop Vex from wanting to draw away.

"He needs you. _You_ have to teach him to be light again. Like Poe did for me," Vex said, voice strangled.

"I will," Rey promised, looking proud.

"For even the littlest things. The _good_ choices never even occurred to me as options, until Poe said something,"

"I'll take care of Ben, Vex. But will _you_ be okay?"

She didn't know how to answer that question. Vex swallowed hard, looking away. "Go, Rey. Tell Leia this will all be over soon,"

* * *

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WHAT DID YOU THINK?

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 42**

 _34 ABY – The Supremacy_

As soon as Rey left her sight, the ship had rocked – _hard_ – flinging Vex to the other side of the room. "Report!" she yelled into the commlink, wincing as she got back to her feet. Something in her side had broken. She'd felt the crack, felt the burning, sharp throbbing follow.

" _The Rebels used the empty cruiser to drive through us_!" Hux's panicked voice came over the comm. _"We've taken critical damage!_ "

Vex started towards the elevator doors, hand pressed to her side. "What about the Vexation?" she questioned.

 _"In tact,"_

A plan was coming together in Vex's mind. "Killtroopers," she said into the link.

" _Unit Commander Alpha CN-2948 answering."_

"Unit Alpha, to me en route to the hangar. Unit Beta, ready the Vexation. Unit Coda, escort all High Command officers to the Vexation's conference room. Unit Delta, escort all medical staff and essential officers to the ship. Unit Echo, gather the other Killtroopers and coordinate an evacuation of as many as we can,"

 _Crait_

Only a few moments after Finn and Rose's tiny craft slid beneath the Rebellion stronghold's hull was another ship sighted. A small one. But expensive. Coming straight for them.

"That's Snoke's personal ship," Finn uttered in a fearful, reverent whisper. Poe's head snapped in his direction before he fixed his blaster in the ship's direction, a steely look on his tired features.

"Snoke would never come down here himself," Leia said, moving up to stand beside Poe. Her own expression was as hard as the man beside her.

The small craft did not try to slide under the hill, instead landing just outside it. The last remaining Rebels – perhaps forty in all – readied their weapons in wariness.

The ship's hatch opened. A young woman emerged first. _Rey_. Finn drew in a loud, rattled breath. It was only Rose's grip on his arm that stalled him from running to her. His first friend.

Then another emerged behind her. A man. Clad all in black, looking uncertain and perhaps even afraid. _Kylo Ren_.

Leia gasped at the sight of her son. Rey held her hand out to him, and after a moment of hesitation, he took it. Then Rey started towards them, dragging him towards them as if leading a child.

Poe bristled beside Leia, never lowering his blaster. The others didn't, either. But Kylo Ren did nothing. There were no weapons in his hands – not that he needed any. He followed Rey quietly, with frightened eyes.

Leia stepped forward as the two closed in. Her son found her eyes, and she was surprised to see tears in them. "Ben," she gasped.

"Mother," he echoed, sinking to his knees before her. Leia reached out, fingers hesitant to touch her son's cheek. "I'm sorry,"

Without a word, Leia drew him to her, arms wrapping around her son. Ben clung to his mother, fingers tight on her dress.

"Not that this isn't a touching moment," Poe spat, loath to lower his blaster. "But where the hell is _Vex_?!"

 _Near Crait_

An old, rusty X-Wing appeared out of lightspeed amidst the Supremacy, broken in half. Burning. Just in time to see a cruiser – the _Vexation_ – emerge from a burning hangar.

A small shuttle left the cruiser, heading for Crait. Then the cruiser disappeared, jumping to lightspeed.

The X-Wing idled for a moment, as if in indecision. A familiar Corellian freighter – the Millennium Falcon – streaked across the horizon, heading straight for Crait.

Then, finally, the X-Wing began its own descent to the salt planet.

 _Crait_

Everyone was here. Rey. _Ben_ , formerly known as Kylo Ren. Han Solo. Chewbacca. Even Luke Skywalker, crawled out from his hole finally. But not Vex.

Vex had stayed behind. Because _someone_ had to command the First Order. _Someone_ had to be the Supreme Leader. And, _of course_ , it would be Vex. Who else would knew the First Order so well, and would not be tempted to darkness?

Poe resented it all. Of course it was Vex who would be made to suffer. Of course it was _her_ , who had to bring this all to an end.

And then _Ben,_ after _all_ he'd done, had the _nerve_ to ask him to take him to his son. Tell him it was what Vex wished.

That was before the shuttle had landed. Before three Killtroopers – complete with the black armor and Vex's insignia on their right shoulder – emerged from the shuttle. With no helmets. Just three identical faces.

They did not carry blasters in their hands or on their belts. They were unarmed. They came towards the Rebel stronghold with empty hands, all except for a datapad.

"We carry a message from the Supreme Leader! Lady Vex Valorum has sent us to your side – to your aide!"

It was Ben, with his father behind him that greeted the three Killtroopers. He who accepted the datapad and brought it to his mother, leaving the Killtroopers outside. "A video," Ben told them.

Poe crowded close to Leia, overwhelmed with the urge to see Vex's face. Hear her voice.

And he was wholly unprepared for it once it came. When her face came to the screen, he was struck breathless. His Vex, but not. She was pale and tired-looking, with a new, horrible scar crossing her face. Poe took in a swift breath.

Leia took his hand, eyes not straying from the screen. " _Leia. Snoke is dead. I've taken command. They've accepted me…I was supposed to be **his** successor, anyway. I've taken the Vexation. The High Command. My Killtroopers control the ship, they obey only me._"

Vex took a deep breath, wincing for a moment. Poe's jaw clenched. _"It will take me a few days to sort things out. I must ensure the High Command stays loyal, that they will accept the change to come. I will return, then. You and I, we'll figure out what to do, then. How to restore the Republic. How to end the First Order."_

She paused, looking beyond the camera. _"The men I sent to you are loyal beyond reproach. SN-1347, CC-1431 and CN-1987 grew up alongside me, they were my first Killtroopers. They've brought supplies and provisions to last you awhile…They will aide you anyway they can,"_ Vex sighed, rubbing at her brow. _"I don't have much time,"_ she raised her eyes back to the camera.

 _"The rest of this message is for Poe."_ Vex announced. Leia paused the video, eyes grave. She passed the datapad to Poe.

"Take your time, Poe," Leia said gently. "Han, Finn – help Vex's friends bring the supplies in."

Poe took the datapad, avoiding the many gazes of the other Rebels as he searched for a private nook. It took a few minutes, but finally he settled on a crate in an unoccupied corner. "Vex," he breathed, tracing the image of her face before restarting the video.

 _"Poe,_ "

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1 and Han S!

Transition time...

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	43. Chapter 43

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 43**

 _34 ABY – Crait_

 _"I love you, Poe. We'll be together soon,"_ Vex promised before the video faded to blackness.

Poe took a deep, shaky breath. "I love you, too," he whispered in return. He took a moment to breath deeply, dragging a hand down his face. Then he stood, making his way back to the others. He handed the datapad back to Leia without a word and turned to Ben. "Let's go." Poe said.

"Where?" Leia questioned, oblivious to her son's surprise.

"You'll take me?" Ben said, eyes wide.

"It's what Vex wants." Poe said gruffly. "She wants to see Anakin when she returns. We'll have to leave now if we're going to get there and get back in time,"

"And just like that, you'll do what she says? You refused when _I_ asked," Ben questioned.

"I don't trust you. But Vex does. And I trust her judgment," Poe retorted, limbs stiff and tense. He didn't want to do this. But Vex wouldn't ask this lightly. She believed that it was safe. That _he_ was safe.

"You're going to get Anakin?" Leia interjected, eyes gleaming. The two men looked over to her.

"We can take the Falcon." Han said. "I want to meet my grandson,"

"Not half as much as I want to meet my son," Ben growled, seeming to be growing testy. Rey saw this from over Poe's shoulder, scurrying over to his side. The others watched as she took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

Ben closed his eyes – and with a deep breath, the stress left his face. "I'm coming, too," Rey announced, firmly, as if there was no room for argument. When Ben's eyes opened again, he looked relieved. Han and Leia traded a look.

"Rey," Finn uttered quietly, brows drawn low in confusion. She flashed him a quick glance, as if to say she'd explain later.

It was less than ten minutes before the strange crew had headed for the Millennium Falcon. Ben held onto Rey's hand tightly, his expression troubled as he entered his father's ship for the first time in thirteen long years.

Poe followed Han and Chewbacca to the cockpit, sliding into the chair behind the Wookie. "Where we setting course for, Dameron?" Han asked, glancing back to him.

"Yavin 4,"

 _The Vexation_

It was quiet now. After hours and hours of yelling and talking – and yes, even crying, it was finally quiet. Most of the High Command had fallen in line. A choice few would spend their time in the brig until they changed their minds. Or until the First Order was finally gone. For good.

Hux had, of course, buckled. He'd immediately sided with her. But Vex knew better than to trust him. He'd side with anyone he deemed the victor. He'd been thrust into this life just like Vex had, but he'd never seemed to develop the moral backbone that Vex had.

While Hux could be of use to her now, she knew that he'd make a power grab if she ever left herself vulnerable.

But, at this moment, Vex was more powerful than she'd ever been. Hundreds, if not thousands of lives depended on her – not even taking into consideration the populations they controlled.

Right now, she trusted no one. Not even the doctors. So it was a med-droid she allowed to treat her now, in her quiet quarters after the initial madness had died away.

Two of her ribs had been broken when she'd been flung across the throne room during the collision. Other than that, she seemed to be as fit as she could possibly expect. The med-droid had picked up in the lingering ache of her muscles after the procedure Creel had forced her through.

There was nothing that could be done for it. Only time would take away that pain.

Vex closed her eyes as the droid began to wrap a bandage around her ribs, trying to relax. She had only one matter to attend to before she could finally rest.

A low buzz announced the intercom. It could only be her guard from the other side of her door. " _Captain Phasma is here to see you, Lady Vex_ ," RS-2836 called. With a wave of her hand, the door connecting her antechamber and bedroom slid open.

"Come in, Phasma," Vex said, glancing back to the Chrome warrior as she entered. Her armor was still seared and dirty, the hole over her eye visible.

"What can I do for you, Supreme Leader?" Phasma questioned, kneeling at the room's entrance.

"Get up," Vex said irritably. "And take that stupid helmet off. I want to see your face," she ordered.

The woman got to her feet slowly and then followed the second order with obvious reluctance. She held her helmet in one hand, her pale eyes boring into Vex's back.

Vex drew in a breath, pushing the med-droid away and slowly, carefully pulling a shirt on. Then she turned to face Phasma. "You were loyal to my father to the very end. Tell me, did you truly believe in his vision?" Vex questioned.

Phasma looked uncertain. Her eyes flashed towards the floor, biting her lip as if wondering how to answer. Wondering what answer would please her.

Vex sighed. She patted the bed before her, beckoning the woman towards her. Phasma approached, uncomfortably, and perched on the very edge. "I crave your honesty, Phasma. I swear there will be no consequence," she promised.

Phasma drew in a deep breath. "I did not believe in Snoke's vision, no,"

Vex smiled. "Then what would you say if I told you I wanted to burn it all down? Everything my father built? The whole First Order," she asked, watching the other woman carefully.

Surprise flashed through Phasma's expression. It took her a long moment to find the right words. "I'd say, let _me_ light the fucking match," she said fiercely.

Vex gave a startled laugh, immediately wincing when her injured ribs gave a sharp twinge. The fierceness of Phasma's expression calmed, a blonde lock falling into her eyes. She pushed it back from her face with a gloved hand.

"You've never been unkind to me, Phasma. In all these years. You and I, alone amongst all these men," Vex said, chuckling with a hint of bitterness. "And I think I could trust you. As we remake the galaxy. Bring peace and prosperity,"

"I would be honored to stand by your side," Phasma said, her severe features set with a deep sincerity.

Vex took a breath before getting to her feet. That uncertain look was back on Phasma's face, unsure if she should stay sitting on the bed, or stand too. She looked incredibly awkward in that chrome armor, folded into her seat on Vex's bed.

" _If_ I am to trust you – anymore than I do these others – like _Hux -_ " they traded a mutual look of disgust. "If I trust you, if you stand at my side, your purpose is to protect. Protect the weak and defenseless. The women and children," Vex explained.

"I understand-"

"-You wouldn't be a soldier anymore. You'd be a hero. A protector. There will be no more conquering," Vex interrupted. She paused for a moment, gesturing towards Phasma. "That means no more armor. No more masks. You are a person. _They_ are all people. With free will. Not faceless soldiers. Can you agree to that?" she questioned.

Phasma slowly got to her feet. "Yes," she began, a steely look in her eye. "I can. I agree."

Vex exhaled slowly, her shoulders slumping with relief. "Then you will be the Stormtroopers' commander. And for a time, my Killtrooper CN-2948 will share the post with you," Vex directed.

"Until you're certain you can trust me." Phasma decided, her lips thinning to a line.

"Yes," Vex answered honestly. "I cannot truly trust anyone right now, Phasma. You must see that,"

"But you trust them. Your Killtroopers,"

Vex sighed, nodding in answer. "I trained them, Phasma. They were encoded since birth to follow my direction. I have been inside their minds, I know this is still intact." she explained, rubbing a hand to her throbbing ribs.

The other woman's eyes followed the movement. "I should leave you to rest," Phasma said, thankfully changing the topic.

"Thank you," Vex said, sinking back to sit on the bed again. She ran her hands through tangled, damp hair, fingers massaging her scalp.

Phasma headed for the door, helmet still in hand. She paused at the open doorway. "Just so you know, Lady Vex," she began, a bit hesitantly. Vex looked up, dropping her hands to her lap. "You have a way about you. Inspiring loyalty in those capable of it," Phasma said, making sure her eyes met Vex's. " _That_ is why you should trust me."

 _Crait_

"You've come at last," Leia said drolly, dropping into a seat opposite her brother. "For Vex."

Luke sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. "I'm sorry, Leia. I know that's not enough, for all the times I've failed you. Failed our family."

"Then why? Why, Luke? You abandoned me – _us_ – for years. You sent that girl to me instead of coming yourself. You know she endured _unspeakable_ pain because of it," she growled.

"That was _Vex's_ decision, not mine! I wanted her to stay! She would have been safe, _Anakin_ would have been safe!"

"But the rest of the galaxy could burn, right?" Leia retorted, slamming a hand down on the table. Luke jumped, eyes going wide. "Only your little planet mattered. Only you and the _new_ family you'd made with Vex and _my_ grandson,"

Luke sighed again, reaching out to cover his sister's hand with one of his own. Her hand tensed beneath his, but she allowed it. "I wanted to die, Leia," he said, barely above a whisper. Surprise crossed her features. "What happened with Ben… all my students…I'd failed _everyone_. You most of all. So I went away. I found Ahch-To. I wanted to die, but I could not bring myself to do it. I thought I deserved to die slowly, then. Of loneliness, depression, starvation, dehydration… But I didn't.

Years went by, and I began to feel like something was coming. At first, I thought it was the First Order. I thought they'd find me and kill me. But they never came. Instead, it was Vex."

"Oh, Luke…" Leia murmured, her hand turning over to hold his.

"She was so young, Leia. She was scared and at war with her very mind, with her soul. Pregnant. Terrified to lose another child. And she needed me." Luke exhaled deeply, eyes beginning to glitter with tears. "I'd forgotten what it was to be needed, Leia. I'd lived so many years in nothingness. Apart from everything and everyone. She was in so much pain and wanted nothing more than to be good. I didn't have it in me to refuse her."

"You couldn't." Leia echoed, eyes beginning to tear up in answer to her brother's. "I never found myself able to,"

"I felt it when she was captured. I felt her disappear from the Force, and for a time, I feared the worst," Luke continued. "Days later, I felt her return. I still don't know how she was hidden away, but it was by force, Leia. And when she'd returned, I went to her. Her mind, at least. It was on _fire_ , Leia," he told her in an urgent whisper.

"What do you mean?" she questioned, leaning closer. Her brows drew down in questioning, an expression of concern appearing on his twin's features.

Luke took in a shuddering breath. "She was on the verge of killing a man. A man who'd tortured and raped her,"

Leia reared back, a shaking hand pressing to her mouth. The first tear fell, tracking down her cheek. "Tell me it isn't true." She uttered lowly. Luke shook his head. "Then he _deserved_ it," Leia hissed.

Luke gave a hasty nod. "But that isn't what I taught her. In that moment, all Vex felt was pain and _rage_. She couldn't see sense. I told her to stop and she couldn't. _Wouldn't_ , Leia. She killed him."

"I would have done the same thing." Leia murmured.

"But now she has command of the whole First Order, Leia," Luke pointed out urgently.

"Are you saying we should be worried?" Leia questioned in disbelief. "It's Vex, Luke. She doesn't want power. She's not evil,"

"No, she's not. But there's only so much pain one can take before they snap,"

* * *

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Thanks to my reviewers last chapter - Mstngsali1 and neatfreak16!

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Glitter and Gold**

 **Chapter 44**

 _34 ABY – Yavin 4_

When Kes Dameron opened his door early that morning, he surely hadn't expected five people to be on his doorstep. Not even with his son amongst them. With Han Solo, Chewbacca and two people he didn't know.

"Is it time? Are you here for Ani?" Kes questioned. Poe nodded, face drawn and tight. "Come in then, come on in!" he called, stepping out of the way to allow the group entry.

"Guys, this is my father, Kes. He's been sheltering Anakin and Ayla'Lyn." Poe introduced. "Dad, you know Han and Chewbacca. That's Ben, Anakin's father."

Kes nodded genially to them all, eyes focusing on Rey. "That must mean you're Vex. I've heard much about you," he greeted, offering her his hand.

" _Dad_ ," Poe said in chagrin. "That's not Vex,"

"I'm Rey. Ben's friend," the young woman said, expression pained.

Kes turned back to his son. "Where's Vex?" he questioned, brows drawing down in concern.

"It's a long story, Dad. I'll explain later," Poe grumbled.

"Where is my son?" Ben questioned, his patience beginning to fade.

"Upstairs," Kes said in surprise. "Ayla'Lyn just took him up to get dressed,"

Poe started towards the stairs. All five people started after him. He paused. "Only Ben should come up," he said, glancing at the man a step behind him.

"Why?" Han questioned.

"Because Ani's _two_. Too many people all at once will just overwhelm him," Poe explained.

The nervousness returned to Ben's features. He turned to Rey. She smiled reassuringly. "Ben, you love him and you're going to take care of him. That's all that matters," she promised.

"She's right," Han told his son, nodding encouragingly. Chewbacca growled in agreement.

Ben turned back to Poe, looking somewhat appeased. "Vex trusts you. She wants you to be with Anakin." Poe told him, even if the words burned on the way up his throat.

Ben nodded in response, expression steeling. The two men continued up the stairs. The door to Anakin's room was ajar. They could hear Anakin's little voice as he chattered on to Ayla'Lyn. The two men appeared in the doorway, startling the Twi'lek woman.

She turned the little boy bodily to face them. Ben greedily took in the visage of his son. Short, messy black curls, like his. His own brown eyes warmly reflected in his son. Vex's features – sharp cheekbones and a softly sloping nose, along with her tanned complexion.

Poe approached, crouching down in front of the little boy. "I'm Poe, your mama's friend. Do you remember me, Ani?" he asked gently.

Anakin nodded hesitantly. "Mama here?" he asked hopefully.

Poe's jaw worked. He glanced back to Ben. He was frozen in place, eyes never leaving his son. "No. But we're going to bring you to her, would you like that?" Poe told the little boy instead.

Anakin nodded wildly, tottering over to Poe and resting a chubby hand on his knee. "Do you remember the stories Mama told you about your Dad?" he asked. There was a shift in movement behind him. Poe could feel Ben's gaze burning into his back. "A Jedi Knight, just like Mama, remember?"

Anakin nodded again. "Dada," he echoed quietly, little brows furrowed in thought.

Poe nodded. "That's your Dada, Ani," he said, pointing back to Ben. "He was gone for a long time, but he's here now. He's going to help Mama take care of you," Poe explained. Ben and Anakin stared at each other for a long time before Ben took a slow step into the room.

That seemed to be all the prompting Anakin needed. The two-year-old tottered over to his father, arms raised as if asking to be picked up. Ben hesitated for a long moment before reaching down and picking up the toddler beneath the arms. It was another long considering moment before he brought Anakin close, allowing his son to wrap his arms around his neck and legs around his middle.

Ben felt the tears beginning to build in the back of his eyes. He turned and buried his face in Anakin's soft, shaggy hair and held him close.

In the midst of this touching moment, Poe got back to his feet. Ayla'Lyn came to his side, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Where's Vex?" she questioned.

"Snoke is dead." Poe told her. "Vex took his place. She's the Supreme Leader," he said bitterly.

" _What_?"

"It wasn't like that," Ben said gruffly, turning to look at them. "He'd named her his heir. We knew she'd be accepted. That she could end it all. Destroy the whole First Order," he tried to explain.

Poe turned away, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Ayla'Lyn squeezed his shoulder. "I know it's not right," Ben continued softly. "But it's what Vex decided. I trust her judgment."

"I don't question that," Poe said lowly. "It's that she has to do it alone,"

Ben sighed. "That was her decision, too. I told her I'd stay. That I wouldn't leave her. She insisted. I do what she says, just like you do, Dameron,"

"I'm not trying to place blame. I'm just…worried sick about her," Poe muttered.

"She's the strongest person I know-"

"I don't want her to have to be strong! I want her to be safe!" Poe snapped.

Anakin flinched in his father's arms at the other man's tone. Ben pulled him closer, smoothing a comforting hand down the boy's back. "You'll watch your tone around my son," he warned, lifting angry eyes to meet Poe's.

Without another word, without another glance, Ben turned and left the room, his footsteps on the stairs signaling his descent. Ayla'Lyn patted Poe's shoulder reassuringly before following after her charge.

Unable to help his own pettiness, Poe dragged a hand across his face. " _Vex's_ son," he muttered to himself.

 _The Vexation_

When Phasma arrived at the strategy meeting the next morning, she'd expected the Supreme Leader to be there. _Vex_. But her place of honor at the table was empty.

The room was full of simpering and ass-kissing command officers just like General Hux. Unmasked Killtroopers with identical faces lined the walls of the conference room, adding to the room's nervous energy.

A not so subtle display of power, she thought. "Where is the Supreme Leader?" Phasma questioned.

"She has not arrived yet," Hux said with a frown.

A hush fell over the room before her. Phasma turned to see one of the Killtroopers had entered. His black Killtrooper armor had been replaced with slate grey version of the command officers' black uniform.

He was of the same Prime clone as the other Killtroopers. He looked to be around forty, but with the way clones aged, it was difficult to be sure.

"Who are _you_?" Hux asked.

"I am CN-2948 and I have been authorized to act as the Supreme Leader's proxy as her second-in-command," he stated, expression stern.

She knew that name. Vex had mentioned it to her just the night before. The man Phasma was supposed to share her command with. "Where is she?" Phasma questioned.

"The Supreme Leader is none of your concern," CN-2948 said curtly without looking at her.

 _The Millennium Falcon_

Ben Solo couldn't take his eyes off his son. Anakin. A beautiful dark-haired smiling boy of two that lay sleeping in the Falcon's bunk. A boy who smiled up at him with such unguarded love despite knowing him all of six hours.

Ben sat on the edge of said bunk, unable to stray any farther from his son. He reached over to tuck a curl behind Anakin's ear, his fingers hesitating in the air for but a moment before he completed the motion.

"How does it feel to be a father?" Han asked behind him.

"I've been a father for two years." Ben said quietly.

"You're right," Han acknowledged softly. "But this is the first time you've seen Anakin. Been able to be a father to him. So tell me, how does it feel?" he questioned.

Ben sighed, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from his son. "Good. But you already knew that," he answered curtly.

Han nodded, expression patient. Far more patient than he usually was. "I saw the look on your face when you brought him down the stairs. It was a look I haven't seen on your face since you were a kid," he said.

Interest piqued, Ben turned. "What look?" he asked.

Han met his eyes. "Peace." The considering expression on Ben's face faded, lips thinning to a frown. He turned away, back to his son. "What?" Han questioned.

"I can't be at peace." Ben said quietly.

"Why not?" Han questioned, patience beginning to leave him. "You deserve it."

"Not without Vex,"

Han took a breath, dragging a hand down his face. "She's safe, isn't she? She's the Supreme Leader – who would cross her?" he asked.

"It's a viper nest," Ben muttered. "Unless she's ruthless, they'll turn on her,"

"But she's a Jedi. They couldn't hurt her,"

"We're not invincible, Han. We can tire and be caught off guard just like everyone else." Ben said in a tired tone.

"You think that'll happen to her?"

"I don't know," he admitted.

Han leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What is she to you, Ben? I mean, I know you two were involved at some point, and you created this beautiful boy together," he began in a questioning tone. "But I've heard she's with Poe now. And you and Rey -"

Ben's eyes found his, silencing him abruptly. "Vex is my best friend. My partner. I love her," he admitted quietly.

"But she's moved on with Poe," Han pointed out.

"He makes her happy. Helps her be light. And I'm ready to move on, too," Ben offered as if that were all the explanation he needed. His eyes cut past Han, towards the cockpit where Rey perched with Poe and Chewie.

"Vex told Rey that she was your future," Han said quietly. A thoughtfulness returned to Ben's features.

"Maybe,"

 _The Vexation_

Something had changed since yesterday.

Yesterday, there had been three Killtroopers stationed outside Vex's quarters. Today, there were six. All looking grim.

"I'd like to see Lady Vex," Phasma requested, eyeing them curiously.

"The Supreme Leader is indisposed. She wishes for no visitors," the unit's commander told her.

A shot of uncertainty went through her. Something told Phasma she needed to see her. Worry, perhaps. It was an unfamiliar feeling for her – she hadn't worried for anyone in years. "You're not women." Phasma said with a sigh. "When a woman says no visitors, she wants them."

The Killtroopers appeared unconvinced. "Not Vex. She says what she means," the commander told her.

 _True_ , Phasma acknowledged. "Will you just ask her if she'll see me?" she requested.

The man sighed, glancing at the others before pressing his commlink. "Lady Vex, Captain Phasma has requested an audience with you."

"Thank you."

He tilted his head after a moment when a response came. "Lady Vex does not wish to be disturbed." he informed Phasma, not looking entirely pleased.

"Tell her I wish to ascertain if she's well. I expected to see her this morning,"

The Killtrooper sighed again, relaying the message. The answer came just a moment later. "You may enter," he said, stepping aside. One of the others opened the door.

"Thank you," Phasma said uncertainly, stepping through. There were three Killtroopers guarding the antechamber and open doorway.

"This door stays open," one of them warned her.

"Alright?" she acknowledged in a questioning tone, stepping through the doorway.

At first glance, the room was empty. Chaotic. Sheets ripped from the bed, clothes thrown around the room, a chest cleaved in half. But then she saw the unmistakable head of burgundy hair, just peeking out from the other side of the bed.

Phasma rounded the bed and found her lady sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. Vex's eyes were unfocused, staring out in the distance. Her arms lay limply at her sides, wrapped in white gauze. Phasma could see blood staining the white fabric where multiple cuts had bled through.

"Phasma," her voice was weak and tinny. "I didn't want you to see me like this," Vex said, delicate fingers brushing a cut on her brow.

" _What_ happened?" Phasma questioned incredulously. "Who did this?" she bent down, taking Vex's arm gently.

Vex didn't answer. She shifted her gaze back to the floor, gnawing on her lip. After a moment, she winced, remembering the cut that split her lip.

The conclusion struck Phasma like a physical blow. She dropped Vex's arm, reeling back in shock. " _You_ did this. _Why?_ "

She tensed. "You couldn't understand,"

Phasma sank awkwardly to sit beside her, leaving plenty of space between the two. "Try me. You said you wanted to trust me,"

Vex flashed her a furtive glance, scratching at her bandages before Phasma carefully batted her hand away.

"I swear upon my own life that you can trust me. My word is my bond, I do not break it,"

"I know," Vex murmured. "You want my confidence. Shall you give me yours?"

"If that is your wish."

Vex exhaled slowly. "I had a nightmare. I was screaming, apparently. My Killtroopers came in, they tried to wake me,"

"And it didn't go well." Phasma interjected.

"No," she uttered. "I thought I was still in the dream. That I was being attacked. I attacked them – they had to restrain me," she fluttered a hand towards her face, towards the small smattering of wounds on her face. "Luckily, none of them were seriously harmed. But there was quite a mess, as you can see,"

"And your arms?"

Vex looked down, fingers tracing lightly over the bandages. "This isn't my body," she whispered.

" _What_?" Phasma questioned.

"He took away everything that made it mine." Vex said in a small but fierce tone, staring at her lap.

"Creel." she concluded, voice cracking. "He raped you." Vex nodded, not lifting her gaze from her lap. "What else did he take from you?" she asked, anger burning through.

"My skin," Vex murmured.

"Skin?" Phasma questioned, blood draining from her face.

"He made the doctors perform a procedure on me to remove my scars," she began, crossing her arms carefully over her chest. "I had many. But they were mine. Part of me."

"I can imagine."

"The procedure required skinning me. Then grafting new skin in its place. Perfect skin. Without scar or blemish."

A long silence followed, neither knowing what to say. Phasma tugged off a glove, tentatively reaching out a hand and resting it on Vex's shoulder. She could feel the younger woman flinch under her hand, but she didn't draw away.

"This didn't feel like my body anymore," Vex said finally.

"So you tried to make it yours again,"

Vex nodded. "My men interceded. Treated me. Now they won't leave me alone," she whispered, glancing back towards the open doorway.

"So you won't harm yourself again," Vex nodded again. "You need help, Vex. Who could help you?" Phasma asked.

Vex looked back to her lap, playing with her fingers. "Poe. I need Poe." she whispered.

"I'll make for the control room, have them set course for Crait. We can be there by this time tomorrow," Phasma said, rising to her feet.

Vex didn't move. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Then I'll be back. I'm not leaving you alone."

"I'm not alone." Vex said, gesturing with her chin back to her guardians in the antechamber.

Phasma shrugged. "Women are stronger together."

* * *

 **Review, Please.**

Thanks to my reviewer last chapter - Mstngsali1!

Right now, I'm thinking we will end this story at Chapter 50, including an epilogue! I'm pacing the story out today, and then we'll start wrapping everything up!

 **Much love, Suz Singer.**


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